On last week's episode, we watched Tamra and Eddie patch up their relationship after a wayward boob grab in Catalina. We also saw Vicki and Alexis awkwardly learn of the newfound friendship Gretchen and Tamra are rekindling at Heather’s painting party.
Tonight, we’ve got comedy, and, of course, drama. What else went down tonight? Find out with in THG's Real Housewives of Orange County +/- recap below!
We start off the night with Vicki and Tamra at Vicki’s house that she still shares with Don. Her not-yet-ex-husband. Tamra is upset that Vicki didn’t say goodbye to her after Heather’s party. And Vicki is being all kinds of passive-aggressive about Tamra’s newfound friendship with Gretchen.
Vicki is pretty butthurt over the whole thing, so she starts playing the one-up game and claims that she and Alexis are BFFs now. Tamra knows better. Tamra breaks out a book called 52 Weeks of Great Sex that she bought with Gretchen and Vicki is immediately turned off.
“It’s not Biblical,” says Vicki. Tamra fires back, “Oh God, you have been hanging out with Alexis!” Minus 10 to Vicki for acting like a scorned 14 year old girl. And a prude.
Plus 10 to Tamra for playing dirty with Vicki.
Alexis and Heather are getting together for sushi and sake. Alexis claims she’s doing news anchoring – and, of course, she’s just doing some booty-lifting guest spots on the local news channel.
Heather is in disbelief, asking if she’s more like Jillian Barberie or Katie Couric. “I would be more like Jillian Bar-beer-ee” says Alexis. Minus 5, you ditz.More passive aggression, this time from Heather. She calls Alexis an enigma and brings up the awkward sex comments from last week’s painting party. Alexis is starting to sense Heather’s condescending attitude, but Heather brushes this off as her way of “joking.”
Minus 5 for a very awkward lunch.
Slade is practicing his new stand-up routine… in front of his mother. He says some truly unfunny jokes. I am cringing and this is in front of an audience of one.
His mom says their two Chihuahuas are more entertaining. She mentions how he’s never shown a desire to be a stand-up comic, and he asks her what he’s always aspired to do.
Mom deadpans, “You’ve always wanted to be independently wealthy… and then you got old.” And then she laughs at him. Or at herself. Plus 15 for Mom being brutally honest.
He quickly segues into asking her opinion on him proposing to Gretchen. She backs off saying NO! Not good vibes from mom! But then she softens up a little bit saying that Gretchen is very good to him. Plus 5 for Mom dishing out more honesty.
Eddie and Tamra are out walking the dog. The dog’s peeing everywhere, marking his territory. Eddie wisecracks that he used to do that to Tamra. Minus 10 for the Golden Shower comment. Ew, Eddie. Just ew.
They start discussing moving in together when Tamra’s lease is up in a couple of months. He mentions that his plan is to take things step by step until they get to the point of marriage. She’s hesitant due to her two previous failed marriages, but he’s pretty warm on the idea.
Plus 5 to Eddie for being a committed man. Even if Tamra does put other men’s hands on her boobs.
Gretchen walks in on Slade working on his stand-up material. He has some unflattering pictures of the girls on his screen, and he’s planning on working the blog/tabloid angle into his act. Gretchen is not pleased with this since she’s been patching up her relationships with the girls.
Slade doesn’t care, and he’s only interested in dragging their names through the mud for the sake of comedy, “because that’s what comedians do.” She all but pleads with him to remove the material because she’ll be the one that catches the heat. Minus 10 to Slade for being a douche and ignoring the potential fallout for his woman.
Finally, we’re off to Slade’s big comedy act. Gretchen’s there, of course. In a bikini. Apparently, Gretchen is not only hosting, but will also have her own comedic lead-ins.
In attendance are Slade’s mom, Gretchen’s friend Sarah and her husband Kurt, Alexis and Jim, and Heather and Terry. Gretchen and Slade are both nervous wrecks backstage. Heather mentions that in addition to her singing and acting, she’s done stand-up too. Alexis is rightfully in disbelief because Heather’s super-pretentious crap is starting to get very old.
Gretchen finally hits the stage in an orange coverall jumpsuit.
First joke? Massive bomb. The second joke is starting to go the same route. So Gretchen disrobes to her bikini and finally elicits some cheers. Gretchen introduces the first comedian whose opening line is “WTF was that?!”
Backstage, Gretchen gets some too-late advice from another comedian about timing and setting up the joke. Minus 10 for bombing on stage. Plus 5 for trying in the first place.
Tamra and Eddie are at a fondue restaurant. Tamra brings up the turmoil she was in with her previous marriage and witnessing her kids struggling with the separation. She tells Eddie she doesn’t feel that moving in with him is the right decision.
She’s so used to being dependent on a man that she doesn’t think she will feel fulfilled as a person unless she stands on her own for a while. Eddie says he supports this decision and backs her 100%. Plus 10 again to both of them for taking it slow.
We’re back at the comedy club, and Gretchen is introducing Slade. He shows off his Housewife Hunter t-shirt, poking fun at himself for sleeping with several of these women. Alexis finds it funny. Not many others in the audience do. Mom is yawning. I’m cringing. Minus 5 for douche chills.
Vicki meets her daughter, Briana, for dinner. Vicki has a cold sore. Briana keeps making fun of her for having herpes and says she’s making out with people with herpes. At this point, Briana does not know about Vicki’s new boyfriend, Brooks. They discuss Briana’s dating life. Briana says she’s not interested in commitment right now. Vicki apparently disapproves of tattoos while Briana only seems to date guys with them.
Minus 5 to Vicki for hiding her relationship with Brooks.
Back to the comedy club, again. Slade’s cracking jokes about ex-Housewife, ex-fiancé Jo de la Rosa. Then he turns his crosshairs on Tamra and Vicki. He posts an unflattering photo of Tamra on an overhead projector and says Vicki’s had plastic surgery to look like Miss Piggy.
Heather is confused as to why he’s trashing his girlfriend’s new friend. Alexis is cringing, fearing what Vicki’s reaction will be. Gretchen is mortified and ready to kill Slade. People are groaning, some are laughing, and he gets some cheers. But not from Gretchen. Plus 10 to Slade for getting some revenge. Minus 20, however, to Slade for completely ignoring his woman.
Back at the restaurant with Vicki and her daughter, Briana voices her displeasure with being the product of two divorces. It’s no wonder she’s a commitment-phobe. She’s looked up to Don as a father figure and is concerned that Vicki will jump into a new relationship too soon because she doesn’t want to be alone. Minus 10 to Vicki for not realizing until now the effect her divorces have had on her kids and their future relationships.
And once again, we’re back at the Improv. Backstage, Heather and Terry meet Slade for the first time. Gretchen asks Heather and Terry if they thought she and Slade were genuinely funny. Terry says he liked the bikini. Plus 5, Terry, for being an honest man, even if your wife is standing right there.
In her one-on-one, Heather gives Gretchen a solid 4 out of 10 and Slade gets a 3.
Alexis and Jim also join the backstage and Gretchen voices some concern about Slade trashing Tamra and Vicki. Alexis says that it’s very nearly justified since they’re guilty of saying some mean things to his face.
At the restaurant, we learn that Briana is undergoing surgery to get her thyroid removed soon. She has a tumor either in her thyroid or a type of lymphoma. Vicki freaks out over the C-word. They’re both rightfully quite nervous about this. They both try to stay positive and talk about their love for each other. Plus 20 for good karma for Briana.
Riding home from the Improv, Slade pours the praise on Gretchen and her performance, but Gretchen still feels upset over him trashing the girls. Slade is talking out of both sides of his mouth. He’s being very vindictive about slaughtering them on stage, yet keeps telling Gretchen that he does care about her rebuilding relationships with Tamra and Vicki. Minus 10 to Slade for continuing to be a dirtbag.
EPISODE TOTAL -30! SEASON TOTAL: -10!