The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: No Bones About It

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The Real Housewives of Atlanta continued their African adventure Sunday night, but can the crew hold on to their newfound peace? Don't bet on it.

We recap it all as the insults fly with our THG +/- review!

Back from the orphanage, everyone's talking about how much they have and how it felt to witness people so appreciative for towels and soap. For the first time the women seem to find something worthwhile to bond over. Plus 15

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Well, all but Marlo. She's bitching about the shrimp in her salad. Minus 10. Apparently the trip to the orphanage affected some of the ladies more than others.

Has anyone else noticed that Cynthia's hair is gorgeous this entire trip? Plus 8. I think it's really stunning.

Phaedra invites the ladies to a museum to experience the local Xhosa culture. She says when you know better you do better. We'll agree with the sentiment. Plus 7.

Unfortunately, the sentiment and the reality are two different things. The Xhosa culture couldn't be more sexist. All a man has to do is find a lady he likes on the street, tell a family member to fetch her for his wife.

The woman involved has no choice in the matter. Minus 10. That's just scary.

Of course not everyone need worry. For instance, Sheree is too old. Yes, according to the herbalist/medicine man/witch doctor or whatever the hell he is, his reading of the "bones" tells him Sheree will never marry again because she is too old.

Plus 12 because we can't stop laughing.

OK, so his ancestor's bones are actually a strange combination of sea shells and dice that you blow on like you're about to shoot craps and then he can read your fate. 
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So how accurate are these bones? Well, they say that Kandi's living with the guy she'll marry. A bit of a problem since she's single and the last man she lived with died. The bones man simply says that his spirit is following her and is always there.

Too bad Kandi can't marry a spirit then. Minus 10.

Marlo's fortune tells her she's never found a man who really loves her. No kidding. And NeNe's says she isn't happy and that her husband is a good man and he's right but she shouldn't stay if she's not happy. 

NeNe argues she's not happily married but she is happy. The bones disagree. Plus 8 because it's fun to watch NeNe argue with a stack of sea shells.

Oh, and the bones tell us that Cynthia is happily married. Ha! Minus 9. Maybe for public appearances, if that but not for real.

Back at the reserve Marlo decides to give the ladies a treat and show off her shoes and bags. She's packed 29 pairs of heels for an African safari. Minus 8. What would she have packed if she went to Paris for 10 days?

The night gets wild as the alcohol flows and Marlo and Kandi swap favorite sexual positions, demonstrations included. How do we even issue points for that? But at least every one is laughing instead of screaming at one another. If only it would last.

2 Housewives of Atlanta

The next day Marlo's too sick to head out on safari, not that it matters. The women are so loud and into their gossiping that they miss most of the wildlife they pass by. Minus 7.

It seems like everyone is looking to cause trouble. First Kandi tells NeNe they've all been trashing Marlo. Why would she do that? Minus 10.

And what's with all of the bitching about Kim? The girl's not even here and personally we think having a two month old infant at home is a pretty good reason to skip a trip to another continent.

First Kandi and Cynthia gossip that they're not surprised Kim didn't come and they can't picture her at an orphanage with a bunch of African kids. Minus 10, especially for Kandi who always comes off like Kim's friend.

Then Sheree calls Kim and throws the girls under the bus by telling her that they said they can't picture her in Africa holding some black babies. Minus 15. This just keeps getting worse.

And it just won't stop. Kim's name pops up again during dinner as NeNe calls her the boss of the smalls. Now everybody's bitching and it looks like this fight is going to continue into next week if not beyond.

We'll see if anyone is still talking to one another by the time they get home.


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The Real Housewives of Atlanta Quotes

[to Kenya Moore] You best hope nothing happens to me, because you might not have a job. I'm your storyline. I sustain your career . . . I built you, so stop playing games.

Apollo Nida

[to Kenya Moore] "You a sneaky, trifling slut."

Phaedra Parks