There are few guarantees in life, but on The Bachelor, there are several:
- The word "hometown" will be dropped around 173 times per season.
- People will somehow say "Ben and I's relationship" almost as often.
- There will be increasing drama with each passing week, and Courtney Robertson and/or the people writing for Courtney Robertson will stir that ish up.
Monday was no exception as Courtney, Nicky Sterling, Kacie Boguskie and Lindzi Cox took Ben Flajnik to meet their parents in four awkward, contrived dates.
Court brought her aggressive game this week, just when we thought she couldn't make us any more uncomfortable. Could the other girls hold a candle to her?
Who made the final three? Were The Bachelor spoilers right, or did Ben pull a surprise? Hint: Someone's dad prompted a breakup many did not see coming.
Here's THG's official +/- Bachelor recap:
Lindzi Cox kicked things off at home in Ocala, Fla., where Ben became only the second guy she's ever brought home. This girl has been seriously lacking for screen time since the premiere considering how clearly cool she is. Plus 23.
They chatted about the first man she brought home who she said later broke her heart. Plus 5, not for breaking Lindz's heart, but because it's the right time in one's courtship to start bringing things up ... not on the first or second date.
"I've had a good feeling about Lindzi since the first night. She makes me feel good," Ben said in his confessional. Just not in the way Courtney does. Minus 20.
Her parents married in San Francisco's City Hall - the same place Ben and Lindzi had their first date! What are the odds?! (On this show, rather high!) Plus 3.
"I could see a forever future with Ben; I've never said that before," Lindzi told her mom after she met Ben. Aww. We're increasingly hoping she gets it. Plus 4.
Horeseback riding time! You knew it was coming. Plus 6.
Lindzi's dad: "We'd be honored to have you as our son-in-law!" Safe to say that went about as well as a contrived, reality TV meet-the-parents date could! Plus 9.
Courtney Robertson was up next, telling her folks, "[Ben] is smart and funny and I really feel like I'm falling for him. I, like, love him." Like, like, like, Minus 20.
At least she's candid with everyone and not putting on an act: "He makes me feel so special; If he keeps it up, I'll be ready to say yes if he proposes." Plus 8.
Of course, then she and the producers had to go totally over the top. Let's go have a picnic at the place Court ALWAYS WANTED to get married. Minus 13.
She then surprised Ben with a faux wedding ... complete with officiant. She handed Ben a notebook to write his down his vows, too. Incredible. Minus 17.
"We are not Mr. and Mrs. Flajnik yet, but it feels pretty good to try it on for size," Courtney Robertson says. Girl definitely knows how to make a point. Plus 9.
Minus 6, though, because that point is often unpleasant. As is her delivery. You can't fake all of this for entertainment's sake, can you? Who the heck knows.
Nicki Sterling the dental hygienist started her date off in a boot shop, where they snap up cowboy boots and hats. Always a nice touch for a Texas girl. Plus 10.
She then reveals she married the last man she brought home. Crickets. Minus 11.
Dad has some reservations: "I don't want you to get hurt. I may have too readily given your hand in marriage the first time." Honest and heartfelt. Plus 8.
Nicki's mom is more sold: "I see with Ben some kind of connection I've not seen ... even with her first husband." Really? Ben and Nicki? If you say so! Plus 5.
"[Ben] makes me feel cherished and special." - Nicki. Cherished? Minus 3.
Kacie Boguskie finally welcomed Ben to visit her family, with a salute from a marching band at her high school and baton twirling by herself, obvi. Plus 16.
"When I'm around Kacie I feel like I'm at ease. She has this endearing quality that brings out the best in me," Ben said. Plus 7. Two hours later, though?
Kacie's dad is a federal probation officer who doesn't drink. Ben notes that this is "Strike one" given his profession. If only it didn't get worse ... Minus 5.
"I would be very frustrated if something my dad says causes Ben to question our relationship," Kacie said. Yup, that pretty much happened! Minus 5.
Ben asks if Kacie's dad is "comfortable" with their situation, and he tells him no. He clearly isn't thrilled with The Bachelor concept. Good guy. Plus 11.
"If Kacie is not the one for you, I would hope that would be communicated to her very soon to keep her from getting hurt more," says her dad. Plus 9.
Then he really piled it on: "If he was to ask me if he could marry you, I would say no," he said, adding to "get to know each other better." Plus 10.
"All of a sudden, everything is going wrong, I don't know if I can fix it," Kacie laments. Minus 7, because we are sad for her, but it may be for the best.
Ben eliminates Kacie B., which became plainly obvious. Minus 23.
"I had no clue this was coming. Am I not good enough? I don't get it! How did this happen? What the (bleep) happened?!" Kacie B. said, dejected.
Your dad happened. Plus 8. And Courtney happened. Minus 29.
EPISODE TOTAL: -10! SEASON TOTAL: -58!
Elimination: Kacie Boguskie.