Teen Mom 2 closed out its second season with a bang last night.
Someone cheated, someone broke up their relationship (and household) for good, while someone came back from rehab and someone got back together with their ex.
If you saw last week, and the week before that, you pretty much know who we're referring to in each case, but that didn't make it any less surprising to watch.
Let's get to it and break down the antics of Jenelle Evans, Leah Messer, Chelsea Houska and Kailyn Lowry our Teen Mom 2 season finale recap, THG +/- style!
Jenelle Evans heads off to rehab in Malibu, California. Plus 19.
That place must be really affordable. It's apparently run by hunks, once of which picks up Jenelle to take her to the facility. She remarks that she's never "been so upset, anxious, depressed" in her life. Debbie Downer much? Minus 10.
We kid. She's clearly there for a reason. Asked why she came, Jenelle explains that "Weed is not really a problem for me. The only problem with it is I'm not allowed to smoke."
Plus 15 for such an obvious, moronically defiant stoner comment.
She takes a drug test that turns up positive for THC. Minus 20.
A psychologist learns that Jenelle's brother (who we know even less about than her baby daddy) has bipolar schizophrenia. The doctor feels Jenelle may be bipolar as well, and he treats her with anxiety meds. She's surprisingly receptive. Plus 24.
Asked how she'd describe herself, she says "impulsive, smart and angry." Asked what she wants to be, she says: "happy, more caring and affectionate." Plus 13.After two weeks, she's allowed to use her computer and cell phone, and Kieffer immediately guilt tips her. Mercifully, Jenelle's completely immune. Plus 17.
"Why don't you let me focus on myself while I'm here?" she asks. "I'm gonna move on," Kieffer replies. Hopefully he meant move on off a cliff. Plus 27.
Face Tahm with Bahhbrahh!!! Plus 19.
Their reunion is almost touching. We know Jenelle Evans has had more issues since this episode, but she really seems like she's trying. A little. Right? Minus 10.
Kailyn Lowry can't stop thinking about Jo, with whom "Things went further than they should have." At least she doesn't totally kiss/boink and tell. Plus 8.
Jo has no such filter, telling his bro: "We got Isaac to sleep ... and we ended up having sex in the shower." Plus 12, because he is an aspiring rapper and all.
Kailyn sort of confesses to Jordan: "I just started to have feelings for Jo again. It makes life so much harder. Why do I put myself in these positions."
You mean the position where you were bent over in the shower? Minus 19.
Minus 28 more for turning around the argument on Jordan, saying he can't understand the bond a mother has with her child's father. Girl, please.
His final words: "I hope you can live with yourself." Ouch. Plus 17.
When she confronts Jo, he bluntly says, "I'm not sitting here, trying to settle down. I'm just living my life. This is bad timing." Ouch again, Kails.
Now, the tears she did not shed for Jordan come on hard. Minus 13.
Chelsea Houska is focused on her GED, but decides she needs a break, which entails going to a car show her awful ex will probably be at! Yay? Minus 9.
Naturally, Adam is in fact there. "How long is it going to take before I can see him and not get sad?" Chelsea asked her mom. Here we go ... Minus 7.
Chelsea passes her GED flying colors! "Did you bomb?" Randy asks. LOL. Plus 20.
When Adam shows up to to hold Aubree, she panics and cries. Figures. Plus 12.
He asks Chelsea if she'd like to take a drive, and it's pretty obvious she will walk over broken glass if this loser shows a hint of interest, which is sad. Minus 39.
Later, she rides off into the sunset on the back of his black motorcycle. Neither her head nor her heart is safe at this point, and it's disappointing. Minus 11.
Leah Messer and Corey Simms are splitting up. This was obvious when he came across the section of the paper that lists everyone who filed. Minus 20.
That's located next to the Gun Permits column. Plus 12.
He's shocked, or at least feigning it for the cameras, that Leah went through with this. He takes off his ring slowly, despondently for effect. Plus 18.
As Leah and her mom discuss Leah's future, her mom decides it's a good time to take out the wedding photos that finally came in the mail! Uhh, Minus 7.
When Leah Messer heads to the lawyer's office to drop Aleeah and Ali off with Corey, she loses it. The first night of loneliness is more than she can take.
"This is a marriage that's led to a divorce," she says. DEEP. Minus 10.
There's nothing positive about their home being physically wrecked, or at least divided up and moved out. They both cry a lot. It's depressing. Minus 25.
EPISODE TOTAL: +5! SEASON TOTAL: +48!