Yes, that actually happened on this week's Jersey Shore ... in one sense.
Last night's episode saw Roger knock some fool out, while the gang partook in a lot of water sports. Again, not as dirty as it sounds. Plenty idiotic, but not that dirty.
Later on, Lola the rabbit went to Karma and Ron got a mini-bike. Aww! How did everything else play out in Seaside Heights? Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style!
Roger KO'd the dude who started messing with JWoww at the end of last week's episode. Not too much of a cliffhanger there ... have you seen Roger?! Plus 9.
Snooki gets upset when her boyfriend is too sick to smush. Jionni booting in the bathroom totally gets in the way of her "getting it in." Tragic news. Minus 4.
Meanwhile, Roger spends time with the roommates, talking and eating one of Mike's famous late-night sandwiches, instead of getting it in with J. Plus 10.
In an attempt to do something different, the producers Deena and Sammi persuaded the group to go to fishing, and crabbing. It is the shore, so Plus 6.
"I never thought I'd be excited about catching crabs." - Sitch. Too easy, but Plus 10.
The Situation helps Deena control the raft. Deena hits the water while Ronnie tries to deflate the raft. It's all pretty much a three-ring CF circus. Plus 7.Snooki and Deena manage to make it out of the water alive. Yay? More crucially, Snooki breathes a sigh of relief after rescuing her drink. Lush. Plus 3.
Yelling "sharp" can easily be mistaken as "shark" when spoken loudly and in an accent that stems from the Tri-State area. Not a good idea. Minus 9.
Vinny managed to catch a fish (tiny, but whatever) while Jenni seemed to be the resident expert in catching crabs. Sorry, but it is totally true. Plus 6.
She also proves adept at handling a pole. Gosh, we just can't stop. Plus 5.
Mike interrogates Snooki on her relationship with Jionni. Again. Minus 8.
"He's a nice kid. I just don't think he's established as a man yet, you know what I mean, to take care of you. That's all." - Sitch, on Jionni. Umm, thanks? Wash.
After losing a bet with The Situation, Snooki spends the night at Karma in her Lola costume. Yep, the giant bunny went to the club. Awesome. Plus 12.
Vinny describes this as "hot." Not our first word choice. Minus 7.
Mike, the "hunter and gatherer of the house when it comes to ladies" (not to toot his own horn) met a woman who actually says, "I'm a DTF girl!" Minus 11.
And she had friends for Pauly and Vinny. Their parents? So proud. Minus 14.
Snooks says she wants to "break a law or two tonight." As such, she and Deena hop a fence and hit the beach. So totally "legit criminals." Plus 10.
Maybe so. Snooki: "It's the friggin' cops!" Police officer: "Nicole!" Plus 20.
Snooki later went and found a mini motor bike that Ron said wanted earlier in the episode, then showed up and told him she got it for him. Cute. Plus 15.
Pauly D's "stalker" showed up again at the Shore Store, but this time, he was there. Fortunately, Jenni was all over it, confronting this nut job. Plus 5.
She asked her what the deal was and what was in that bag she always carried. "A blanket," replied the stalker. Minus 16 for either lying or being half crazy.
Snooki and Vinny go out on the boardwalk together, and while they don't end up getting it in by some miracle, they do dance and look kinda cute. Plus 18.
"If Jionni wasn't in the equation, I'd hook up with Vinny. Obviously." - Snook. Minus 14 for saying that on a show Jionni is obviously going to watch later.
She and Vin will always have a "special bond," she says ... one that goes all the way back to the time(s) she cheated on her BF with him. Minus 10.
EPISODE TOTAL: +37! SEASON TOTAL: +252!
Jersey Shore ...