The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion Recap, Part I: Sparks, Snark and Memories

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The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are sitting on the couch. No it's not therapy. It's the reunion show and who would miss it. We recap all of the confessions, name calling, and overall snarkiness in our THG +/- review!

The first half of this reunion starts off with no Dana, Brandi or Kim. Although the first two aren't mentioned, Andy tells us that Kim has checked herself in to an alcohol and drug treatment center. Well thank goodness for that.

Plus 20. That woman needs help and it's about time she got it.

Kim in Rehab

The rest of the ladies are present and have Taylor Armstrong's lips gotten even bigger than they were all season or is it just me? Minus 10. I think she can stop the injections now. Her transformation into a duck is nearly complete.

But we'll get back to Taylor later.

Instead we move on to admiring Lisa's curvaceous back end. Yes, we get a montage of booty shots of the classy Brit. Plus 5 because she barely blushes as she scoffs at Andy's question about implants.

Of course things take a darker turn rather quickly. I never realized that everyone took Lisa's dry humor so seriously. Yes, she can be kind of snarky but her little digs are generally funny and right on the mark.

Poor Adrienne is still ticked about Lisa's calling her new shoe line the Maloof hoof. Personally I think the moniker is hilarious but I suppose if they were my shoes I might not be so happy. But how many things rhyme with Maloof?

But Minus 10 to Adrienne whining about Lisa's tweet about her crackpot dog. They both have crackpot dogs for goodness sake. 
Maloof Hoof

Kyle also jumps on the beat up Lisa bandwagon and laments how hurt she was when Lisa accused Kyle of being desperate for attention. Honey, you were doing splits on a tabletop at a party. If you were looking for any more attention you would have had to take your top off. Minus 7.

Then Kyle cries about being misinterpreted on game night. People don't realize that she's really not like that. If I remember correctly she gave one hell of a performance as a bullying mean girl on game night. I don't see how she can blame Lisa for that. Minus 8.

Finally the conversation gets back around to $25K sunglasses, edible gold dust, in home full service spas, and dresses worth tens of thousands of dollars.

In other words, things most of us will never come close to having and part of the reason why we tune into this show. Plus 10.

After that bit of fun we get back around to Taylor. She says she was so used to being controlled by Russell that now that he's gone she finds that making her own decisions is hard.

And Lisa recalls a text she saw from Russell to his wife that sounds downright scary. Minus 12. Taylor has real issues if she let her daughter be witness to that type of behavior.

Taylor Armstrong Cries a Lot

Everyone offers they sympathy and support but Camille is still pissed about Taylor making her out to be the villain in this drama. I don't think these two will ever be the friends they once were.

Andy asks whether the show should have aired after Russell's suicide. Adrienne says yes because it delivers a message about domestic abuse and suicide. Camille disagrees.

She worries about Russell's children viewing the show. Unfortunately, I'm sure Kennedy will have plenty of issues to deal with with or without the show.

Then we go back to beating up on Lisa. Adrienne accuses her of getting paid for leaking stories to on-line sources. Minus 10. Lisa denies it vehemently and Adrienne seems willing to take the word of some sleazy on-line reporter instead of her supposed friend. If Adrienne can't back up this story with more facts I think she needs to keep her mouth shut.

Bet Lisa's happy she has new neighbors.

Just before the first half ends Brandi Glanville makes an appearance. No matter what anyone thinks of Brandi, you have to admit that the girl's funny. Plus 13

Brandi admits that she and ex Eddie Cibrian only speak through his assistant but that they never badmouth one another to their kids. Of course their friends get an earful which they consider fair game.

Thankfully it looks like Brandi sticks around for next week's episode. When the gloves come off we'll see who's still left sitting on the sofa.

EPISODE TOTAL: -9! SEASON TOTAL: -245!

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Kyle is a bully who preys on those she perceieves as weaker or meeker than her. Taylor is a con and a bully, most likely a pathological liar, since most if her "history" has been invented many times over. Adrienne is a spoiled, petulant, whiney, two-faced person who smiles in ine's face while she spreads gossip and innuendo behind her "friends" backs....and instead of confronting her friends about her issues, she whines to EVERYBODY but them. Brandi is just blunt, filterless and with no tact. Camille is genuinely a good person who is just nice and cares too much, biggest flaw is allowing people to talk AT her. Dana just wants to be accepted by the "cool" kids, the HOLLYWOOD connections. Kim is socially awkward, and has been through a lot, she moved to care for their dying mother and is not part of Kyle's "circle" all her friends and her life was involvedd in AZ and her ex and their family and friends. Lisa, is too good for most of them, Kyle, Adrienne, and Taylor are snakes

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Boy, not only did Kim go to rehab, but while she was there they must have had a special 2 for 1. Go for alcohol/drug rehab and get a face lift. When you have had years of alcohol abuse your face doesn't come out looking years younger. That is called a facelift.

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I absolutely agree with everyone who said Kyle is two-faced and a mean bully it fits her really well she is my least favorite. Luckily I record the shows and it allows me to forward a scene where Kyle and Kim appear. They are a waste of time, and they do occupy a lot of time that should show the glamour, wit and good sense of humor of Lisa. Lisa epitomizes class and I like everything she does. Camille is my favorite too, her clothes are beautiful, elegant and fits her to a T Her character is shining with every episode I see and she has class, tact and is very elegant. Adrienne should get a stylist, her clothes are atrocious, with all the money she’s got, she could hire a stylist that could bring forth her best in clothes, and not the shiny plasticky outfits she keeps on wearing. She is nice too, I like her as well, and I just can’t stand the outfit she wears.

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Kyle makes excuses for her awful conduct. It's never her fault or she was misinterpreted. Adrienne lost her sense of humor but was exalted to Supreme Being when she chastised the Lisa. Last season, Taylor was confident and laughed with her paid stylist that Russell was like a wallet with pants because she could purchase whatever glad rags she wanted. At no point did Russell raise his meek voice to her. If she was the victim of abuse, the doctors who treated her would have had to report it. Russell would have been arrested. More importantly, she expected Russell "co-parent" of Kennedy. I agree completely with Camille's comment. The show should not have been aired. The veil of domestic violence was whispered or glossed over the entire season until the Sur Lounge Opening Night Therapy Session. Suicide was only mentioned at the end with no explanation. We have only Taylor's word for everything. Frankly, I don't believe anything that comes from her fake puffed-up lips.

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I have watched RHBH for a while now. At first I liked Kyle but over the past 2 seasons, she really has become a Bitch. She is mean and a liar. Just because you have a gorgeous husband who financial takes care of you, doesn't give you the right to look down on your fellow castmates. She and her messed up sister Kim started everything at game night but they both blame Brandi. You "ladies" need to rewatch that episode! Brandi is fun, I like her. Taylor should leave the show and get the much needed help for herself and her daughter, they need it.

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Lisa is a hoot...we love to see her and Ken interact. Couldn't believe I found myself loving Camille this season. Kyle is consistently jealous and snarky. The mean girls scene when Brandy was sitting across the room was STUNNING. Everyone clear now how kids become bullys? IT COMES FROM HAVING BULLYING PARENTS! I am not even wild about Brandy, but that was terrible. Ugh.

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Kyle and especially, Adrienne, are PATHETIC. Lisa is charming, witty, gorgeous AND was a real friend to them. Adrienne and Kyle made themselves look disgusting and I am disappointed and embaressed in how they treated Lisa. Team Lisa all the way! Kick Kyle and Adrienne OFF the show. And bring Brandi in!

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When Kyle compared Lisa to Bobby Fischer playing chess and planning every move it showed how dumb Kyle really is. Yes, Lisa is smart but not at the genius like Bobby Fischer. Kyle is not used to hanging out with smart, intelligent, educated people. Look at who Kyle surrounds herself with and when you hang out with people like Taylor, Paris, Faye, like herself she can never learn, grow and be challenged. Also Lisa is not mean and manipulative like Kyle.Kyle shouldn't use names she doesn't know because she comes across dumber than she really is.

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what's wrong with you people? Taylor was being abused period. Leave her alone!!

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I think its disgusting how these so called "women" act, there meant to b shown a gd example yet they act like a bunch off 16year olds kyle kim and lisa are the biggest bitches ganging up on brandi they all should b ashamed off themselves there disgusting behavior should b frowned apon by everyone, I feel sorry for their kids...

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