The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Strapped!

by at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Atlanta are back and the tension has never been higher. Can Kandi Burruss' momma bring these lovely ladies back together?

We break it all down in THG's patented +/- recap!

First, Kim and Kroy decide to spend some quality time together ... at the shooting range ... with the baby! Seriously? Minus 10. I'm not anti-gun but bringing an infant along as Kim fires off some rounds is just nonsense. 

Kim Zolciak Strapped

As Kim learns the ins and out of becoming a "pistol packing momma" it be nice if someone would talk about gun safety around the kids. Minus 15. Kim's weapon of choice may be pink but that doesn't make it any less deadly.

After gun shopping they head off for a family psychic reading where Kim learns she'll have yet another child, this time a girl. Even little baby Kroy gets in on the act and gets his first official palm reading. As silly as it is, I've got to give Kroy and Kim a Plus 10. They just look too damn happy being together.

Then we move onto Peter and Cynthia who seem to have forgotten all about last week's fight where they were practically talking divorce. Minus 8 because they're making me a little ill as they hold hands and look all lovey dovey walking into lunch together. 

It's a peace summit of sorts as Peter and Cynthia lunch with Phaedra and Apollo. Minus 5 since it's kind of boring. The boys are civil; the girls talk about a trip to South Africa.

NeNe Leakes Will Wreck You

When asked about the trip, NeNe swears she's not going as she says she wouldn't go to the "damn trash can with them." How much do you want to bet she'll be there.

NeNe once again meets up with her cheesy Italian business partner, John. Minus 12 because this guy just skeeves me out. I don't think NeNe particularly likes him either but since he's rich, fawns all over her and brings her gifts of shoes, she smiles and plays along. Somehow, that scene made the term "shoe whore" come to mind.

Apparently Marlo's mugshots have hit the blogs and Kandi is all too willing to show them around. Looks like Marlo's been arrested for everything from writing bad checks to aggravated assault. 

Phaedra says that violent crime arrest is scarier because she's a woman. Huh?

Phaedra Parks Image

Then Phaedra and Sheree visit an African history museum and Phaedra's peeking under the male mannequin's clothes to check out his package. How old are we? Minus 10. Her "connoisseur of artistic nudity" act is kind of disrespectful in such a serious setting.

Kandi and Momma Joyce have lunch with all the ladies. It's the first time NeNe and Kim have sat at the same table all season. They're both quiet but civil which I think is the best you can hope for but Momma Joyce wants better. 

She pushes both women to say Hi which they reluctantly do but that's not enough for Momma. She wants them all to be friends again and she won't let it go. The meddling becomes tiresome, fast. Minus 13

There's' no group hugging going on here and the barrage of well meaning nagging just sends everyone scurrying from the table. Forget being friends. Let's just be happy they're not choking one another.

EPISODE TOTAL: -63. SEASON TOTAL: -229!

Tags: , , , , , ,

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Quotes

[to Kenya Moore] You best hope nothing happens to me, because you might not have a job. I'm your storyline. I sustain your career . . . I built you, so stop playing games.

Apollo Nida

[to Kenya Moore] "You a sneaky, trifling slut."

Phaedra Parks