The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Meeting Marlo, Goin' Country, Planning Perfect Funerals

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The Real Housewives of Atlanta is back after a holiday hiatus and our hopes were high for some Housewives drama in 2012. Did we get our wish? 

Let's break down the night in THG's +/- review!

Phaedra's still gung ho over starting her own funeral home. "Fantasy Funerals by Phaedra." Seriously, hasn't everyone dreamed of their perfect funeral? Minus 10.

A Phaedra Parks Pic

Apollo's still not on board with this plan so Phaedra takes him on a tour of friend Willy's establishment. You could almost see Phaedra's mind calculating the mark up to all of those caskets but Apollo looked pretty creeped out in the embalming room.

Someone has to do an apprenticeship and I can't picture Phaedra donning the rubber gloves and mask and Apollo might just pass out thinking about it.

As Apollo worries about messing around with departed souls, Phaedra woos him with stories of grieving sweet young things hanging onto his toned biceps looking for comfort. Suddenly the spirits aren't so scary anymore. Plus 7 for knowing how to convince her man.

Kandi makes her way down to Nashville to pitch her songs to country artist Jo Dee Messina. Kandi doesn't seem to get the country vibe just yet and it was hard to tell how well the collaboration really went. But Plus 5 for getting into the spirit with new boots and hat.

Kim's Daughter Brielle

Kim's oldest, Brielle is acting every bit the 14-year-old teen. She's just had to move, switch schools and is now saddled with a baby brother and new step-dad. Unsurprisingly she's being stubborn and surly. Plus 11 for keeping it real.

Sheree stops in to help Kim with her post pregnancy workout. Kim looks like she'd rather be indulging in some donuts than Sheree's health juice concoctions and I can't say I blame her but Plus 5 for giving it a shot.

The well endowed Kim gives yoga a go but can someone get this woman a sports bra. Please. That almost looks painful.

NeNe and Marlo meet over drinks to discuss Charles. Minus 10 because is this really such a big deal. The show keeps hyping this triangle. So Charles may have dated NeNe and now he's dating Marlo. Big deal.

Then NeNe and Marlo become shopping buddies and attend an incredibly boring fundraiser where rich women buy hideously overpriced, gaudy jewelry and feel good about donating to charity. Minus 8 because I'm falling asleep.

A NeNe Leakes Pic

Finally Cynthia confronts Peter about him bailing on her grand opening. He answers that he is who he is and if she doesn't like it she can find the door. Minus 13. I wish she would. The more I see of Peter the more he proves himself to be a complete ass.

But Cynthia continues to try and drags them off to see her pastor. Plus 8 because the marriage is important to her and she doesn't want to walk away. 

The most telling moment of the counseling session is when they're asked to say what they love about one another. Peter declines to answer the question. Jackass.

I can't blame Cynthia when she tells him there are times she doesn't like him. Plus 9. I've had enough of his passive aggressive crap and I'm not married to him.

But honestly, boring is the only word I can come up with to describe this episode. Maybe we'll do better next week when Kim and NeNe are force to sit at the same table. Fingers crossed we'll might get some fireworks down in Atlanta.

EPISODE TOTAL: +4. SEASON TOTAL: -166.

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The Real Housewives of Atlanta Quotes

[to Kenya Moore] You best hope nothing happens to me, because you might not have a job. I'm your storyline. I sustain your career . . . I built you, so stop playing games.

Apollo Nida

[to Kenya Moore] "You a sneaky, trifling slut."

Phaedra Parks