The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Meeting Marlo, Goin' Country, Planning Perfect Funerals

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The Real Housewives of Atlanta is back after a holiday hiatus and our hopes were high for some Housewives drama in 2012. Did we get our wish? 

Let's break down the night in THG's +/- review!

Phaedra's still gung ho over starting her own funeral home. "Fantasy Funerals by Phaedra." Seriously, hasn't everyone dreamed of their perfect funeral? Minus 10.

A Phaedra Parks Pic

Apollo's still not on board with this plan so Phaedra takes him on a tour of friend Willy's establishment. You could almost see Phaedra's mind calculating the mark up to all of those caskets but Apollo looked pretty creeped out in the embalming room.

Someone has to do an apprenticeship and I can't picture Phaedra donning the rubber gloves and mask and Apollo might just pass out thinking about it.

As Apollo worries about messing around with departed souls, Phaedra woos him with stories of grieving sweet young things hanging onto his toned biceps looking for comfort. Suddenly the spirits aren't so scary anymore. Plus 7 for knowing how to convince her man.

Kandi makes her way down to Nashville to pitch her songs to country artist Jo Dee Messina. Kandi doesn't seem to get the country vibe just yet and it was hard to tell how well the collaboration really went. But Plus 5 for getting into the spirit with new boots and hat.

Kim's Daughter Brielle

Kim's oldest, Brielle is acting every bit the 14-year-old teen. She's just had to move, switch schools and is now saddled with a baby brother and new step-dad. Unsurprisingly she's being stubborn and surly. Plus 11 for keeping it real.

Sheree stops in to help Kim with her post pregnancy workout. Kim looks like she'd rather be indulging in some donuts than Sheree's health juice concoctions and I can't say I blame her but Plus 5 for giving it a shot.

The well endowed Kim gives yoga a go but can someone get this woman a sports bra. Please. That almost looks painful.

NeNe and Marlo meet over drinks to discuss Charles. Minus 10 because is this really such a big deal. The show keeps hyping this triangle. So Charles may have dated NeNe and now he's dating Marlo. Big deal.

Then NeNe and Marlo become shopping buddies and attend an incredibly boring fundraiser where rich women buy hideously overpriced, gaudy jewelry and feel good about donating to charity. Minus 8 because I'm falling asleep.

A NeNe Leakes Pic

Finally Cynthia confronts Peter about him bailing on her grand opening. He answers that he is who he is and if she doesn't like it she can find the door. Minus 13. I wish she would. The more I see of Peter the more he proves himself to be a complete ass.

But Cynthia continues to try and drags them off to see her pastor. Plus 8 because the marriage is important to her and she doesn't want to walk away. 

The most telling moment of the counseling session is when they're asked to say what they love about one another. Peter declines to answer the question. Jackass.

I can't blame Cynthia when she tells him there are times she doesn't like him. Plus 9. I've had enough of his passive aggressive crap and I'm not married to him.

But honestly, boring is the only word I can come up with to describe this episode. Maybe we'll do better next week when Kim and NeNe are force to sit at the same table. Fingers crossed we'll might get some fireworks down in Atlanta.

EPISODE TOTAL: +4. SEASON TOTAL: -166.

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marla is a disgrace. Why is she on the show anyway?

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Nene who asked you to invite that stupit lady so call Marlo

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was very shocked by Marlo's comment in south Africa about the person who was suppose to do housekeeping in her suit. Stupid lady who has been to jail 4x from the getto tries to compare her self with south Africa. Could not beleive my eyes that some one will abuse their people from their roots like that. What does she thinks she has/is. Marlo, you are a disgrace to the African heritage. Who even invited. Onlly stupid angry black woman like you as Wendy William will say can invite such an ass whole like Marlo. Who does she(Marlo) thinks is suppose to say good things about Africa. African Americans or other poeple who did not descent from Africa? Please take that woman off that show because she is a shame not only to African Americans,but also to the African heritage that she belongs. Shame to you Marlo.

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and @Maribeau- lol when Kim said that- I blurted out: YOU KIM!! You (maybe not now that she got her hooks into a clueless pro-athelete, but history proves...) Kim must have forgot about "Big-poppa"! ugh gross- and Cynthia could do so much better- how does she look at her hott ex (baby-daddy) and then accept Peters disrespectful a$$? Has Atlantas heat melted all these womens brain cells?

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I couldnt agree more with Mary- Phaedra really is Fakedra- everytime she cheek kisses and hugs someone its a half ass hug and she puckers her lips away from the persons cheek- everything about her body language is negative, closed, and fake... and after losing my father and my sister i was disgusted with her funeral comments- "Funerals worth dying for" are you f**king serious? Perhaps she feels so comfortable in funeral homes because she has no soul- and she showed just how crappy of an attorney she is when an "NFL star who represented himself" left her speechless in front of the judge- any decent atty would have been prepared for any and every possible rebuttle in that case! Just goes to show money cant buy class, personality, heart, and soul.

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After suffering thru the scenes with that fatmouthed Phad.I was furious with that disrespectful,cow.My Mother passed away in 1990 and it was the worst day of my life.If someone had refered to my Mother's funeral as a fantasy,"boom in the tomb" I would have tore them a new a**hole..who in hell do you think you are,you stupid,"liverlip" cow? For all your education,have you ever heard the word respect???You are pathecic as an attorney,(altho that is the perfect job for trash like you),but anyone who would let you take care of their family,in death,is as ignorant as you.Your husband,don't seem to be the sharpest knife in the drawer,but even he seemed to be uncomfortable,with your disrespectful attitude,when talking about bodyies.I truely hope you are never allowed to continue with this. I can't stand you or NeNe,you both are a disgrace to womanhood.I will not watch that STUPID display of ignorance anymore!!!!

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Cynthia knows Peter is not the man for her. It's Peter's way or no
way at all. Peter didn't count of the strength of Mallory and Mom in trying to protect Cynthia. How many ways does Peter have to tell Cynthia that he doesn't give a flying f--k about her or her family. Cynthia self worth and self respect is so low. She needs to move on from Peter permanently. This man has 5 children by as many wives and thinks he knows it all. Peter is use to women who do as he says. At this point, Cynthia is looking pretty pathetic. Peter is a bum and a loser. His restaurant will not make it and he'll probably end of doing something illegal if he hasn't already.

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U are reallywelcome back I really had my hope very high.its gud 2 knw u back

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Kim had the funniest line in talking about Marlo....She said she spends time with rich guys to get her money...and then Kim had the audacity to say straight faced "who DOES that?"....OMG, I was in hysterics............

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Peter is an ass and Cynthia needs to get rid of him before is ass spends all her money because he dosen't have any. He only wants her sometimes. The whole world knows he messing with NENE. PLEASE C WAKE THE ---- UP

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Quotes

[to Kenya Moore] You best hope nothing happens to me, because you might not have a job. I'm your storyline. I sustain your career . . . I built you, so stop playing games.

Apollo Nida

[to Kenya Moore] "You a sneaky, trifling slut."

Phaedra Parks
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