Last week, Courtney Robertson cemented her reputation as The Bachelor villain of the year, manipulating Ben, telling off the other girls and saying "winning" a lot.
Tonight, she took it to a whole new level.
In Puerto Rico for a little spring training, only one team would emerge as winners, and only one woman would be the MVP ... and we don't mean Lindzi Cox. Sadly.
The Bachelor spoilers we've posted so far this season actually didn't give away too much about this episode ... beyond what the promos already told us, at least.
How did it all turn out? Who stood with roses at the end and whose rear end was blurred? Please, join us for THG's official +/- Bachelor recap of week five ...
NO CRYING IN BASEBALL: These players have seen happier moments.
A group date started with an INTENSE game of baseball in Roberto Clemente Stadium, with the winning team scoring a date with Ben, and the losing team sent home. Sporting events for roses? What is this, Bachelor Pad? Plus 10.
Plus 15 for the ladies' "uniforms," too.
Blakeley Shea's got game! Plus 9.
Courtney had a great zinger/compliment: “Blakeley is like a champion out there. Who knew that strippers could play baseball?” Plus 11, because VIP Cocktail Waitress Blakeley totally does look like prime Tiger Woods mistress material.
After a stinging defeat, Blakeley tells her fallen cohorts, “I busted my ass out there because I hoped you guys wanted it just as bad.” Inspiring, Coach. Plus 6.Lindzi was the MVP, at least in the sense that she got to play for both teams. Not in the sense that Blakeley plays for both teams. Just baseball style. Plus 4.
Minus 8 because Lindz is so marginalized by Courtney and would totally be more of a focal point any other season. She's still a favorite, but nevertheless.
Courtney planted the seed early that going for a swim, sans clothing, might be fun. “I have a little idea, so I’m not too worried about the rose,” she said. Minus 12 because we doubt it involves her swallowing salt water and being ill.
Elyse finally got a one-on-one date with Ben. Would her body be enough to earn a second one down the line? Not with Courtney's body around. Minus 7.
“Unfortunately I was hoping for some things today that I just didn’t find ... I only have so much time here and I have to kind of follow my heart. I unfortunately cannot give you this rose. It’s really, really hard for me to say those things, and I’m sorry,” Ben says, cutting her loose. Ouch ... but Plus 13 for politeness and honesty.
“I just don’t know what I did wrong,” she laments. Not skanky enough? Minus 10.
Emily O'Brien AGAIN uses valuable one-on-one time to talk to Ben about Courtney sucking. Minus 10, girl, because no matter how true it is, this won't help you.
“I encourage you to just kind of drop it… and tread lightly,” Ben says. “Be careful. That’s all I’m saying.” Ooh, a threat!! Minus 5 Ben, but still ... Emily Fail.
Speak of the Devil! After he let Elyse go, Courtney lurks at Ben’s doorstep, waiting for him to get back. Wearing a white robe and holding wine glasses, she suggested a “nightcap” to get his mind off the pressure. Barf. Minus 13.
From a pot-stirring entertainment standpoint, give this girl (and the producers) credit for pushing the envelope further and further every week. Plus 60.
But, Minus 90 for being almost entirely unlikable.
“I don’t know if he’s ever skinny-dipped with a model before,” she says. “It could be fun.” Wow, Courtney Robertson is a model??! Who knew! Minus 35.
“I hope I’m a sight for sore eyes. After the date with Elyse, his eyes are probably pretty sore.” LOL. Who writes these lines? Her? Plus 10 in any case.
Ben knows this “probably isn’t a good idea” ... but nevertheless watches Courtney strip buck ass naked and does the same, frolicking into the sea. Plus 90 for the inevitable reaction of the other girls when they hear about this.
Wow. Minus 30 for making us watch cheesy softcore Bachelor porn this week.
Minus 30 more because Courtney is not that hot, Ben. She's an attractive woman, sure, but there are plenty of others who can compete on looks alone.
Court says she's winning again. Minus 15. Ben feels guilty. Yeah. Plus 10.
Shocker: Courtney earned a rose at the rose ceremony the next night. Can anyone stop her from winning the whole thing? Minus 50 because we doubt it.
The clip above has 11 dislikes and no likes on Youtube. Plus 25.
Jennifer, the girl he took out on a fabulous one-on-one date, and the girl he told was the best kisser of all, got the boot at the ceremony! WTH! Minus 50.
EPISODE TOTAL: -102! SEASON TOTAL: +39!
Eliminations: Jennifer, Elyse.
Courtney Robertson ...