Sunday on Kourtney & Kim Take New York, Kim Kardashian finally has hubs Kris Humphries living with her in the city ... but decides she has more fun when he's not.
Kim, Kourtney and Mason drove on up Connecticut to "escape the paparazzi," leaving Scott Disick and Kris to their own scripted devices. How did that play out?
Find out in our weekly rekap, THG style!
Kim and Kourt checking out Mystic, Conn., aquarium with Mason. Nice place. Plus 20.
Kris has been offered "some quick cash" to head up to Toronto and make a club appearance, so off he goes. Kim would be so proud/jealous. Plus 15.
Scott decides to join, saying, "I may go just to prove a point that I'm not whipped." Dude, the same girl let you knock her up twice with no ring. You're good. Plus 25.
"I may go just to prove a point that I'm not whipped," Scott warns Kris, who's having his photo taken with lots of girls ... on a REALITY SHOW. Minus 50.
Kim finds out where they are via Twitter, where someone says, "It's crazy up in here, Scott Disick and Kris Humphries just walked in." E! writer, probably. Plus 9.
Even Mason says that's bad. Plus 6.
Scott, after getting his fade on, can't wait to use the men's room and relieves himself in a garbage can. The man is the epitome of class. Plus 14.
Dun-dun-dun! Back in NY: "How would you feel if I went out of the country to work and didn't tell you?" asks Kim. Trick question: He could just read her Twitter! Minus 8.
"Part of me is not used to being married yet." - Kris. Don't get too used to it! Minus 15.
"I went because Kris was going and he asked me to go and I was here alone. You were gone. I was lonely," explains Scott, slightly more convincingly. Plus 5.
Just like that, Kim's off to Dubai for "work." Kris is aware of the trip, but not invited. Her real life partner, Kris Jenner, will be there instead. Minus 10.
Lucky for Kris, Khloe's in town and hoping to connect with him. At least that's what the producers told her when they flew her out. Minus 10 more.
Kourtney's number of sexual partners remains a mystery. What a tease. Minus 5.
"Everything in Dubai is so stunning," says Kimm as she gets escorted into a luxury suite at the Atlantis. "I'm so excited to be here." No one cares. Minus 30.
Kim gets an A-list star welcoming at the Millions of Milkshakes store opening. People are hanging off the rafters just to see her. So, so sad. Minus 70.
"This is just a pretty special moment." - Kim. Anything in which she gets attention and money qualifies. Sadly, marriage does not apply. Minus 100.
"I feel like I'm back to myself and I'm really enjoying this feeling." - Kim Kardashian. You know what they say about that one-month itch ... Minus 150.
Things aren't much better at home. "We really want to get to know Hump, but he's acting like he's miserable," Khloe laments. Wonder why. Minus 40.
"There's something in my relationship that I feel isn't right. I'm learning a lot of things about him that I didn't really know before. And married life isn't what I thought it would be with him." - Kim. Why rush to get married then? Minus 500.
"It's not normal to feel like you don't want to go home to your brand-new husband. Your dad and I were obsessed with each other." - Kris. First honest, heartfelt moment of the entire episode closes out the night with a Plus 250.
EPISODE TOTAL: -632. SEASON TOTAL: -3,801.