Kourtney & Kim Take New York Rekap: Kim Doesn't Give a Krap About Marriage

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Sunday on Kourtney & Kim Take New York, Kim Kardashian finally has hubs Kris Humphries living with her in the city ... but decides she has more fun when he's not.

Foreshadowing, anyone?

Kim, Kourtney and Mason drove on up Connecticut to "escape the paparazzi," leaving Scott Disick and Kris to their own scripted devices. How did that play out?

Find out in our weekly rekap, THG style!

Scott Disick, Kris Humphries

Kim and Kourt checking out Mystic, Conn., aquarium with Mason. Nice place. Plus 20.

Kris has been offered "some quick cash" to head up to Toronto and make a club appearance, so off he goes. Kim would be so proud/jealous. Plus 15.

Scott decides to join, saying, "I may go just to prove a point that I'm not whipped." Dude, the same girl let you knock her up twice with no ring. You're good. Plus 25.

"I may go just to prove a point that I'm not whipped," Scott warns Kris, who's having his photo taken with lots of girls ... on a REALITY SHOW. Minus 50.

"Humphries really doesn't need girls taking pictures with him. So whatever I could do to help out, I will to some extent," says Scott, ever the altruist. Plus 12.

Kim finds out where they are via Twitter, where someone says, "It's crazy up in here, Scott Disick and Kris Humphries just walked in." E! writer, probably. Plus 9.

Even Mason says that's bad. Plus 6.

Open Wide

Scott, after getting his fade on, can't wait to use the men's room and relieves himself in a garbage can. The man is the epitome of class. Plus 14.

Dun-dun-dun! Back in NY: "How would you feel if I went out of the country to work and didn't tell you?" asks Kim. Trick question: He could just read her Twitter! Minus 8.

"Part of me is not used to being married yet." - Kris. Don't get too used to it! Minus 15.

"I went because Kris was going and he asked me to go and I was here alone. You were gone. I was lonely," explains Scott, slightly more convincingly. Plus 5.

Just like that, Kim's off to Dubai for "work." Kris is aware of the trip, but not invited. Her real life partner, Kris Jenner, will be there instead. Minus 10.

Lucky for Kris, Khloe's in town and hoping to connect with him. At least that's what the producers told her when they flew her out. Minus 10 more.

Kourtney's number of sexual partners remains a mystery. What a tease. Minus 5.

Momager

"Everything in Dubai is so stunning," says Kimm as she gets escorted into a luxury suite at the Atlantis. "I'm so excited to be here." No one cares. Minus 30.

Kim gets an A-list star welcoming at the Millions of Milkshakes store opening. People are hanging off the rafters just to see her. So, so sad. Minus 70.

"This is just a pretty special moment." - Kim. Anything in which she gets attention and money qualifies. Sadly, marriage does not apply. Minus 100.

"I feel like I'm back to myself and I'm really enjoying this feeling." - Kim Kardashian. You know what they say about that one-month itch ... Minus 150.

Things aren't much better at home. "We really want to get to know Hump, but he's acting like he's miserable," Khloe laments. Wonder why. Minus 40.

"There's something in my relationship that I feel isn't right. I'm learning a lot of things about him that I didn't really know before. And married life isn't what I thought it would be with him." - Kim. Why rush to get married then? Minus 500.

"It's not normal to feel like you don't want to go home to your brand-new husband. Your dad and I were obsessed with each other." - Kris. First honest, heartfelt moment of the entire episode closes out the night with a Plus 250.

EPISODE TOTAL: -632. SEASON TOTAL: -3,801.

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yep gonna sign the petition, even the mother seems to forget she is not married to a Kardashian, She married Bruce Jenner and he is not KIMs daddy. I bet that dude feels like hump most of the time. They are all kinda icky anymore

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Kim is a disgusting human being! Sign the petition at boycottkim.com - they have 512,250 signatures so far.

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Seriously! This chick is getting MORE evil! How would SHE feel if Hump said he liked it better when she's gone? She took off with Kourtney for the weekend and left KH! Khloe keeps messing with him, puts a friggin SNAKE in his room. This guy is tolerating it.Question HIS actions? I'm no fan of his, but how can Khloe expect him to "open up" to her mean-spirited antics?! Why would you?? He even went to the zoo with them despite this. Since you're keeping tabs, make two columns and jot down all the bad stuff Kim (& fam) does and Kris does. You'll see that KIM clearly is horrific. She plays too many games and lies. Kris is an oaf, but how would ANY other man deal with this crap? They wouldn't.

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I kan’t kontrol my kontempt for this kontemporary konglomeration of kitsch klowns without a klue – kan we konklude that these kids haven’t got an ounce of brains between them? Mindboggling that these Neanderthals are making millions by existing as moron mental midgets in front of a kamera 24/7 – and the most outlandish part is how obvious it is that this ‘reality’ is at least two thirds scripted, or at least repeated and reshot for the cameras and the show. OY!

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I'm not a Kim fan but I don't understand all the hatred for just her. Kris was part of the equation in a big way too. There were two people in that marriage and they should both own their failures. It's clear that Kris definitely didn't make a real effort to keep the marriage together, either. He was rude, crude, and sometimes outright mean to Kim. He complains now that he felt shut out by the Kardashians yet he clearly made no real effort to get to know them individually. This marriage was a train wreck from the beginning. Actually, in one way Kim was smart to end it when she did rather than let it drag on and on like some Hollywood marriages. For those who think the marriage was a publicity stunt let's remember that if that's true then Kris is just as culpable as Kim. All we can do is speculate about what really happened between them because we weren't with them to see how they interacted off camera.

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Same crap here on Google News. When is Kims new p*rno going to be released?

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My opinion .....I think ALL THE KARDASHIANS R NOTHING BUT A JOKE...POOR BRUCE!!! Oh btw...Did ne 1 happen 2 c Kim on THE TALK!!? LIKE I SAID....POOR BRUCE!!!! WHT A JOKE

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the thing is Kim is a moron she's the one who who broke up kanye west and his ex girlfriend but she sits there and talks about being faithful when shes the hypocrite she don't even know the first thing about marriage and love i don't even think she has the ability to love cause she so self centered i use to like kim kardashian but the more i read about her in the papers and how she is i come to hate her she only thinks of marriage and her family as a paycheck and she will never find love she will think of every relationship as how much money can i make off of this relationsip

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and for years people had something to say about people who watched soaps...yet they watch this crap??? give me a break...ill take scripted drama over this chit anyday of the weak!!!! GIVE ME BACK MY ABC SOAPS!!!!

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Im sure Kris and Robert K were obsessed with each other, despite being in love at first site, she managed to cheat on him being married with kids. uh yeah .. that makes more sense then kim feeling in different towards kris, or whatever she is feeling and the minute annoyances she may have learned, as if she isnt annoying as hell herself! Give me a break. I havent even seen this episode and that recap did it for me!
(p.s.) this writer is hilarity!

Kourtney Kardashian Biography

Kourtney Kardashian Photo Kourtney Kardashian is the least known of the older Kardashian sisters. She's probably the best looking, though. Kourtney has never made... More »
Born
Birthplace
Los Angeles, California
Full Name
Kourtney Mary Kardashian