Kourtney & Kim Take New York Rekap: John Edward Contacts Their Dad, "Predicts" Kourt's Pregnancy

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Just when you thought Kourtney & Kim Take New York could not get any more insulting to your intelligence ... meet celebrity medium John Edward, everyone!

Sunday night, Kim really wanted to find some closure regarding the death of her father, and convinced her sis to join her in what was a "moving" experience.

The idea that this BS isn't scripted is about as believable as O.J. fathering Khloe Kardashian. A psychic? Really? At least come up with quasi-realistic plots, E!

Anyway. Here's our weekly rekap, THG style!

Kourtney and Kim Take New York Cast

Kris' sister, Kaela Humphries, is in town. Yes, Kris and Kaela. The names may have been the only reason E! kast Kris as Kim's husband initially. Plus 10.

Kim doesn't want Kaela to suspect anything's wrong. Plus 10. Kim's default expression is about as interesting as watching paint dry, so no issues there.

Oh, but wouldn't you know it, Kim feels like she needs guidance from her late father Robert Kardashian! And feels a psychic can contact him!! Minus 700.

Enter John Edward, who totally gets invaluable free advertising for this ridiculous stunt. Even the job description of "Celebrity Medium" is LOL-worthy.

"There's a lot that I've been going through, like emotionally and mentally, that I really think that I'll find comfort in connecting with my dad again." Minus 25 for a terrible job reading cue cards and attempting to sound spontaneous, Kim.

Kris thinks the idea is stupid. This is because Kris, for all his faults, is likely a real human being who does not believe every moment of one's life should be scripted, utterly humiliating nonsense. Plus 15, then Plus 10 more for storming out on her.

"There are definitely things that John Edward is saying that no one can possibly know," Kourtney says. Unless producers told him up front. Minus 20.
Kourtney Kardashian Pregnant Cover

Edward asks if one of them is pregnant. Kourtney recently announced she is pregnant again with her second child. Dude totally called the fact that Scott Disick does not use condoms! Talk about clairvoyance! Plus 40.

After questions about her previous divorce (with Damon Thomas) hit a little close to home, Kim breaks down to her sister. Wahhh. It's hard being Kim!! Minus 60.

"I honestly feel like I can't do this anymore with Kris," Kim cries. "I don't want to be married anymore." Anymore? It's been like a month at this stage. Minus 100.

Really Kim? How would anyone be sympathetic toward your motives or values, or buy this "moment of clarity" for more than two seconds. Minus 100 more.

Minus 50 more for Kim being famous at all. She does nothing.

But Plus 500 right off the bat for the existence of Scott Disick.

Yes, the guy is probably a huge tool in real life. But his plot lines and comments on KKTNY are getting so ridiculous, you can't even try to take them seriously anymore - a breath of fresh air almost from boring Kim and her fake feelings.

This week's "story"? Scott pushes for the couple to go and get a portrait done of their family. Plus 75, because we can actually see that narcissist wanting one.

Kourt and Scott Picture

To get around Kourtney's aversion to photos, Scott asks for it to be painted. "It really makes me feel good," Scott says of Kourt agreeing. Aww you guys! Plus 10.

Plus 10 more because he likely says the same thing about all the unprotected sex she lets him have without proposing to her. Keep it klassy Kourt!

Scott gathes everyone to unveil the painting, which just so happens to feature Scott with unibrow, thanks to Kourt kollaborating with the painter on a little prank. Minus 35 because if they sat for a portrait, he'd have seen it.

"That's not a funny joke," Scott says. "This thing meant a lot to me." He's really getting good at delivering his lines with just the right amount of faux indignation. Plus 17.

Kris gives Kourtney advice! And it's not terrible! Plus 12.

Scott and Kourtney decide to do a photoshoot, with Kim acting as their photographer. Guaranteed most boring, expressionless pictures ever. Minus 20.

EPISODE TOTAL: -401. SEASON TOTAL: -4,255.

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I wanna give a big shout out to Kim...Congratulations your marriage lasted ALL the way to your season finale!!!!!

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the person who wrote this story is very creative and witty. i enjoyed reading this. kim is awful (but she has alot of blind followers) the whole thing with the crying and explaining was most likely added after all the backlash. truth is she has no time for kris sister (or any other non atractive person) if there is no money or attention involved. nothing on the show is real except that kim does think she is a goddess.

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I wonder if all of the Kardashian supporters commenting on the above recap are, in fact, members of the family's marketing and PR camp?

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Wow.. way to just hate on someone who is living their life and not hurting anyone else.
The girl decided she made a mistake and ended it before too long. Wow.. what a concept.
Its her damm life, why should she stay in a marriage with a guy who , IMHO, is clearly not that into her.
He acts very immature and dare i say it, doesn't really seem to be of the heterosexual persuasion.
Watch him with an unbiased eye, on all the episodes he has been in and you will see, he never, ever
truly adored Kim. I don't care, if I am a young, lovely 21 year old or an older 71 year old bride, the man who is in a new marriage should be adoring of his bride.
Kim, this too shall pass and all these nasty, no-life having, hateful people will find someone else to hate on.

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Hey Media People: We, the Public, are SICK of you printing stupid news of your Cash Cows, the Kar-Trash-Ians! Please Stop!! PUBLIC: Please go to: BoyCottKim and sign the petition. Maybe if we get 1 million petitions the Media will finally listen!!

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Whoa, THG is getting some smack down for just a funny critique of the K&L show. Hey, it's all in fun, K fans! But I do have on question for you loyal K followers -- KK is a 31 year old woman who was previously married and divorced -- shouldn't she have learned from that experience, and the fact that she dated this Kris guy for months prior to the big wedding??!! After all, young people make mistakes (we all have), but we do benefit from those experience, mature and proceed to make sounder judgements in the future -- at least the smart ones do!! Just saying...

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And let me add....Kris is gross and I don't blame Kim for not wanting to be married to him. She really is unhappy so why stay married. She's not the first to find out it was a mistake and won't be the last. Nobody should stay in an unhappy relationship, it's not healthy for either one.

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Whoever wrote this just flat hates the Kardashians and shows thier immaturity with the minus and plus added to it. Scott and Kris all plus and Kourt and Kim all minus........get a life and stop being so damn jealous of them. Nobody says they have talent and nobody cares if they do or not. It's just a TV show they are in. Don't watch it if you don't like it. There are alot of shows that I don't like and I don't watch them. But I happen to enjoy the Kardashians. I'm 62 yrs old and I am as poor as you can be but I'm truely happy for this girls that they are making big bucks just being themselves and entertaining millions of people. I'd say that's alot of talent right there. You can't do that so your jealous..........grow up.

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I think Kim is sincere and Kris treated her badly before than even married. I'm glad she chose get get out of mentally abusive situation. JMHO

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Janet Wilson, You seem really angry at the fact that these women are making money off being TV stars. Granted their foolishness isn't always tolerable but no one is forcing you to watch, simply change the channel or turn your TV off all together, its as simple as that. Reality is that the Kardashian's are going to remain on TV and in the spotlight because people want to see them and their silly antics. Either get over it or move on its your decision. As a Undergrad student studying PR, the Kardashian brand is a money maker regardless to how many people dislike them. E! is going to continue airing shows with this family why? Because they are the highest rated show on the network right now. Before you judge others you should check your self like checking your spelling before you leave commentary on an article seen nationally! That is all!!!

Kourtney Kardashian Biography

Kourtney Kardashian Photo Kourtney Kardashian is the least known of the older Kardashian sisters. She's probably the best looking, though. Kourtney has never made... More »
Born
Birthplace
Los Angeles, California
Full Name
Kourtney Mary Kardashian