Kourtney & Kim Take New York Rekap: John Edward Contacts Their Dad, "Predicts" Kourt's Pregnancy

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Just when you thought Kourtney & Kim Take New York could not get any more insulting to your intelligence ... meet celebrity medium John Edward, everyone!

Sunday night, Kim really wanted to find some closure regarding the death of her father, and convinced her sis to join her in what was a "moving" experience.

The idea that this BS isn't scripted is about as believable as O.J. fathering Khloe Kardashian. A psychic? Really? At least come up with quasi-realistic plots, E!

Anyway. Here's our weekly rekap, THG style!

Kourtney and Kim Take New York Cast

Kris' sister, Kaela Humphries, is in town. Yes, Kris and Kaela. The names may have been the only reason E! kast Kris as Kim's husband initially. Plus 10.

Kim doesn't want Kaela to suspect anything's wrong. Plus 10. Kim's default expression is about as interesting as watching paint dry, so no issues there.

Oh, but wouldn't you know it, Kim feels like she needs guidance from her late father Robert Kardashian! And feels a psychic can contact him!! Minus 700.

Enter John Edward, who totally gets invaluable free advertising for this ridiculous stunt. Even the job description of "Celebrity Medium" is LOL-worthy.

"There's a lot that I've been going through, like emotionally and mentally, that I really think that I'll find comfort in connecting with my dad again." Minus 25 for a terrible job reading cue cards and attempting to sound spontaneous, Kim.

Kris thinks the idea is stupid. This is because Kris, for all his faults, is likely a real human being who does not believe every moment of one's life should be scripted, utterly humiliating nonsense. Plus 15, then Plus 10 more for storming out on her.

"There are definitely things that John Edward is saying that no one can possibly know," Kourtney says. Unless producers told him up front. Minus 20.
Kourtney Kardashian Pregnant Cover

Edward asks if one of them is pregnant. Kourtney recently announced she is pregnant again with her second child. Dude totally called the fact that Scott Disick does not use condoms! Talk about clairvoyance! Plus 40.

After questions about her previous divorce (with Damon Thomas) hit a little close to home, Kim breaks down to her sister. Wahhh. It's hard being Kim!! Minus 60.

"I honestly feel like I can't do this anymore with Kris," Kim cries. "I don't want to be married anymore." Anymore? It's been like a month at this stage. Minus 100.

Really Kim? How would anyone be sympathetic toward your motives or values, or buy this "moment of clarity" for more than two seconds. Minus 100 more.

Minus 50 more for Kim being famous at all. She does nothing.

But Plus 500 right off the bat for the existence of Scott Disick.

Yes, the guy is probably a huge tool in real life. But his plot lines and comments on KKTNY are getting so ridiculous, you can't even try to take them seriously anymore - a breath of fresh air almost from boring Kim and her fake feelings.

This week's "story"? Scott pushes for the couple to go and get a portrait done of their family. Plus 75, because we can actually see that narcissist wanting one.

Kourt and Scott Picture

To get around Kourtney's aversion to photos, Scott asks for it to be painted. "It really makes me feel good," Scott says of Kourt agreeing. Aww you guys! Plus 10.

Plus 10 more because he likely says the same thing about all the unprotected sex she lets him have without proposing to her. Keep it klassy Kourt!

Scott gathes everyone to unveil the painting, which just so happens to feature Scott with unibrow, thanks to Kourt kollaborating with the painter on a little prank. Minus 35 because if they sat for a portrait, he'd have seen it.

"That's not a funny joke," Scott says. "This thing meant a lot to me." He's really getting good at delivering his lines with just the right amount of faux indignation. Plus 17.

Kris gives Kourtney advice! And it's not terrible! Plus 12.

Scott and Kourtney decide to do a photoshoot, with Kim acting as their photographer. Guaranteed most boring, expressionless pictures ever. Minus 20.

EPISODE TOTAL: -401. SEASON TOTAL: -4,255.

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You peepz are jus jelous itz her lyf give her a brake poor kim

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I have to say.... when I first started watching the Kardashians, I wasn't too sure about Scott but I have to say he appears to be so down to earth, kind, funny, good guy!! I think he is a great match for Kourtney because she has a great sense of humor too. loving Scott!!!!

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PS...In that photo of Scott above...doesn't he look like the TIN MAN from the Wizard of Oz??? Seriously!

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This is awesome! I love the recaps! The only part it continues to miss is the fact that Kourtney is soooo mean-sprited! She is just a nasty little person. Scott is by far no catch, but at least he provides bits of humor in an otherwise "look at me" style show. Kris' sister was totally snubbed and WTF is up with Kim's makeup artist (the crazy looking blonde w/ the winged eyeliner)? SHE even comments to not tell Kris about stuff. SERIOUSLY? The people around Kim clearly do not care about her marriage (as Kourt didn't move the baby play area despite Kris' protests until he had to leave) and everyone is so self-absorbed that Kris eventually just tuned out. Sorry, but most men I know would have left right after Naked Yoga Man and gotten their own room.

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I was laughing sooo hard that Kim's forehead did not move when she was trying to cry , please girl lay off the needles !! I always have a funny feeling about John Edwards fits right in with the K-dash fake , fake , fake ....I do agree with one thing Kris is a d*** and has no respect for Kim the way he pats her head and doesn't give her a heads up on his sister coming !! He's a jerk and an overgrown man/child and she should of saw that coming !!

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Seriously... as a fan of the show and the Kardashians it is pretty irritating to read this article... It amazes me because if John Edwards were sitting accross from anyone else that reading would've given all you haters chills like it did us... the fans. I clicked on this article just out of curiosity but this will likely be my last visit here... and as someone who lost her dad and is always looking for a connection to him its very disheartening to hear how you guys are talking about them... obviously you have been truly blessed to have your parents still around. Real Classy!

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OMG This was the best one yet! Love this writer, I cant even add to it b/c its everything I thought when watching the episode!

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I THINK ITS SO DUMB HOW PEOPLE THINK IT WAS ALL FAKE, I MEAN WATCH THE SHOW AND YOU WILL SEE KRIS IS SUCH A DI**, IM SUPRISED SHE EVEN DATED HIM!!! PLUSS, SHE HAD ALREADY MADE A MISTAKE IN HER FIRST MARRIAGE, SHE SHOULDA KNOWN BETTER BEFORE GETTING INTO ANOTHER ONE. ANYWAYS, WHAT MAKES HER HAPPY SUITES ME (:

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To: Nichole J, Barbara and dear sweet Lilly
Wow! Where do I start? The Kardashians' represent all of society's ills in one family greed, narsicism, and selfishness. This is America and I totally believe in capitalism, however, when it infringe on others that's where I draw the line. I am not judgemental. If you have lived, you have made a mistake. Most try to learn from their mistakes. What I resent the most in this family are the lies. I have never seen a case, when a person lies about absolutely EVERYTHING. From the infamous porn tape to the countless amount of cosmetic procedures. The problem I had with the wedding is the fact that we have millions of people unemployed in this country and to display their ill gained wealth was vulgar. Money received in this manner is not a thing of envy but pity. I truly pity the Karshians' and their camp. They have proven they will do anything for money. So very sad!

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what a joke! trying to take attention away from the fact you're an airhead wow so your dead dad caused you to doubt your marriage nice

Kourtney Kardashian Biography

Kourtney Kardashian Photo Kourtney Kardashian is the least known of the older Kardashian sisters. She's probably the best looking, though. Kourtney has never made... More »
Born
Birthplace
Los Angeles, California
Full Name
Kourtney Mary Kardashian
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