Jersey Shore Recap: Vinny Guadagnino Bounces, MVP Now Just MP

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Despite being back in the Garden State, and not even two hours away from his beloved family, and despite having reunited with them during last week's Jersey Shore Season 5 premiere, Vinny Guadagnino just could not snap out of his "funk."

We feel for Vin in a sense. Sure, he is a total mama's boy. But coming home after filming Season 4 in the mother land, the cast was given NO time off to decompress. Thrown immediately back into the cesspool that is Seaside, anyone might lose their mind.

Come along as we break down last night's Jersey Shore, THG style!

Vinny Guadagnino of Jersey Shore Pic

The Situation reunites with an old flame. Who is actually pretty good looking. We really thought Sitch only threw himself on land mines and grenades. And Snook, who may be hydrogen bomb material by the gang's metrics. Plus 10.

Snooki and Ryder get caught in the rain. They do not like it. We're impressed they can even feel such things with a BAC perpetually over .20. Plus 5.

Unlikeliest bromance ever: The Situation loans Jionni some dry clothes, and in return, Snooki's BF cooks him late-night breakfast. LOL. Plus 13.

“We share a girl, we can share underwear,” he says. Revolting. Minus 5.

Vinny opens up to his boss about his struggles with anxiety. Aww. Jersey Shore after school special anyone? Mental health issues are important! Plus 7.

Please, though, can we drop the pretense that Danny is an actual boss and working at the Shore Store is a real job? These are celebrities now. Minus 18.

Pauly D burns his face after tanning too much. Yes folks, even Pauly D, the Grand Master of GTL, can overdo it when it comes to his craft. Minus 21.

During the MVP tanning sesh, Pauly also asked for Vinny’s name on his fingernails with a heart. Plus 4 because you know he's only half-joking.

Snooki admires her "Jionni" underwear. We have nightmares. Minus 37.

Deena makes the valid point about Snooki not showing her ass to everyone within a 10-square mile radius. Just be glad she wore underwear at all. Plus 5.

The roommates get ready for their first night back at Karma. That place can be a bitch, literally. It also feels like home to us after all these years. Plus 9.

“We’re going to go extra hard tonight,” JWoww warns. Was that in doubt? Plus 7.

Deena makes out with a man from her past. That could apply to approximately 2 million men nationally. Minus 6 because we feel the need to get tested.

Stealing Pauly's Chain

Snooki irritates her boyfriend after partying too hard. What a shocker. Minus 10, because dude, Jionni. Let us level with you. You are dating EFFING SNOOKI!

Told it would take an hour to have a cab get his hook-up outta there, Pauly tells the dispatcher she's dying. Plus 9 for trying. So wrong, yet so right.

Pauly D's hook-up yoinks his chain after a night in the smush room. Plus 15 for Snooki admitting that if she were in that hook-up's shoes, she'd do it.

The hook-up later returns it. Plus 5 for doing what's right, and securing more screen time on MTV in the process. Win-win for thievery and coming clean!

Ronnie tries to comfort Vinny after an afternoon on the boardwalk. Plus 8 for Ron going all Dr. Phil on us lately, but we don't think it's gonna do the job.

Plus 11 for lack of Sam-Ron drama so far this season. Give it time ...

Vinny and Pauly Hug

Vinny worries that he won't get "the rest he needs" in Seaside. Read: He can't handle the non-stop partying or his mom not coddling him. Minus 10.

In all seriousness, though, the guy is thrown off big time. Even Snooki begins to grasp the severity of Vinny's issues. Plus 12 for doing what he has to do.

No one wants him to leave. It's sweet. Good guy, that Vin. Plus 4.

Vinny and Pauly D share an emotional goodbye. Like any good bromance partner, Pauly was there to support his boy through and through. Plus 20.

And come on, he'll be back. Plus 20.

EPISODE TOTAL: +57! SEASON TOTAL: +96!

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Anxiety needs to be treated if it becomes an everyday concern. Mine used to wake me up in the middle of the night. It can get really frightening, and eventually debilitating if you let it go too far.
The Amen Clinic has done long term research and uses natural supplementation to balance out brain chemistry..rather than heavy duty anti depressants. IT's worth looking into... look on the web. help yourself, don't think you can talk yourself out of it. I have allowed it to take over 25 years of my life. It usually accompanies depression.
I feel for Vinny. Thank God he has a strong family support system .
For those of you suffering, you are not alone. Don't waste another minute. God bless you.

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Saw last nites episode and i have to say how bad i feel for Vinny....He truly is messed up right now, and i pray he will be back and feeling his old self again.....As for the Situation.....OMG give me a break....Can't stomach this dude.....i along with soooooo many people were wishing he was the one leaving and not Vinny......Anyhow, i hear next week he will be leaving too....i hope its true....Did anyone else but me notice that the Sitch truly sounds Gay when he talks????? Nothing wrong with being gay by the way, but the more i hear him talk, i am totally convinced that he is Gay....He is the biggest trouble maker ever....i still can't believe these runts actually get paid to do what they do on national tv......

Kellie-m

DAMMIT you got me all excited thinking Mike left the show after seeing him walk off on the after-show. Of course we all know he is too fame hungry to leave. Friggin douche bag.

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UGH.. more points off for even showing :10 airtime of the freaking pile of snitchuation .. for them to tease he is leaving is beyond stupidity. this dude is a freaking tool and only does this stuff for attention, and why would anyone want to be in the same room as him, much less be with him .. eww factor of negative 2k! who is he to bash on anyone, much less Vinny.. and throw in another negative 5k for having that other pile of poo 'unit less' in the episode. bet they throw him in as the new roomie for drama As for Snooki and the rest: love them! and I love how she told him off during the aftershow as well .. she was right: why would she admit to sleeping with Vinny to her boyfriend and not snitchboy? she would have, especially knowing that snitch is called that for a reason, no need to give him or his boytoy unit less any ammo on her .. and OMG! dump the disease filled friend ryder .. another negative 1k for having her on the episode taking up screen view too

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or maybe just maybe he is the only smart one and woke up to realize that the show is aweful and he thinks of himself not looking like a drunken party wasted person. I bet half of them have some kind of std's one time or another lol

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i also suffer from anxiety from time to time i think we all suffer from it in different times in our lifes i do wish vinny the best there nothing wrong with suffering from it and him leaving is the best decision until he get out of it i understand how he feels wish him the best of luck we love you vinny and support you =))

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I have suffered with anxiety since I was 22, maybe even before that in some small way, and I am now 31. So I completely get how Vinny feels and it is so hard to come out of it once it starts. So for him to seek refuge in what he knows will make him feel better was the best thing for him to do. makes me respect him even more.