Did O.J. Simpson Father Khloe Kardashian?!?

by at . Comments

A-ha! The puzzle has been solved. The National Enquirer has discovered he identity of Khloe Kardashian's father, and the answer is a killer:

O.J. Simpson!

Following the ridiculous, unproven rumor that Khloe is the product of an affair between Kris Jenner and a mystery man, this tabloid has now published an equally ridiculous and unproven rumor: that the former Buffalo Bills running back and likely murderer was that man.

National Equirer Cover Story

Scandalous! Khloe looks JUST like O.J.'s daughter, Sydney!!!

The cover story should actually come as good news to the family. It's given Kim Kardashian a chance to prove she's not a robot, as she actually made us laugh with the following Tweet in response to this report:

"It makes sense now. Khloe u are so tan!"

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It must be a slow News day at TNE. Instead of tramping on a young motherless Sydney Simpson and challenging the paternity of Khloe K., it should try to at least mention a true story like the fact that Orenthal James Simpson's house in Florida is being threatened with a Note of foreclosure. Instead of putting a picture of MTM on the cover looking like death riding on a lifesaver, would it hurt The National Enquirer's reputation as *responsible journalism to add the *fact that a woman of Ms. Mary Tyler Moore would absolutely Never give an interview to their reporters if it was the last media outlet available. The National Enquirer will always be okay when you are in the checkout line and your eyes glance at the latest tales of tabloid trash, but it will always be best to remember that the potency you feel in your evening cocktail is more believable than anything that will ever be **reported in The National Enquirer!

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The whole who is khole's daddy bs is another ploy to keep these grifters in the news and divert attention away from negative pr. Her father is the pimp's hairdresser Alex Roldan. Khole's middle name is Alexandra. The pimp has used Alex as her hair dresser for 30 years. The pimp banged a lot of people even Oj. Oj testified that he didn't care for the pimp though. What a slore.