The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: The Bachelorette, the Book and the Breakdown

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So are we all still in recovery mode after Taylor Armstrong's complete meltdown at Brandi Glanville's Malibu party last week? To see how The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills pull themselves together, come along for THG's official +/- recap!

NOTE: You can win a FREE Kooba purse ($500 value), courtesy of THG and Bravo by answering these questions about last night's episode! Follow the link to enter!

Meltdown? What meltdown?

Taylor's a little fuzzy on the details. Over lunch with new BFF Lisa, she mentions she was so drunk at the party she doesn't really remember what she said or did.

She seems content to put the blame on Camille and her over the top friend D.D.

A Taylor Armstrong Image

Lisa's take on all of this? Let's go to Vegas. Minus 8. Perhaps Vegas isn't the best destination for someone who has partied so hard they've blacked out. 

But a big Plus 20 because we witnessed Taylor eating something. The woman who takes skinny to a whole new level actually had some pizza! High priced, gourmet pizza but pizza nevertheless. Maybe a little more food and a little less alcohol will help stabilize her erratic moods. 

Speaking of food, Adrienne and Paul are doing a guest spot on The Doctors to talk about how a power couple maintains a healthy lifestyle. Off camera Adrienne calls Paul out for his unhealthy behavior. His idea of several small meals includes popcorn, candy and other junk foods. I like Paul more with every episode. Plus 7.

Adrienne Maloof and Paul Nassif

OK. Who invites their Mom to their Bachelorette party? That's just plain weird. Minus 9. Is this a Beverly Hills thing? But off to Vegas they go to see the Chipmunks, as Lisa calls them.

No, no. It's not the chipmunks but the Chipendales (if you have small children you really need to get those two straight). And after being introduced to cock socks and lap dance contests I think Lisa figured it out. 

As a matter of fact, Lisa won the lap dance contest. Who knew the stuffy Brit had it in her? Plus 12.

Over at the Palm we had a competing girls night out. Adrienne has Camille, Brandi, and Dana to her King Pin Suite. After a night of bowling in high heels they head to the club where Camille and Brandi are practically feeling one another up on the dance floor.

Did anyone else notice the strange guy trying to make his way in between them. Nice try, pal. Minus 6. Move along.

Camille Grammer, Brandi Glanville

Kyle can't make it to either party. She's got a photo shoot for her new book. What Housewife doesn't have her own book deal these days?

What's Kyle's book about? Well, Kyle of course. Isn't that what we all need in our lives, more Kyle? Maybe she'll have photos of her talent for doing splits at parties. Minus 10. I'll be sure to put it on my Christmas list.

Kim can't make it to Vegas either. There's a surprise. I think she's blown off more events than she's attended this season. Minus 5.

Just when I thought the night would be meltdown free, Kim is bawling on her sister's shoulder. Her kids don't like all the time she's spending with her new live-in lover and he seems more than a little controlling.  Perhaps Kim should have given family and friends more time to get to know him before deciding to move in. 

A Kim Richards Image

Kim can't stop the tears and Kyle's only more convinced she's with the wrong guy. Kyle's right about one thing. Kim needs to work on pulling herself together but the odds of that happening any time soon don't look good.

And that brings us to the end of another drama filled hour in Beverly Hills. I'm exhausted just watching.

EPISODE TOTAL: +1. SEASON TOTAL: -321.

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OMG! These women need a break from "taking a break"? Are they serious? Their life is nothing BUT a break.
Girlfriends need to drink less wine and do a lot less whinning.
Kyle. You're funny and friendly. Why do you feel the need to compete with Brandi and belly dancers?
Kim. She is doing the right thing.
Brandi-you are annoying and real. I wouldn't worry about my underwear if I was at a girl party unless Kyle was there.
Camile....you grew up.
Lisa. Pleezzze Lisa.
Andrianne...seriously. You are kind of mean to your hubby.He may be a jerk as a hubby but my best guess is that you are are equally annoying as a wife. Lighten up?
Having posted the above it really makes me wonder why I watched your show.

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OMG, Taylor is a hot mess. Can you imagine continually going out in public acting like that - with cameras, no less. She's disgusting. Kyle is a nasty witch, too. Her sister seemed to need her yet she was so stand offish to the point of being an ice queen. I LOVE Lisa. She is so funny. Way above the others. Her comments make me giggle all night.

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poor pandora she really needs glasses , those wedding dresses were a sight for sore eyes and why does she always go out in flower sun dresses she looks like an over grown pre-school kid. Lisa moves could use a little work and passing out on a chimpmunk always a classy move. Taylor needs to calm down , she never seen a nice ass before , did Russell keep her in the basement !! Brandi annoys me to no end , now she is trying to rub on Camielle and make friends with her tht's her way of making friends ...she is a loser and dana is a wannabe .... Kyle warned Kim about this drug user and Kim is sooo desperate she will go with anybody I hope she gets the help she needs and dump that creep...

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In this episode, Taylor tells Lisa that her 40th birthday was coming up. Didn't Russell have a 40th birthday party for Taylor last year?

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Well Kim, you need a controlling boyfriend/lover to get you the help you need.. You need rehab, which I understand you are currently in, but we all know it takes more than 1 rehab.. You should be ashamed of yourself for Berating Brandi when she called you out on your drug usage... I say we all stop watching these reality shows of the rich and famous, they have just as many issues as middle class, but they have all the means to correct their problems and issues more than we do.. Who can afford the rich Rehab resorts. Get clean Kim, and you women should remember when you were just like the middle class, quit being so rude and gossipy...

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Last season I thought this might be worth watching simply because all these women really do have money. This season is simply painful. I don't think I have ever witnessed a group of more selfish, self-indulgent and self destructive women in my life. They all disgust me.

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I am soooooooo tired of Taylor and her whining and melt downs! If I watch the show I turn off the
volume when she is on. Kim I somehow have more patience with.
These shows are bordering on soft porn - all of them. Not sure how far Bravo is going to go but
they have already gone too far, imo.

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I actually think she looks better without make up. At least normal anyway.

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Leo, I agree. They all have faces that have obviously been altered by plastic surgery. Why would you want to look like you've had work done? The funny thing is that none of them are even remotely pretty. Take the makeup off or tone it down, dress them down, they are average looking. Taylor is so unattractive. Those lips? To think she paid money for those. To be so obssessed and vain about your appearance is disgusting. When these women are dead, will it really matter what they looked like in life? No. It's how you live it and treat others. So sad.

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Please pardon me, but back in the day when people were to be brought into our homes via TV on a weekly basis, at least they looked like they belonged on TV. Even Josephine the Plumber, Mr. Whipple, and Mother Nature had the look to be on TV. However these BHH look like something out of creature feature, and Taylor Armstrong continues to look like something out of a wax museum.
P.S.
@ Free Britney:
Thank you for keeping us posted on these dismal damsels in distress. I just don't have the patience to watch a group of unhappy venom spilling wealthy women who live large and think small of each other as frienemies !!

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