The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Malibu Beach Party FAIL!

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In the dangerous lives of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, when you head to a party, you need backup. That said, we break down last night in our +/- recap!

First, back to Pandora's wedding extravaganza. Wedding planner Kevin was slightly less annoying this week but that may be because we saw so little of him.

I will give the man a Plus 10. He puts together one heck of a lovely table, but does he really need a million dollar budget to pull that off? I don't think so.

Pandora and Lisa Vanderpump

From there we head over to Kyle's where she's throwing a party to celebrate both Cinco de Mayo and mother-in-law Estelle's new face. Only in Beverly Hills can the two be combined and no one thinks twice about it. 

Estelle looks good but it's hard to tell how much was done from the before and after pictures since the before has no makeup at all and the after was taken in full hair and makeup. Minus 8 because I would have enjoyed seeing a more accurate comparison.

Everyone's talking about Brandi's upcoming party but the porn star tutorial is out and a belly dancing lesson is in. Apparently Lisa hasn't gotten the memo.

She tells Ken she's not going because she doesn't need a lesson on giving BJ's. Ken asks her to come home and prove it. Lisa's response: "It's not your birthday, is it?" Plus 10 because somehow it's even funnier with the British accents.

The Malibu party gets started, the wine starts to flow and before you know it Kyle is doing splits in front of the crowd. What's up with that? Didn't she do that at Pandora's engagement party? Minus 5 as her exhibitionist streak is getting old.
Brandi Glanville Nipples

Speaking of exhibitionists, Brandi's wearing a clingy white cotton dress with a thong and no bra. Honestly, if anyone can pull it off it's Brandi but Kyle's incessant comments about her nipples were getting a little creepy. Minus 8. If Kyle were a guy I'd be telling her to look up.

So Taylor brings Kyle along as backup because she feels so uncomfortable being around Camille since the tea party blowout. Perhaps she should have chosen a better wingman. 

When Taylor becomes overwhelmed and steps outside to get some, air does Kyle go to check on her ... no. Instead she calls attention to Taylor's absence and sticks her tongue out at her through the window. Minus 7. She was probably just trying to lighten Taylor's mood but instead it was the beginning of the end.

Who is the crazy red headed friend of Camille's? I know she's just trying to stick up for her friend but she's a bit of a nut. At some point you need to back off and shut up and Camille should have told her to do just that. For someone who claims to hate the drama, Camille certainly has very dramatic friends.

Instead the ladies swarmed an already fragile Taylor. Minus 10 to the entire crew. Everyone screaming and talking at once only made a bad situation worse. When Taylor finally snaps ... well it's not pretty.

Taylor Unglued

It seems that Taylor is terrified about what will happen when Russell finally hears Camille's comments. Instead of her focus being on ditching her allegedly abusive spouse she seems sidetracked on blaming Camille for her issues. It's simply scary.

Then Brandi goes and kicks Taylor out. Minus 15. That's just rude.

She could have at least separated the ladies and let them calm down, and I'm sure one or both of them would have left of their own accord.

So despite the gorgeous ocean views and the wonderful food, Brandi's party is a complete disaster. She cries that she only wants to fit in. Well, considering how well everyone else's parties turn out you may just be one of the crowd, but if she were smarter she'd run in the opposite direction.

EPISODE TOTAL: -33! SEASON TOTAL: -322!

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I enjoy Lisa very much. Kyle is a bully and seems to be very jealous of Brandi. Taylor is just plain weird. It saddens me to know she will profit off her husbands suicide, that's horrible. Other than catching a glimpse of Pandora's wedding, I won't be watching this show. You would think people with that kind of money would have some class and good manners, not so in 90210.

Marhoela pernito stevens

I 100% agree with Debra's assessments. Isn't it that these RealHvs shows have REALLY sunk to the level of 'pus that feeds on the pond scums' and Bravo is to held accountable.
In Re to TA's xtreme domAbuse excuse/s for her unbearable meltdowns, it's unfortunate that it only truly diminish ANY sympathies for her becoz SHE really, really should HAVE opted for clinical rehab instead of doing season2. Also, why does she INSIST on showing up to ALL invites for PARTAYs if she's 'uncomfortable' with Lisa and Camille? Greedy for TV exposure? She's not getting any 'feel sorry' from me!
Brandi did the rite thing asking her to leave with her bully backer, Kyle. She was classless outrite uncivilized to RUIN Brandi's plans for the nite.
All RH shows s u c k z. Moving on to better briter inspiring programs.

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This show is awful. Who cares about pandora's wedding,enough with that family. Kyle is a big bully. Taylor is doing anything for attention.

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Taylor is playing the victim for profit. She acts like she cares about her child's well being but it is obvious she only cares about bashing her husband and profiting from it. If she were truly abused and controlled she would not be on the show. She is a disgrace. Her book is a disgrace. That poor poor child of hers. It breaks my heart.

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I don't know how anyone can watch this show. Maybe it's like watching a bad car wreck, I don't know. These women are so physically unattractive with their plastic faces and big lips(Taylor's mouth can't get any bigger, ick.) There is nothing worse than seeing women their ages trying to look like young women in their 20's. It just doesn't work.

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OMG December. I so wish I had your patience & writing skills.

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Camille did tell her friend to back off a couple of times. Get your facts straight or watch it again to get false facts straight.

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My wife watches so I sometimes do too, but that was last year. this year without the husbands around it is too catty, trashy, and stupid. I know people in Beverly Hills and they moved away to Pasadena because of idiots like these. The old money does not live in BH anymore, just wannabees.

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i still like lisa and adriene but dont watch the show anymore just the recaps much better!

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I don't watch the show too much anymore. IT's like a bitter snipping women's show. Back stabbing little twits that really haven't a clue as to what friendship is. No need to break down which is worse. All but one seems to be as worthless as sneakers on an elephant. ;-)

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