The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Sheree's Law

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It's Tuesday and we're watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta? Is anyone else confused? Due to the special night, we thought perhaps this would be a very merry holiday episode, Atlanta style. Instead things got downright down and dirty.

Let's break it down in THG's +/- review!

Sheree Whitfield Pic

Bob's dragging Sheree back to court to reduce his child support payments. Reduce it to what, you might ask, since he hasn't paid a nickel in four years. Minus 15. You can't reduce nothing from nothing.

So Sheree hires Phaedra to represent her and the legal diva gives Sheree some advice. First is to have Bob hauled off to jail for failing to make his support payments for four years. Plus 10. Despite the current court case Sheree still has the right to hold his feet to the fire on that one but she backs down. She doesn't want to do that to the father of her children.

Minus 12, honey. He's got no problem bailing on his kids and he'd probably step over Sheree if she fell down in front of him. Isn't it past time to kick a little Bob butt?

Phaedra's second piece of advice is that Sheree not drive up in her brand new Porsche or wear her most expensive outfit. Sheree is aghast. What she has shouldn't matter and ideally she's right but it's not smart to ask for money when you're holding a $16,000 purse.

As Sheree is freaking out before court, Phaedra overcompensates, telling her how easy this case is going to be. Minus 8. Never promise anything when you head to court. Anything can happen.

In the end Bob used a stall tactic. He filed a contempt charge against his ex saying she took furniture that he should have gotten in the divorce. It's completely lame but it did the trick. They'll all have to go back to court once again.

Phaedra Parks Pic

Sheree blames Phaedra because she promised her so much and delivered nothing. Honestly I don't think there's much Ms. Parks could have done here ... other than not raise Sheree's hopes. And if Sheree had taken Phaedra's advice in the first place the deadbeat dad would be filing motions from a jail cell.

Kandi decides to update her sets for her web based sex show Kandi Koated Nights. The sets don't help much when your guests are sitting there texting while the show's in progress. Tonight's topic: How can women snare a pro-athlete?

Her guest host Charles Grant basically says women shouldn't act like hookers if they want to be treated like ladies. I'll give him a Plus 5 for his directness. Then Kandi wants to know how he want from NeNe to girlfriend Marlo who happens to be sitting next to him. Minus 8 to Kandi. I know she's looking to be salacious but it comes across low class.

Charles says he's never been with NeNe. Then Kandi starts prying into where Marlo got her money. I bet the couple was wondering why the hell they agreed to come on this tacky little show.

Oh, but Kandi did share her favorite sex positions with her audience. Isn't that something we all need to know. I'm guessing Kandi will be using her show to pimp her new line of musical sex toys. Sounds like a perfect fit.

Kim Zolciak and Son

After giving birth on Sunday's episode, Kim and Kroy take KJ home. I wish it all surrounded the cute baby. Instead we had to endure more talk about Kim's boobs, her father's breastfeeding jokes, why Kim's scared of her son's penis, her awe over baby poop and then we got to watch the dog pee on the floor. Minus 10. Good times.

Unfortunately for Kroy, Kim has yet to change a diaper and Brielle is more interested in being a teenager than helping out. Does this guy have any clue what he's gotten himself into.

Somehow, after all that, we're still stuck on the fact that it's Tuesday. Just doesn't seem right.

EPISODE TOTAL: -38! SEASON TOTAL: -133!

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The Real Housewives of Atlanta Quotes

[to Kenya Moore] You best hope nothing happens to me, because you might not have a job. I'm your storyline. I sustain your career . . . I built you, so stop playing games.

Apollo Nida

[to Kenya Moore] "You a sneaky, trifling slut."

Phaedra Parks