Kourtney & Kim Take New York Rekap: Khloe Plays Kounselor, Kris Starts to Krack

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The second, scripted episode of Kourtney & Kim Take New York aired last night on E!, and was most notable for the return of Khloe Kardashian, sage relationship kounselor.

It's all relative, of course, and kompared to Kim's bull$h!t marriage to Kris Humphries, and Kourt's ongoing problems with that douche Scott Disick, Khloe comes off like roses.

What advice did the visiting sister have for her siblings? THG breaks down Sunday evening's drama plus-minus style as we look for more signs of Kim's 72-day flame out:

Kourtney and Kim Take New York Cast

That didn't take long. Learning that Kim and Kris haven't even lived together, she tells her to go to Minnesota to visit him. Good advice, even if it was a lost cause. Plus 10.

Khloe tells Kourt to dump Scott if the feelings aren't there. Normally, a no-brainer, but she gets a lot of mileage out of him getting her pregnant every few years. Wash.

Kourtney heads to Scott's parents' house in the Hamptons, not knowing if Scott is even gonna show up. We imagine the giant camera crew following him knows. Minus 15.

Khloe has the nerve to wake Kim up when she's, like, so tired! Oh STFU Kim, no one cares. Tired from what, staging fake relationships, shilling for useless crap and being the human equivalent of watching paint dry on reality TV? Minus 90.

Kim calls Khloe "an ugly little troll" in a scathing email. BURN. Plus 3.

How bad to you want to punch Scott Disick? Minus 6 because we can't.

Khloe offered to have the big sit-down with Scott on Kourtney's behalf. Always a good sign of communication in a relationship - sending your rep/older sister. Minus 20.

Scott and Kourtney decide they're gonna make it work! Aww! Plus 13 because we are happy for Mason's sake, but Minus 25 because this was clearly all just filler.

Mason. Such a cutie! Plus 7.

Asses

As we saw on the Season 2 premiere, Kim and Kris pretend to be lame husband and wife for most of the weekend, which goes alright, until their living situation comes up. Life, always getting in the way of forced reality TV unions. Sucks. Plus 10.

He doesn't want to move back to New York (?!) and walks away. Plus 23.

Kim accuses him of "only caring about basketball." He's an NBA player! Say what you will about pro athletes, they actually have to show up and play, rather than just Tweet, put on makeup, read scripts or get tagged by Ray J for money. Minus 40.

"You don't want me to resent you, do you?" Kris says. Too late. Plus 9.

"It's tough to see my wife crying." - Kris. "I need a husband." - Kim. The story editors are pulling out all the pity party cliches this week, good to see. Plus 7.

When they show up in NYC, they have ASTONISHINGLY decided to crash with Kourtney and Scott again rather than get their own place! They're multi-millionaires! It's as if they are trying to make their marriage a total failure ASAP. Minus 50.

Kourtney: "The Hump is back." Good nickname. Plus 18.

Meanwhile, after the troll email $h!t is tense. "I'm so annoyed with Khloe that I'd rather ignore her altogether," Kim notes. Conflict resolution at its best. Minus 5.

EPISODE TOTAL: -151 . SEASON TOTAL: -210.

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Can all 3 girls please,please,please quit using the word "like". It comes out of all of their mouths at least 3 to 4 times in one sentence! It is so annoying and demonstrates their ignorance and lack of any kind of vocabulary or education! Here's a business tip for all 3, invest in a thesaurus!

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Out of the trio,i love khloe cos shes down to Earth,respects her marriage and Shes not all about sef like Kim and kourtney .as for Kim and Kris they are Both douch Bags cos they Jst couldnt make their Marriage work..khloe u rock!!

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I seriously cant believe how Kim could fall for someone like Kris. Hes an a**hole. He was only in it for the fame and most people are buying into His Im a nice guy act. Why? I just dont get it its plain as day we saw the way he treated Khloe on the wedding episode. How he put he down in front of kims intire family. Hes an a**! And Kim is stupid for jumping into marriage so quickly. I think she did it because she did want to be happily married. Just like Khloe and Lamar but who would of thought that was going to last as long as it has.

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O..M..G.. Kim's butt is sooo huge and Kourtney's second to her. Can the bridge hold the two of them?

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kim is trpin and kris is a cheater

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As much as I thought Kim was too good for Kris, I am having second thoughts! To me, Kris acts like a little kid with no filter on his mouth. He speaks before he thinks, just like a little kid would. However, after seeing how Kim talked to Khloe, I was disgusted. She should be mortified that they even aired that! No doubt she is beautiful, but that made her down right ugly! Kris referred to her as bratty, and now u can see why. Stop acting like a Diva Kimmy, because when your at the top there is nowhere to go but down!

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Why people see Khloe as a fat woman??? I mean if you look at Kim she looks way more heavier than Khloe....Khloe is just different from them...taller and light skinned, she is not that pretty from some angles but at least she does not wear a pound of make up every day and is more mature than her older sister and knows how to have a nice marriage and she is not all about her...

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Does Kim not look fat? Did anyone else see all the black she was wearing...-it didn't work Kim- I like Khloe and am very surprised Kim didn't edit out the whole e-mail thing. Gee what a terrible sister to wake you up to say goodbye. Witch. I'm not a Kris fan but he deserves a medal for dealing with her. I hope Kris gets his wish and can blab all about her fat butt.

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Anyone ever heard of Body Language Science? Look at the photo posted above of all 4 of them...Kris holding Kim, but Kim in a "me me me" stance. Kourtney touching Scott and Scott in a "me me me" stance. There's your sign people.

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This Scott guy should run like the wind & get away from this toxic 7 phoney family. Kourtney is the prettiest & probably the nicest BUT she is very demanding of this guy & very unrealistic. You can't change people you must love them for who they are.
Kim is grotesque now, she looks like she is made of WAX> & now that I read on another blog about that medical assistant who assisted in the Liposuction procedure on Kim's things, hamstrings & waist all to make her butt stick out more. All so she can say she NEVER had butt implants honestly. She didn't you see she just had everything around her butt liposucked to appear smaller in comparison. She also doesn't do Botox she does Dysport a similar face paralizer. Kim is a huge phoney who looks and acts FAKE. & Khloe is one of the ugliest, fattest people in Reality TV. I have neever seen so much overcompensation for feeling like the ugly, fat, hairlipped looking sister. Huge ugly gawky galloot with a crap ass personality! UGH. Scott RUN!

Kim Kardashian Biography

Kim Kardashian, Boobs Kim Kardashian is the ex-girlfriend of Nick Cannon, Reggie Bush and Ray J. She had intercourse on camera with the former, which is what... More »
Born
Birthplace
Los Angeles, California
Full Name
Kimberly Noel Kardashian

Kim Kardashian Quotes

So far, designing is the most exciting thing I’ve done... I have a vision of what I want [the clothes] to look like in my mind and it’s fun to see it come alive on paper.

Kim Kardashian

He just seemed very firm about the change, and that’s, like, his motto.

Kim Kardashian [on Barack Obama]
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