Kourtney & Kim Take New York Rekap: Khloe Plays Kounselor, Kris Starts to Krack

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The second, scripted episode of Kourtney & Kim Take New York aired last night on E!, and was most notable for the return of Khloe Kardashian, sage relationship kounselor.

It's all relative, of course, and kompared to Kim's bull$h!t marriage to Kris Humphries, and Kourt's ongoing problems with that douche Scott Disick, Khloe comes off like roses.

What advice did the visiting sister have for her siblings? THG breaks down Sunday evening's drama plus-minus style as we look for more signs of Kim's 72-day flame out:

Kourtney and Kim Take New York Cast

That didn't take long. Learning that Kim and Kris haven't even lived together, she tells her to go to Minnesota to visit him. Good advice, even if it was a lost cause. Plus 10.

Khloe tells Kourt to dump Scott if the feelings aren't there. Normally, a no-brainer, but she gets a lot of mileage out of him getting her pregnant every few years. Wash.

Kourtney heads to Scott's parents' house in the Hamptons, not knowing if Scott is even gonna show up. We imagine the giant camera crew following him knows. Minus 15.

Khloe has the nerve to wake Kim up when she's, like, so tired! Oh STFU Kim, no one cares. Tired from what, staging fake relationships, shilling for useless crap and being the human equivalent of watching paint dry on reality TV? Minus 90.

Kim calls Khloe "an ugly little troll" in a scathing email. BURN. Plus 3.

How bad to you want to punch Scott Disick? Minus 6 because we can't.

Khloe offered to have the big sit-down with Scott on Kourtney's behalf. Always a good sign of communication in a relationship - sending your rep/older sister. Minus 20.

Scott and Kourtney decide they're gonna make it work! Aww! Plus 13 because we are happy for Mason's sake, but Minus 25 because this was clearly all just filler.

Mason. Such a cutie! Plus 7.

Asses

As we saw on the Season 2 premiere, Kim and Kris pretend to be lame husband and wife for most of the weekend, which goes alright, until their living situation comes up. Life, always getting in the way of forced reality TV unions. Sucks. Plus 10.

He doesn't want to move back to New York (?!) and walks away. Plus 23.

Kim accuses him of "only caring about basketball." He's an NBA player! Say what you will about pro athletes, they actually have to show up and play, rather than just Tweet, put on makeup, read scripts or get tagged by Ray J for money. Minus 40.

"You don't want me to resent you, do you?" Kris says. Too late. Plus 9.

"It's tough to see my wife crying." - Kris. "I need a husband." - Kim. The story editors are pulling out all the pity party cliches this week, good to see. Plus 7.

When they show up in NYC, they have ASTONISHINGLY decided to crash with Kourtney and Scott again rather than get their own place! They're multi-millionaires! It's as if they are trying to make their marriage a total failure ASAP. Minus 50.

Kourtney: "The Hump is back." Good nickname. Plus 18.

Meanwhile, after the troll email $h!t is tense. "I'm so annoyed with Khloe that I'd rather ignore her altogether," Kim notes. Conflict resolution at its best. Minus 5.

EPISODE TOTAL: -151 . SEASON TOTAL: -210.

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Kim Kardashian Biography

A Kim Kardashian Selfie
Kim Kardashian is the ex-girlfriend of Nick Cannon, Reggie Bush and Ray J. She had intercourse on camera with the former, which is what... More »
Born
Birthplace
Los Angeles, California
Full Name
Kimberly Noel Kardashian

Kim Kardashian Quotes

So far, designing is the most exciting thing I’ve done... I have a vision of what I want [the clothes] to look like in my mind and it’s fun to see it come alive on paper.

Kim Kardashian

He just seemed very firm about the change, and that’s, like, his motto.

Kim Kardashian [on Barack Obama]