What do you do when you've had a falling out with your friends and your marriage is crumbling around you? Throw an over the top birthday party for your five year old, of course. At least that's how The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cope.
"The Great Divide" stretched from the disastrous Tea Party to a fifth birthday extravaganza and threw some expensive wedding planning in for good measure.
THG breaks it all down in our +/- recap below!
After Taylor insists the ladies be honest, Camille Grammer spews a little too much honesty for her comfort level. Camille drags the black and blue elephant into the light and talks about Russell abusing Taylor.
Taylor is shocked and furious. Minus 5. Honey, you wanted honesty and you can't expect people to keep quiet forever. But what's Taylor's way of coping? She suddenly clings to Lisa.
Whining like a pathetic school girl, Taylor says Lisa makes her feel like she's in junior high clamoring for the popular girl's attention. Minus 8. I beg you Taylor, grow up.
Then suddenly all is forgiven. Taylor started off this party by trashing Lisa and now they're hugging and teary eyed. Everything's resolved and Taylor's smiling. Minus 7. I'm with Kyle on this one. Huh? What the hell just happened here?After the party, Lisa's helping Pandora plan her wedding. Pandora's almost begging Lisa to come to Vegas for her bachelorette party. Seriously? What girl wants her mother at her bachelorette party? Minus 6 because that's just weird.
Plus 10 to Lisa who has the good sense to avoid going off to party with the 25-year-olds. Although seeing Lisa shoving bills in some guy's g-string at Chippendales might be funny enough to make it all worth it.
But there's been a major faux pas and I don't think Lisa even realizes it Adrienne's ticked. Pandora's engagement party is being held at Planet Hollywood. It's the competition to the property Adrienne's family owns. Adrienne is seething at the perceived oversight.
Truth be told, the party is being given by a family friend involved with Planet Hollywood. I don't think there's been any real snub here. Hopefully the ladies figure that out before too much damage is done.
Has anyone else had enough of wedding planner Kevin Lee? Minus 15 for subjecting me to this guy again. I will admit that the $150-a-piece Pandora's box themed invitation was unique but if Lisa doesn't want this wedding to get completely out of control she needs to put her foot down or this guy will spend every penny she's got and then some.
But on to the big party. Kennedy's fifth birthday party has about 200 guests and takes place at a ranch. Taylor says she wants Kennedy to experience more nature. Plus 5 just for laughs. Are there a lot of bounce houses, mechanical bulls, and stages out in nature?
Brandi joins the group this week and attempts to make conversation with Kim, who just stares at her as though she's grown two heads. Kim's not about to budge on her hatred of Brandi. Well, she did accuse her of being a meth head. That can be hard to get over. Then Brandi goes and whines to Kyle about it. Minus 6. Brandi's just going to have to let this one go.
Taylor and Russell throw on happy faces for the camera. Taylor even says she wants to try and save her marriage. Honestly they both seem more interested in making sure the party looks perfect for their audience. Minus 8 because Kennedy, the birthday girl doesn't seem all that interested in any of it.
Russell even snaps at Dana over the start of the musical act and how it might overshadow the entrance of his gift. The horse for the five-year-old was just ridiculous and sad. Minus 10. Given what we currently know about the family's finances, it wouldn't surprise me if it's long since been repossessed.
Ace Young, former American Idol contestant wrote and sang a song for Kennedy. I've got to agree with Brandi on this one. It was just bad. Really bad. Minus 12. I wonder how much American Idol losers cost for parties?
Knowing that Russell is broke, I can only imagine the stress that throwing this exorbitant affair must have caused. It makes the smiles on their faces even harder to stomach.
On a cheerier (and cheesier) note, tune in next week for Brandi's sex ed party. No. I'm not kidding.
EPISODE TOTAL: -62. SEASON TOTAL: -263.