The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Keeping Up With the Joneses on Steroids

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It's all about the parties on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills this week as the phrase "keeping up with the Joneses" is taken to a whole new level.

We break it all down in our +/- review as always:

But before we hit the Beverly Hills party circuit we head into surgery. You have to look your best in Beverly Hills. Is that why Kyle's mother-in-law Estella sees Paul for a facelift? 

Camille Toe

I have to admit I was almost as freaked out as Kyle. I can understand wanting to get a facelift but who wants to show off their face of the mummy after look to friends and family, nevermind on camera. Minus 7.  Yikes! That really looks painful.

Paul's silly phone calls to Mark Wahlberg didn't do much to boost my confidence in his surgical abilities. Minus 5. I know that surgeons probably do that sort of thing during long surgeries but honestly, I don't want to know.

From surgery we go to Taylor's awkward dinner party. I'm not sure which is worse. I thought they weren't going to show Russell this season. I guess I was wrong and it shocked me to see him sitting at the dinner table. Minus 20 for the change of plan.

The sharp contrast between Kyle and Mauricio's affectionate relationship and Taylor and Russell's tension is difficult to watch, especially when you know what's to come.

Minus 7 because Russell keeps saying he's not accusing Lisa of leaking the story to US magazine when in reality that is exactly what he is doing. I wonder if he ever got anywhere with his lawsuit.

Taylor plans on throwing Kennedy a Ranch themed party for her fifth birthday. It'll be a modest affair of 200 people and and $2,000 horse shaped cake. But this is her way of making up for Kennedy's fourth birthday party. I can't imagine what the party will have to be like for her sixth.

Lisa Vanderpumped Up

Pandora's engagement party quickly approaches and everyone is dressed to kill but Minus 10 to Jason. The shine off of that jacket could blind someone.

Lisa gives Pandora a $68,000 custom made necklace to remember that Mommy loves her. Ken asks, what happened to Daddy? He's paying for the wedding. Ken, in turn gives Jason a $21,000 watch. Cheapskate.

Plus 15 to Mohammad who said he'd go all out for Pandora's party and he wasn't kidding. The party includes belly dancers, snakes, and a camel. Unfortunately Taylor isn't very good with the exotic creatures can't even get through the door.

The mermaid is simply weird. Minus 9. I couldn't figure out if she was high or just that strange.   

Plus 10 because the Moroccan tent theme was kind of cool and Plus 8 to Taylor for realizing that the engagement party isn't the appropriate time to bring up the tabloid story. This isn't The Real Housewives of New Jersey. This is Beverly Hills.

Who was the whack job with Daddy issues that the ladies were talking to? Plus 7 to Kyle who comes right out and says how awkward this conversation is. 

Adrienne and Taylor

But apparently Kyle has quite the exhibitionist streak we didn't know about. Minus 8. What possessed her to get up on the table and give an acrobatic performance. I don't think Lisa meant for her friends to become part of the entertainment.

Paul earned a Plus 10 for complaining that the mattress in the secret sex room wasn't comfortable enough. I doubt that's the reaction most people have in there. Too funny.

We were free of Brandi tonight as she obviously wasn't invited and Kim couldn't make it.

But we did find out that Kim's got a big secret she's been keeping from her sister. Minus 10 for the buildup. I'll bet Kim's got worse secrets than this one. She's had a boyfriend for a year and hasn't told anyone.  Buckle up, big boy. I can only imagine this family's reaction once they hear the news.

EPISODE TOTAL: - 26. SEASON TOTAL: - 195.

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could the writer of these reviews PLEASE stop the plus/minus nonsense...it makes reading a bad article even more difficult.
that said...
indeed..a LOT of sniffing going on with kim's dude. also, if this isn't a clear explanation of why kim's behavoir has gotten increasingly bizarre...i don't know what is ...other than having a camera filming her doing blow. very sad AND dangerous, she is playing with fire. is bravo going to keep filming her in that condition until she dies? TERrible.
lisa is as snooty as they come, BUT she absolutely adores her children and it shows.
kyle (40 y/o) doing a split on the table? is this the kyle who was gobsmacked at a 4 y/o peeing on the lawn? hmmm interesting. a bit nauseating too.

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Kim does appear to be high/wasted a lot of the time. As a recovering addict I can see a lot of her using behaviors and playing the victim. It is sad to see her acting crazy and then accusing everyone else of bullying her. She and Kyle and the other cast members act like narcissistic high schoolers with too much money and time on their hands. It is like watching a train wreck. Do any of these people use their money and influence to help others?

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Kim's boyfriend may be a very personable guy but his looks sure take getting used to! I'm not trying
to be mean, but wonder if this is a Bravo stunt for reaction