The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Guess What? I'm Rich!

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The Real Housewives of Atlanta took a trip to Miami this week and set the town on fire! Well, not exactly. But we'll recap it for you regardless, THG +/ style!

After a solid Season Four premiere, this may have been the most boring trip for any of the Housewives franchises. NeNe takes Kandi and Cynthia down for some time in the sun and sand but there's little fun to be had. Minus 10 for a yawn inducing segment.

The funniest part is that it's more of a girls weekend than expected as Miami is hosting a Lesbian Pride event. Plus 8 because that's not what these ladies were expecting. This prompts a conversation about who is willing to bat for the other team. Neither NeNe or Cynthia are willing but Kandi says she's open to it, but just sex, not a relationship.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Cast

But Kandi is really focused on finding NeNe a new man. Minus 10. Does anyone remember that she's still married? I know she's separated but that doesn't mean divorced. What's the rush?

As we rehash last week's NeNe / Sheree fight, as I'm sure we will for many weeks to come, Kandi wants to know if NeNe really told Sheree she was rich. "I told her I'm rich. Guess what? I am." 

NeNe can't stop flaunting her newfound wealth but can she really afford that $9 million pad in Miami? Minus 7. This girl needs to slow down before she can no longer tell people how rich she is.

Phaedra's continuing to follow her new passion for dead people. Not surprising her husband questions this new interest. Plus 5 for someone having some sense. She wants him to be a part of her venture. Perhaps he can pick up the dead bodies or learn to be an embalmer. Ah, no.

But Phaedra's on a roll and visits funeral home director Willie Watkins to pick his brain. He stresses having compassion for the families, making sure her heart is in it, and learning all she can about the business. Phaedra's response? She's a master at "getting some money." Minus 10. Not quite the lesson he was hoping to get across.

My question is when does Phaedra find the time to actually be a lawyer? It seems she currently believes that being the Saks Fifth Avenue of the funeral business will be more exciting, or at least make her more cash.

As Kim says, Where the f**k did this interest in funerals come from. One word, honey. Money.

Kim Zolciak Pregnancy Photo

It's Kim's 33rd birthday and it's not quite all she's hoped for. Being nine months pregnant means there's no tequila shots this year and she spends most of her day running to pee.

Kroy steps up to make it better. First he showers her with a $22,000 chocolate diamond bracelet she's been coveting and then he throws her a surprise party with all of her girlfriends. Plus 10.

But Kim and Kroy might want to talk about their future and their child raising expectations. Kroy's dream is to move back to Montana at the end of his career and open an outdoor hunting business.

He even plans on getting his son his first gun and showing him how to hunt. That part shocks Kim but honey, the boy's from Montana. Minus 5. This really shouldn't be a surprise.

When the ladies prompt Kroy about being ready for fatherhood he responds that he's already a father and motions to Kim's girls. Plus 8. That's seriously sweet but the bigger question is when is he going to make this thing legal and marry his very pregnant girlfriend?

When asked, he mutters something about scheduling issues. Bull. Kim's having his baby and he's parenting her girls. Those are big steps. Why not a ring? Hopefully we'll get an answer to that question before the season ends.

[THG NOTE: He stepped up! Kim Zolciak and Kroy Biermann wed on 11/11/11!]

EPISODE TOTAL: -11! SEASON TOTAL: +26!

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ALL of you need desperately to go to the gym on a daily basis.
And......Kandi, please NEVER wear another bathing suit. You look AWFUL with those whoppy thighs. I think you and your mom are sex crazy; that's why you are the least likely of the housewives to get any kind of MAN! NeNe, now that YOU CLAIM to be rich, can you get some braces of those HORSE teeth? especially the lower ones. You look like the twin to Eddie Murphy's brother.

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Every single person I have seen on this show just seems...fake. Like they wish they had something and can't have it. So they steal it. I think it is really sad.

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i agree with yall on that

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Too bad too because I was kind of interested in the rest of the cast. But the minute NeNe opened her (his?) mouth it was like sharp fingernails across a blackboard. You don't really hear the words...only the shrill, deafening, skin-cringing noise of someone who is trying to be someone that money can't buy.
Girlfriend needs some therapy or else she needs to cut her nails.
Either way, she has ruined Atlanta housewives for this viewer-and I suspect-many others.

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The worst, nene, is always the loudest, look at Jackie, another one, on HWOLA.

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I am so glad that people are starting to see neNe as I see NeNe, as a screeching bully. remember how it all started when Kim and NeNe were still friends and she made fun of her singing at the dinner with Lisa and company? She is the hater creator.

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i hate this show, and know what? I really love everything that has to do with people and riches, but this show is just not well done. You need to change the picture, the speed, the themes, the looks(!), the titles, the atmosphere, it just ....s*****

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I agree. NeNe is ghetto-fabulous-really annoying. I quit watching the show because all her screetching, fighting, and bragging was just over the top. Girl needs to chillax.

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NeNe is wearing on me. I thought she was the most cowardly contestant ever on Celebrity Apprentice. She walked off like a coward because it was too hard and because she was afraid to be fired. She makes nasty personal attacks on everyone so she's the hater creator. NeNe used to be funny and a favorite but now she's slowly killing the show. Too bad her head got so big.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Quotes

[to Kenya Moore] You best hope nothing happens to me, because you might not have a job. I'm your storyline. I sustain your career . . . I built you, so stop playing games.

Apollo Nida

[to Kenya Moore] "You a sneaky, trifling slut."

Phaedra Parks