The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season Finale Recap: Portrait of an Absurd Italian Family

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It's been a long season for our Real New Jersey Housewives and our season finale is finally here. THG breaks it all down in our + or - review ...

It's family photo time as the Gorgas and the Guidices decide to do a group family portrait with the Gorga's parents. It's a lovely idea and starts us off with a Plus 10

I know the man isn't well but does Poppa Gorga always have to come off as such an old grump. Minus 5. Not much seems to make this man smile.

Melissa Gorga Fashion

Joe tries to make his father feel better by offering him a drink and you've got to love little Gia. "No, no. Drinks don't make him feel better." Plus 7 to the little girl for speaking up.

The kids are adorable. Melissa and her family show up in a sea of leopard print coats. Joe Gorga says he'd love another little girl. He'd name her Jovina, after himself. (Insert eye roll here.) Plus 5 because despite the huge ego, it's almost kind of cute.

In other news, Ashley gets a reprieve. Chris relents and says he can't kick her out. His brother, Jamie comes to visit Ashley and says he loves her but she's lazy.

And I had to laugh at his advice about not telling guys about her Swallow tattoo. Plus 8. So funny. Plus I don't think Chris could have looked more uncomfortable if he tried.

On the downside we find out at season end that nothing has really changed. Ashley still lives at home and has no job. She's still a party girl. Oh, but she has legally changed her name from Ashley to Ashlee. Really? What ridiculous nonsense is this?
Talk to Caroline Manzo

The bigger question ... who paid for it? Yup, her mom is right. The Princess is still in the castle. Nothing has changed for Ashley except her name. Minus 11.

Over at Kathy's we find her and Rich sending Victoria off to her formal dance with boyfriend Paulie. Kathy's shedding tears as her daughter grows up but Richie keeps insisting his daughter will remain a virgin until she's married. Minus 6 for having his head in the sand.

Teresa's next book comes out and it reads more like a gossip rag than a cookbook. Her introduction seems to bash the other housewives, especially Caroline. Teresa claims Caroline is as Italian as the Olive Garden and is only 1/16th Italian.

Who did that math? Greg quips that maybe it was their accountant. Plus 9 to Greg for having the best line of the night.

Teresa claims it's all a joke but no one seem so to be getting it but her. Just when you think it can't get worse, she bashes Caroline's son Chris for his stripper / car wash venture. Minus 12. I'm with Caroline on this one. Why take a shot at her kids? Mrs. Manzo certainly isn't going to let that one go easily.

Skinny Italian

Before the night closes out we learn that due to fraud charges, Joe Guidice has abandoned his bankruptcy filing. Are Teresa's books really making enough to pay off their millions in debt and continue their lavish lifestyle?

And in the biggest reveal we learn that Melissa's son Joey celebrated his first birthday but Teresa did not attend. Minus 7 for not giving us any back story on that but it does whet the appetite for season four.

EPISODE TOTAL: -2! SEASON TOTAL: -74!

The season may be over but the fun continues. Don't forget to tune in for The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion show next week where the dirt will surely fly.

What did you think of the finale? Comment below!

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