The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season Finale Recap: Portrait of an Absurd Italian Family
by Free Britney at .It's been a long season for our Real New Jersey Housewives and our season finale is finally here. THG breaks it all down in our + or - review ...
It's family photo time as the Gorgas and the Guidices decide to do a group family portrait with the Gorga's parents. It's a lovely idea and starts us off with a Plus 10.
I know the man isn't well but does Poppa Gorga always have to come off as such an old grump. Minus 5. Not much seems to make this man smile.
Joe tries to make his father feel better by offering him a drink and you've got to love little Gia. "No, no. Drinks don't make him feel better." Plus 7 to the little girl for speaking up.
The kids are adorable. Melissa and her family show up in a sea of leopard print coats. Joe Gorga says he'd love another little girl. He'd name her Jovina, after himself. (Insert eye roll here.) Plus 5 because despite the huge ego, it's almost kind of cute.
In other news, Ashley gets a reprieve. Chris relents and says he can't kick her out. His brother, Jamie comes to visit Ashley and says he loves her but she's lazy.
And I had to laugh at his advice about not telling guys about her Swallow tattoo. Plus 8. So funny. Plus I don't think Chris could have looked more uncomfortable if he tried.
On the downside we find out at season end that nothing has really changed. Ashley still lives at home and has no job. She's still a party girl. Oh, but she has legally changed her name from Ashley to Ashlee. Really? What ridiculous nonsense is this?The bigger question ... who paid for it? Yup, her mom is right. The Princess is still in the castle. Nothing has changed for Ashley except her name. Minus 11.
Over at Kathy's we find her and Rich sending Victoria off to her formal dance with boyfriend Paulie. Kathy's shedding tears as her daughter grows up but Richie keeps insisting his daughter will remain a virgin until she's married. Minus 6 for having his head in the sand.
Teresa's next book comes out and it reads more like a gossip rag than a cookbook. Her introduction seems to bash the other housewives, especially Caroline. Teresa claims Caroline is as Italian as the Olive Garden and is only 1/16th Italian.
Who did that math? Greg quips that maybe it was their accountant. Plus 9 to Greg for having the best line of the night.
Teresa claims it's all a joke but no one seem so to be getting it but her. Just when you think it can't get worse, she bashes Caroline's son Chris for his stripper / car wash venture. Minus 12. I'm with Caroline on this one. Why take a shot at her kids? Mrs. Manzo certainly isn't going to let that one go easily.
Before the night closes out we learn that due to fraud charges, Joe Guidice has abandoned his bankruptcy filing. Are Teresa's books really making enough to pay off their millions in debt and continue their lavish lifestyle?
And in the biggest reveal we learn that Melissa's son Joey celebrated his first birthday but Teresa did not attend. Minus 7 for not giving us any back story on that but it does whet the appetite for season four.
EPISODE TOTAL: -2! SEASON TOTAL: -74!
The season may be over but the fun continues. Don't forget to tune in for The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion show next week where the dirt will surely fly.
What did you think of the finale? Comment below!
Related Stories
-
New Breaking Amish Cast: Revealed! -
The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Keeping It Classy
-
The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Let's Get Real
Comments (22 Total)
Its funny how teresa gets all pissed if someone says something about her whiney little brat kids but she can critisize someone elses in print. At least Caroline's kids have goals for the future. With Teresa for a mom those girls dont have much to look up to.
i feel for teresa but the main thing i would say she needs to watch out for is people like caroline manzo who all of a sudden is not her friend but has been kissing up to her and pretending to be for 2 yrs by her own admission and for what ..so that she can meddle in all her personal affairs and give out her good for nothing advice..and to jacqueline laurita..she better watch out too..caroline will turn on her the same way..oh she was willing to give teresa all the credit for jacqueline not appearing on the finale show but not without taking a stab at her mental ability to handle it..ashley is giving her all the abuse anyone can handle..how are we to know that caroline is not the reason that jacqueline stayed away..she certainly influences her more than teresa..no matter the reason ..watch out jacqueline..look how completely she turned on teresa..and for melissa and cathy ..teresa's family members who have been nothing but nasty and backstabbing to teresa since they appeared..
Jim, did you seriously say the daughter is an easy lay for your son??? I am sooo disgusted by that.
I have been a fan of this show from the beginning, and find so very sad that a family and "close" friends have been totally torn apart due to fame going to everyone! I don't know if being a fan is something I want to claim any longer due to the fact I could be one of the reason's it is all going to the crapper, I crave all the drama, and feel relieved when I wath the show that I do not have those kind of problems in my life. Maybe reality television is more to blame for all kinds of problems than I myself am willing to admit. Then the part of me that loves reality television thinks, well they knew what they were signing up for...or did they? So I guess I will stay confused and on the edge of my seat each week just to see what happens to all the housewives, continue to butt into their lives as it is so much more exciting than mine...is that sad or what???
Enough about Gia! She is a little kid who is hurting. Why bash her? She is probably the only genuine person on the show. Hands off the kids who can't choose for themselves. Gia sang one of the saddest and most honest songs I have ever heard and her deluded Momma kept telling her not to cry. Why? She has good reasons to cry.