The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: An Inconvenient Truce

by at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey continued their Punta Cana vacation this week and THG breaks down their ridiculous adventure in our +/- recap!

Teresa does yet another wardrobe change donning a gold cut out bathing suit resembling a superhero. This entire trip is Teresa's own private fashion show and that might be mildly entertaining if Teresa and Kathy could shut up about their fight. Minus 8 because I'm just as tired of hearing about it as Caroline.

Teresa Giudice Cleavage

Despite that the rest of the crew seem to be getting along quite well. Plus 7. The two Joes try to decide which of them is shorter. When their height appears about even they attempt to up the stakes by whipping it out and seeing who is really the bigger man. Everyone gushes that it's just like the good ole days. Plus 10 for the drunken group hug.

Why can't Joe Gorga keep his pants on?  First he's flashing the Manzo boys when they show up to go golfing. Then he's mooning them on the golf course. Plus 5 for the technology that allows the show to block out the graphic details. No one needs to see that.

Plus 10 to Albert. He's the only real golfer in the bunch and he'll take it as a personal favor if none of these idiots ever sets foot on a golf course again.

Teresa decides her next project will be an Italian / Latin fusion cookbook and she drags the ladies along to a local market. They're all shocked to find that they have to see actual animals at the market, not just pieces of meet under plastic wrap. Minus 3.

Of course the cow heads weren't nearly as disturbing as the fact that Teresa didn't know the difference between semolina and salmonella. Minus 8. I don't think I want Teresa Giudice cooking my food.

The Manzos hold a Punta Princess Pageant over dinner. Teresa wins the style points for looking so put together despite losing a suitcase. Since she only brought nine of them with her, I don't think the loss of one was a huge handicap. Kathy wins for creativity for her jewelry. Then we get down to the fun category, intellect ...
Family Dinner

First question: who is the Vice President of the United States? I could hear the crickets outside as these women stammered to come up with an answer. As if that wasn't bad enough, did you know that Cairo is in Anartica? Minus 15. I knew they weren't brain surgeons but I honestly didn't realize the level of stupidity we were dealing with here.

Teresa's bag finally shows up as they are all about to leave. An additional Plus 10 to Albert who quips, "Being in Hell without you people would be a f**king vacation." Amen.

Back in Jersey we have the Black Water launch party. Does anyone else want to know why the water is black? 

Anyway Melissa is singing and she actually seems to do pretty well so Plus 7 for working towards her dream. Minus 8 to Joe for wanting live tigers at the club. 

And was that Teresa talking about someone else's cleavage being on display. Wow. Does she look in a mirror before she leaves the house. I know those breasts were a serious financial investment so I can't blame her for showing them off but I think that takes away her right to comment on her sister in law doing the same thing. Minus 3.

We're finally up to the season finale last week. We'll see if the Housewives end the season better than they started it. One can only hope.

EPISODE TOTAL: +4. SEASON TOTAL: -72.

Tags: , , , , ,
Like Us On Facebook

More From The Hollywood Gossip

Tamra-barney-ryan-vieth-sarah-rodriguez

The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 9 Episode 14 Recap: Who's Getting Married?

On The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 9 Episode 14, someone announced they're getting married. Who?
Teresa-giudice-on-season-6

Teresa Giudice to Be Fired From The Real Housewives of New Jersey Over Andy Cohen Feud?!

Teresa Giudice may soon be fired from The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Sources say Bravo execs are tired of the star's diva-like behavior.
The-real-housewives-of-new-jersey-new-season-6-cast-photo

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 6 Episode 2 Recap: Happy Holidoze

On The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 6 Episode 2, the drama we saw in the premiere was largely absent.
Teresa-giudice-confused

Teresa Giudice: Pissed at Andy Cohen Over Sentencing Comments!

Teresa Giudice is feuding with Bravo president Andy Cohen. Teresa feels Cohen's comments about her legal troubles are out of line.

Avatar

I miss the good old Jacq I loved...and Caroline...well... I could stomach her. Nothing lost on her. Nothing lost with her boring storyline either. Melissa Gorga was such a good choice for that family (sarcasm).

Avatar

Did anyone else notice Joe Gorga with a bong on the beach towards the beginning of the episode?

Avatar

No matter how she spells it: Ashley or Ashlee needs a kick in the butt. No job, no school, living off your parents while treating them like dirt. They are not helping her at all but, enabling her to be a disrespectful, lazy, entitled, bum. Theresa: are you kidding? Insulting family & friends is not ever considered funny & you are no Lucille Ball. You should watch the episodes to observe how immature, jealous, bitchy, rude, & egotistical you appear to be. You owe the people who have supported you an apology!

Avatar

Somebody punch teresa please! She is an ugly bitch that thinks she's better than anyone else,jealous witch!! ashley is a spoiled brat her mom and everybody.... everybody needs to let her fall on her face and see what happens then you unrespectful bitch!!!Jacqeline is the only real one on that show, and Mylissa and Kathy r great!Sometimes I like Caroline and sometimes she is too bossy! With everyone not only her family! chill Caroline and u will be fine! Ive never wanted to comment on anyone like with these women, more tersesa and ashely they really get under my skin an deserve no respect!!!! luv Andy too!

Avatar

Listen, Theresa is good TV, gorgeous, and i wish I had her guts....she'll make it to the top, you'll see!

Avatar

The show used to be ok to watch but Teresa is stupid and her kids are awful where is the parental guidance to make these girls have some manners and Caroline and Jacquline are right to leave the show, the others are so stupid and these 2 are nice ladies

Avatar

I hope Bravo is paying Teresa well for her acting. It must be as no one could really be that stupid. And good mother, spank those kids fanny.

Avatar

This show is now boring and ridiculous. Theresa and her husband are sickening. I'm tired of hearing this ugly, middle-aged woman try and make everyone think she is something. The way they talk about having sex all the time is horrible. Just the picture of the two of them makes me ill, him with those huge man boobs. I don't like them at all. theresa is so jealous of everyone else and the fact they have more money than she does. Caroline's sons are just stupid dorky nerds. What the hell are they doing going on vacation with mommy and daddy at their ages? They act like 8-year-olds. No wonder neither of them ever has a girlfriend. I suspect one of them is gay. The rest of them - whatever. I can't stand Caroline and her manipulating bossy ways. I don't understand why they all went on vacation together. No one appeared to be having any fun, except Theresa who tried ot make it all about her. Bravo, this show is plain CRAP!

Avatar

Can someone please tell me what kind of dress Teresa has on? the pink sundress. I love it. Thanks :)

Avatar

And I remember the day in the past when some comic was kicked off the telly for saying 'WC' (water closet, a.k.a. toilet) What a sad level this 'entertainment' medium has reached. At least the 4 most obnoxious offspring were missing. Thanks for small favors.