The Real Housewives of New Jersey continued their Punta Cana vacation this week and THG breaks down their ridiculous adventure in our +/- recap!
Teresa does yet another wardrobe change donning a gold cut out bathing suit resembling a superhero. This entire trip is Teresa's own private fashion show and that might be mildly entertaining if Teresa and Kathy could shut up about their fight. Minus 8 because I'm just as tired of hearing about it as Caroline.
Despite that the rest of the crew seem to be getting along quite well. Plus 7. The two Joes try to decide which of them is shorter. When their height appears about even they attempt to up the stakes by whipping it out and seeing who is really the bigger man. Everyone gushes that it's just like the good ole days. Plus 10 for the drunken group hug.
Why can't Joe Gorga keep his pants on? First he's flashing the Manzo boys when they show up to go golfing. Then he's mooning them on the golf course. Plus 5 for the technology that allows the show to block out the graphic details. No one needs to see that.
Plus 10 to Albert. He's the only real golfer in the bunch and he'll take it as a personal favor if none of these idiots ever sets foot on a golf course again.
Teresa decides her next project will be an Italian / Latin fusion cookbook and she drags the ladies along to a local market. They're all shocked to find that they have to see actual animals at the market, not just pieces of meet under plastic wrap. Minus 3.
Of course the cow heads weren't nearly as disturbing as the fact that Teresa didn't know the difference between semolina and salmonella. Minus 8. I don't think I want Teresa Giudice cooking my food.The Manzos hold a Punta Princess Pageant over dinner. Teresa wins the style points for looking so put together despite losing a suitcase. Since she only brought nine of them with her, I don't think the loss of one was a huge handicap. Kathy wins for creativity for her jewelry. Then we get down to the fun category, intellect ...
First question: who is the Vice President of the United States? I could hear the crickets outside as these women stammered to come up with an answer. As if that wasn't bad enough, did you know that Cairo is in Anartica? Minus 15. I knew they weren't brain surgeons but I honestly didn't realize the level of stupidity we were dealing with here.
Teresa's bag finally shows up as they are all about to leave. An additional Plus 10 to Albert who quips, "Being in Hell without you people would be a f**king vacation." Amen.
Back in Jersey we have the Black Water launch party. Does anyone else want to know why the water is black?
Anyway Melissa is singing and she actually seems to do pretty well so Plus 7 for working towards her dream. Minus 8 to Joe for wanting live tigers at the club.
And was that Teresa talking about someone else's cleavage being on display. Wow. Does she look in a mirror before she leaves the house. I know those breasts were a serious financial investment so I can't blame her for showing them off but I think that takes away her right to comment on her sister in law doing the same thing. Minus 3.
We're finally up to the season finale last week. We'll see if the Housewives end the season better than they started it. One can only hope.
EPISODE TOTAL: +4. SEASON TOTAL: -72.