Michael Lohan Ordered Not to Stalk, Whack Kate Major

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Kate Major has convinced a Florida judge that Michael Loahn poses such a threat - he has allegedly threatened to "whack" her - that he's been restrained indefinitely.

Major, who used to be engaged to Lohan and has made similar claims about him in the past, only to retract them, says Lindsay Lohan's dad is also harassing her.

Incessant phone calls and texts, threatening to "ruin her career" (whatever that consists of), the works. Michael must now stay at least 500 feet away from Kate.

Kate Major, Michael Lohan

Happier times in between violent, ridiculous fights.

The judge also declared, hilariously, that Michael Lohan can't have Kate or her father followed by hired muscle. He also is prohibited from phoning or texting her.

MiLo, who has TMZ on speed dial we're guessing, quickly responded on the celebrity news site: "This is just another way of Kate trying to make money."

Not sure how that works exactly, but sure thing Mike.

[Photo: Pacific Coast News]

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MAYBE HE SHOULD HAVE WHACKED HIS DAUGHTER MORE, WHEN SHE WAS A KID. SHE'D BE LESS OF A SPOILED BRAT.

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omg! These fools will do anything for airtime!!! Quit giving it to them PLEASE!

Michael Lohan Biography

Lohan, Michael It's a close race between Michael Lohan and Jon Gosselin for the world's worst celebrity father. In terms of making the argument for... More »
Full Name
Michael Lohan

Michael Lohan Quotes

Just like the [topless] Marilyn Monroe spread, Linds is my daughter and there are just some things a father doesn't want to see or hear, regardless of whether they are true or false.

Michael Lohan [on daughter dating Samanta Ronson]

Michael Lohan: Maybe her mother's life revolves around the tabloids and reports, but mine doesn't. I am into setting a good example and doing good things that don't deceive or exploit my kids. But I will say this: While we were a family, you never even saw or heard a negative thing about any of us.