Michael Lohan Ordered Not to Stalk, Whack Kate Major

Kate Major has convinced a Florida judge that Michael Loahn poses such a threat - he has allegedly threatened to "whack" her - that he's been restrained indefinitely.

Major, who used to be engaged to Lohan and has made similar claims about him in the past, only to retract them, says Lindsay Lohan's dad is also harassing her.

Incessant phone calls and texts, threatening to "ruin her career" (whatever that consists of), the works. Michael must now stay at least 500 feet away from Kate.

Happier times in between violent, ridiculous fights.

The judge also declared, hilariously, that Michael Lohan can't have Kate or her father followed by hired muscle. He also is prohibited from phoning or texting her.

MiLo, who has TMZ on speed dial we're guessing, quickly responded on the celebrity news site: "This is just another way of Kate trying to make money."

Not sure how that works exactly, but sure thing Mike.

[Photo: Pacific Coast News]