Dancing With the Stars Recap: A Sometimes Awkward '80s Night

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Week Five of Dancing With the Stars has come and gone, and for some of the competitors on the famed ABC parquet floor, that probably comes as a relief.

J.R. Martinez stole the show again and Rob Kardashian continued to impress judges and fans with his improvement, one of the season's pleasant surprises.

Beyond that, though? Oye.

J.R. Martinez and Karina Smirnoff

It took about an hour before J.R. Martinez injected some life into this week's show that earned a 10 from Bruno and had Carrie Ann a bit ... hot and bothered?

"Muy caliente!" she exclaimed. "I want more of that!" Same here, Carrie Ann. Same here. J.R.'s samba earned him 28 points, good for a lead of three over ...

Rob Kardashian and David Arquette. Yup, David stepped up big!

First, it was Kim Kardashian's brother, giving his strongest, sexiest effort to date and earning 25 points. This guy is actually looking like a contender!

Give Arquette credit, too, because his tango with Kym Johnson to "Tainted Love" proved how good he is at these slower, intense, passionate dances.

Ricki Lake took a bit of a step back with her foxtrot, scoring a modest 24. We don't think she'll be going anywhere, but it was well below her standards.

Hope Solo notched a 24 as well, but was ripped by the judges for some reason.

Maybe they see unrealized potential in Hope more than other stars? Maybe they just weren't fans of her nude ESPN magazine cover? We'll never know.

In any case, she got an earful after a decent, unspectacular effort. She was also hit hard by Maksim Chmerkovskiy in the literal sense, busting her lip!

Accidentally, of course. Ballroom dancing is a contact sport!

Hope Solo and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Rob Kardashian and Cheryl Burke
Ricki Lake and Derek Hough

In the bottom tier, Nancy Grace looked full-on awkward getting a ittle raunchy with Tristan MacManus, while Carson Kressley's jive felt totally uninspired.

Chaz Bono won praise for an energetic and rhythmic samba, albeit with the qualifier that it's hard to compare it to one like J.R.'s. Lowered expectations ...

Here's a look at Monday's Dancing With the Stars scores:

  • J.R. Martinez & Karina Smirnoff: 28
  • David Arquette & Kym Johnson: 25
  • Rob Kardashian & Cheryl Burke: 25
  • Hope Solo & Maks Chmerkovskiy: 24
  • Ricki Lake & Derek Hough: 24
  • Nancy Grace & Tristan MacManus: 22
  • Chaz Bono & Lacey Schwimmer: 21
  • Carson Kressley & Anna Trebunskaya: 19

Who do you think has danced his or her last routine? Do you agree with the pairs on top and in the cellar? Who's going home on tonight's results show?

Comment below, and vote for who you think will win!


Dancing with the Stars Quotes

We should have started dancing with one arm waaay before.

Cristian de la Fuente [following his injury, trip to the hospital and subsequent stellar performance]

I am not the best dancer, and I have not been the best dancer from the beginning. I am happy we made it this far.

Cristian de la Fuente