Dancing With the Stars Recap: A Sometimes Awkward '80s Night

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Week Five of Dancing With the Stars has come and gone, and for some of the competitors on the famed ABC parquet floor, that probably comes as a relief.

J.R. Martinez stole the show again and Rob Kardashian continued to impress judges and fans with his improvement, one of the season's pleasant surprises.

Beyond that, though? Oye.

 J.R. Martinez and Karina Smirnoff

It took about an hour before J.R. Martinez injected some life into this week's show that earned a 10 from Bruno and had Carrie Ann a bit ... hot and bothered?

"Muy caliente!" she exclaimed. "I want more of that!" Same here, Carrie Ann. Same here. J.R.'s samba earned him 28 points, good for a lead of three over ...

Rob Kardashian and David Arquette. Yup, David stepped up big!

First, it was Kim Kardashian's brother, giving his strongest, sexiest effort to date and earning 25 points. This guy is actually looking like a contender!

Give Arquette credit, too, because his tango with Kym Johnson to "Tainted Love" proved how good he is at these slower, intense, passionate dances.

Ricki Lake took a bit of a step back with her foxtrot, scoring a modest 24. We don't think she'll be going anywhere, but it was well below her standards.

Hope Solo notched a 24 as well, but was ripped by the judges for some reason.

Maybe they see unrealized potential in Hope more than other stars? Maybe they just weren't fans of her nude ESPN magazine cover? We'll never know.

In any case, she got an earful after a decent, unspectacular effort. She was also hit hard by Maksim Chmerkovskiy in the literal sense, busting her lip!

Accidentally, of course. Ballroom dancing is a contact sport!

  • Hope Solo and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
  • Rob Kardashian and Cheryl Burke
  • Ricki Lake and Derek Hough

In the bottom tier, Nancy Grace looked full-on awkward getting a ittle raunchy with Tristan MacManus, while Carson Kressley's jive felt totally uninspired.

Chaz Bono won praise for an energetic and rhythmic samba, albeit with the qualifier that it's hard to compare it to one like J.R.'s. Lowered expectations ...

Here's a look at Monday's Dancing With the Stars scores:

  • J.R. Martinez & Karina Smirnoff: 28
  • David Arquette & Kym Johnson: 25
  • Rob Kardashian & Cheryl Burke: 25
  • Hope Solo & Maks Chmerkovskiy: 24
  • Ricki Lake & Derek Hough: 24
  • Nancy Grace & Tristan MacManus: 22
  • Chaz Bono & Lacey Schwimmer: 21
  • Carson Kressley & Anna Trebunskaya: 19

Who do you think has danced his or her last routine? Do you agree with the pairs on top and in the cellar? Who's going home on tonight's results show?

Comment below, and vote for who you think will win!

 

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Come ON. This is supposed to be a dance contest. I don't care what your sad story is or what's your agenda, please be able to dance somewhat. You can at least improve each week. I loved Carson but really he had to go. The previous two weeks of elimation was terrible. How can they vote for Chaz ahead of them? I love this show, it's right up there as one of my favorites BUT if JR or Ricky don't end up as the finalists and Chaz stays on, because of his sad story, it's history for me

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ML Ward Nancy got a big standing ovation from the crowd last night. And what crawled up your butt, that made you hate her so. She seems genuine enough for me!

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Jeanie, people who are obese may just like to eat!!

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Donna, i don't know what i did to deserve having to watch that beached well, Chaz try to dance.

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David Arquette is wonderful..too bad he had to dance/the lingerie dancer last night! They really did an injustice to Ricky Lake last night..sucky costume and wig..when her own hair is sooo beautiful! And Nancy Grace, an ex cheerleader, who knew??

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Good grief, Jeanie - I'm thinking you're anorexic and hate over weight people? Ever think that maybe some of the drugs Chaz has to take might have an affect on weight? And blaming it on Cher being his Mom? Wow. This is a DANCE competition not a commentary on his psychological well being. I think Chaz would feel sorry for you. It was sad to see them give Derek two difficult songs in a row to choreograph. On purpose? David was surprising. Kardash? Go home! Hope was as out of control as Carson was. Love JR.

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Jose Martinez rocked the dance floor last night and Carrie Ann should be ashamed of herself giving Rob the same score as JR. Ron's performance was no way as good as JR. The only judge who gives a fair score assessment is Len. If the man has a big butt, Carrie Ann will generally give him a higher svore

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Yes my husband and I saw that the fly was open on his pants! Obviously the camera crew did too because they didn't focus the camera on that. I'm thankful he hasn't done,the transplant or his cow would really be out! I know being a woman with Cher as your Mom must have been difficult. I wonder how much of this sex change has actually been a direct rebellion against Cher. Either way he has a terrible problem with his weight, which is totally a mental disorder. People that obese are trying to fill a void of some kind. I just feel sorry for Chaz and his family.

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Anyone notice the wardrode malfunction of Chaz Bono

Dancing with the Stars Quotes

We should have started dancing with one arm waaay before.

Cristian de la Fuente [following his injury, trip to the hospital and subsequent stellar performance]

I am not the best dancer, and I have not been the best dancer from the beginning. I am happy we made it this far.

Cristian de la Fuente
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