Two and a Half Men Recap: Welcome, Walden

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Nudity. Fart jokes. And references to genital warts.

For all the hype and all the headlines made over Ashton Kutcher replacing Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men, last night's ninth season premiere didn't exactly stray far from the obvious, immature humor that - incredibly, depressingly - has made this the most-watched sitcom on television for many years.

Two and a Half Men Promotional Pic

Before Kutcher first showed up as a heart-broken billionaire named Walden Schmidt, viewers were treated to cameos that included ex-girlfriends played by Jenny McCarthy, and prospective home buyers played by John Stamos, Jenna Elfman and the guy who portrayed her husband on Dharma & Greg.

The appearance by the latter duo was a nice little shout-out to a past Chuck Lorre hit and at least felt fresh. The same can't be said for anything related to Kutcher's Walden.

Granted, he doesn't really drink and he doesn't intentionally womanize. So there is some difference between this character and the late Charlie Harper. But he also doesn't have a shred of personality.

Who knows if Kutcher was stiff as an actor (insert hilarious joke here about his stiff penis because, hey, he was naked a lot!!!) or if Schmidt was simply written that way, but did anyone find this schlub entertaining? Humorous? In possession of any charisma at all? It's only one episode, but Walden came across as both bland and stupid.

Of course, Two and a Half Men isn't aiming for any high ground here. It's just looking to draw in the same viewers that found Sheen's antics and Jon Cryer's sad sack Alan to be worthy of their attention each week. I'm guessing these are the same people who think it's absolutely hysterical to have a naked straight man hug a clothed straight man and then have the latter's son walk in with a frightened expression on his face.

If you're included in this group, then you likely loved the premiere. If you are not, congratulations. You have taste in television.

What did everyone else think of Kutcher's debut?


I think adding Ashton was a great idea. They needed a "big name" to step in. I think his acting is much better than the others. Although it wont be the same without Charlie, he wasn't that great. The thing that bothers me about 2 and 1/2 men is that the writers are always so fucused on hiring tramps. I'm sick of all the stupid skanks... it gets old after awhile. Ashton was doing great, and his character was great, UNTIL they decided to bring some sluts home. Can these "talented writers" create one episode that does not focus on womanizing. Hitting on girls at the bar to boost his esteem... sure thats fine, but bringing them home for a one night stand, CLICHE. Has been done a million times! Ashton should not be taking Charlie's man-whore role... and that's exactly whats going to happen. That being said, I'll give it ONE more chance. p.s. I'm sure some of you may disagree, but I'd rather Ashton be in the show than Charlie. Ashton's acting is 10X better!


Charlie Sheen, very candidly bared his heart & soul to the world;
Butt look, or not, at how Shwayzo aka Ashton Kutcher, sooooooooooo
mysteryless bared everything else too ! Is mystery so overrated ?
If so, the ratings may make, always leave them wanting more, passe.


My husband & I have watched 2 & 1/2 since it premiered. Every one on the show played off one another. We have often quizzed ourselves on which character was the funniest. Can't decide, it takes all of them to make the show.I never liked the 70's show,
and I certainly do not like Ashton's long, untamed hair. I feel
sorry for the other cast members. We just don't think the show
is going to make it without Charlie. We are going to watch and
give it a chance though.Hope it is worth the time.Good luck to
Charlie. Hope they bring him back from the dead.


Mandy, you can download each and every episode on btjunkie, thepiratebay and eztv.


Well I used to tune in now and then almost 3 or 4 times a week when I get the chance. I still have not seen the first of the episode yet. I have not seen the last one where Charley is killed off neither, but I like what pattycupcake said about "the way that Charley might return from the 'DEAD'". I like the character that Chrley played. I hope I get a chance to see his last episode somehow. I will be tuning in to see how Ashton is doing tonight, if I remember.


I live in Europe and absolutely uninformed except for 1 LITTLE video on youtube where I could follow part of the 1st show. I think they should do something about that, we in Europe cannot view anything from this show. I like Ashton, and all the others very much, I think it's entertaining, so please do something about this!?! youtube does not permit the viewing and others are impossible to send the shows beginning, we are quite dissapointed here....


you rally can not judge on the first show. i too do not like ashton"s hair. needs to be cleaned up.he actually acted like he did on "that 70"s show"we do not want to see that.looks like he just might be another charlie,when he went upstairs with those two girls. i did not like the nude scene. hope he does not do that too often.only time will tell what kind of a show it will be.


I don't think there's a chance in heck that Charlie could ever come back. Talk about your burned bridges! Is nice to think about though. Ahhh, yes. That would be great... Oh well. Chuck Lorre would never have it.


i'm a big fan of Chuck Lorre's other sitcom, the big bang theory, so don't have a horse in this race. i just watched it out of curiosity. to me the show has always been lame. i thought the new character was fine. and btw, charlie harper's body was never really found because it supposedly went to pieces, but that means he could have somehow escaped his crazy bride and all the urn was holding was subway ash. money talks in hollywood and kutcher only has a one-year contract. the door is open for sheen to return. but i'd rather see him do well on a better show.


There were some really funny parts, but it was Alan doing the funny parts. charlie Sheen fit the character he played, which was so funny for a comedy show, but trouble is, he lived it also. He messed it up himself. He has no respect for love, life, ex-wives or girlfriends he is a bomb waiting to go off. to bad he is talented. Ashton was not so funny, but Its the script writers I am sure, they could have come up with a better script for someone to replace Charlie. Ashton is cute (not with that hair now, but he is cute), he is good and smart and loyal, so i dont feel that it is him, its they way they wrote the character. sad, A sad depressed hippie is not my style so I wish them luck. I will watch it again, as I do like the show. who knows ??????

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Ashton Kutcher Biography

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Ashton Kutcher made more headlines than ever throughout 2011. Following a modest movie career, he took over for Charlie Sheen on Two and... More »
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Ashton Kutcher