The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Keepin' it Classy in Punta Cana

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey made their way to the Dominican Republic's Punta Cana this week with one question on their minds. Can't we all just get along?

What are the odds of that? Let's find out in our +/- recap!

Have you ever noticed how incredibly blinged out Teresa's phone is? Plus 5 because I don't think you could fit one more sparkle, sequin, or rhinestone and still be able to speak.

Joe Giudice in Action

But the trip really starts off with the packing. Seriously, they're going away for four days and Teresa has nine bags. And I've never seen so much leopard print luggage in my life. Apparently it's a hot item in Jersey.

Plus 8 to Lauren who points out that if sharks are attracted to shiny objects, Teresa and Melissa are shark bait. That could put a quick end to this vacation.

There were so many things that made me ill in this episode it's hard to count them all ... but here goes.

Did Joe Guidice, Richie, Albie, and Chris really have to jump out of the vehicles to pee on the side of the road? As if TV doesn't make Jersey look trashy enough, these idiots have to prove it to the Dominican Republic. Minus 10. Apparently they needed their Mommies to ask them if they had to go before they left the airport.

Which was worse? Watching Joe Gorga sniff Melissa's bikini bottoms or listening to Joe Guidice complain about how his wife's menstrual cycle was going to ruin vacation sex? Minus 20 because I almost turned off the TV.

Then we got to watch Teresa have her own little bikini fashion show. Talk about needing to be the center of attention.  There simply isn't enough coffee to get you through a morning of Teresa parading around in her stripper outfits. Minus another 8.

The Manzo kids seem to be having the most fun here. Plus 7 to Chris and Albie who had me laughing about Richie's resemblance to Jeff Goldblum and the similarities between Punta Cana and Jurassic Park. Plus it was nice to see Lauren having fun with her brothers.

Teresa Giudice Bikini Photo

Caroline got off easy with her migraine. Plus 10 for choosing to stay behind and sleep in blissful peace and quiet. You knew there'd be none of that on the catamaran trip.

I'd love to see the bar tab for this little party. Yikes!   

There's more talk about the Gorga's and Guidice's sex lives. Do you ever wonder why they advertise it so much? What are they compensating for?

I expected the first fight to go to Teresa and Melissa or the dueling Joes. Instead it went to Teresa and Kathy. I didn't think Kathy was intentionally trying to poke the beast but then again, it didn't take much. Suddenly, Teresa was bringing up the fight from the christening once again. Minus 9. So much for leaving the past in the past.

My favorite moment of the night was when Albert asked an obvious and intelligent question of Joe Guidice's restaurant scheme. "Where's the money going to come from to make the payroll every week?" Plus 20! There's a concept. An actual business plan. Joe's response, "It doesn't matter." Is it any surprise he's so familiar with bankruptcy court?

The fun in Punta Cana continues next week. For now, here's where our points ended up:

EPISODE TOTAL: +3! SEASON TOTAL: -76!

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Who all don't care2 watch the show don't watch but for us fans that do we're hoping the show want get canceled.As for tresea I luv her she's just misunderstood she stand up for hers u go gril.Kathy know what she's doing Melissa need too keep her mouth shut except when she sings now she can blow.As for the 2's Joe's Melissa's. hubby is funny I like him treads hubby need help braveo instead of trips get himsom help

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Every week I am more and more disturbed by the lack of good taste exhibited on this show. Its like watching a car wreck...you don't want to see the blood, but just can't help but look! Theresa is seeming more and more pathetic and desperate with each episode. And with regard to their oldest daughter and her disturbing "songs",I absolutely don't understand why anyone would allow their child to be exploited on a tv program when it is so obvious that she is in need of some stability and maturity from the adult parents in her life! We have laws against animal cruelty, but its alright to watch a little girl have a mental breakdown? Come on, someone needs to put a stop to this nonsense and send all of these people back in to their little narcisstic holes.

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Caroline and her family are the only ones with class and act like real good people, my question is how do they stand being around Theresa? She is a class A Beoth=ch. She needs to get over her self she is Not as hot as she thinks and Joe is a PIG

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why ??????
FIRST; Who is paying for all of this????
SECOND; I am from New Jersey we(meaning 95%of NJ'en's)DO NOT act like this.
I am tried of the whole bunch. Please go back into the woodwork were you came from!!!!!

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These classless pigs hamming it up in Puta Cunta! Too bad they didn't get shipwrecked on Gilligan's Island!

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My 11 yr old son summed it ALL up for me:
"Why do you watch that kind of show, mom?" I said 'It's sooo stupid that I can sleep through it easily' His words of wisdom "Doesn't that make you 'stoopee' just for wasting the electricity on stupid show like that? Why don't you watch Spongebob instead?" I am taking up on his suggestion.
Shame on Bravo for allowing this kind of obnoxious shameful despicable behaviors flaunt on TV. Double 'shame on yous' to all the RHoNJ casts for thinking that what you are showingoff now is not going to haunt you down the years.
Why do people have to feel sorry for the Guidices financial woes? That woman can still feed on her illusions of fabulousity by milking the working class men? It's stupid as STUPID does!!~!!

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It is obvious Teresa's Joe doesn't like her much, or even have very much respect for her, except begrudgingly in front of a crowd. It is making me feel quite uncomfortable to watch it. This show just keeeps me interested tho, with its disturbing personalities.

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I like Caroline but I think she was suffering from just a little bit of that green-eyed devil claiming she was suffering from a migraine. Melissa and Joe are funny but nasty for doing it in the ladies changing booth. Teresa is a nut case but she did look better than Melissa.

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I can't elevate the two Joe's behavior to that of other wildlife. Animals behave with much more class than they do. Let's hope climate change makes their species extinct, but unfortunately, no such luck.