The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Drama in Joe-Boken

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey were back this week and it truly was painful, in so many ways. Let's relive all the action in THG's + or - recap!

Teresa fills in Caroline and Jacqueline about her husband and brother's text feud. Plus 10 goes immediately to Caroline who points out that fighting via text messages is for high school girls, not grown men. Of course, your average high school girl might have more common sense than this crowd.

Teresa Laughs

Teresa laments what she should do about Milania's upcoming birthday party. Should she invite her brother? Should she ask her husband to play nice? Another Plus 5 for Caroline telling the men to act like big boys. It's a child's birthday party. If these two can't shut their mouths for a few hours so a kid can enjoy her birthday, well that's pretty sad.

Later, the Housewives crew participates in a charity 5K run. Why are they there? No one really seems to know. Hopefully they're all donating money for the cause. 

Teresa has to pull her husband out of bed for the event. Please God, do I have to see Joe Guidice in his underwear? Is this punishment for something? Minus 8 because now I have to try and burn that image from my brain.

Albie, Chris, Greg, and Lauren were hysterical as they made fun of Teresa and her books. What's next? A book about today's charity event titled The Walking Italian? How about dealing with her sister and we call it The Jealous Italian. An SAT prep book for The Stupid Italian or Teresa's take on the Kama Sutra, The F*cking Italian. Plus 15 to them all because I couldn't stop laughing.

As usual, this crowd is late to the event. The race has already started as they pull up. Minus 5.

What is with those outfits? Teresa looks like she stepped out of an '80s music video and Melissa must be auditioning for Josie and the Pussy Cats. Chris makes fun of his mom saying she looks like the homeless woman in the group but that's only because she's dressed normally.

Joe Guidice tells his wife, "You know me. I don't start nothin'." Then proceeds to openly make fun of his brother-in-law. Minus 7.

Kathy seems to be the only one taking this race seriously although Teresa also manages to finish. Plus 8 for making the effort. Caroline and Melissa bow out before they even begin. Joe Gorga, Albie, Chris, and Greg cheat by crawling under a fence and taking a massive short cut. Sad but funny just the same.

Joe Guidice comes in last but he brings the wine and sausage for the after race tailgating so he earns a Plus 5.

Joe and Melissa Gorga

Joe and Melissa visit the boys in Hoboken. Greg is Melissa's best new girlfriend as he not so secretly lusts after her husband. We also got more information than I ever wanted about Tarzan Joe's grooming techniques. Minus 5.

It's Milania's 5th birthday and Teresa can't do the pink stretch limos and over the top extravaganzas she's done in the past. So they hold a pizza party at Joe's restaurant. The kids got to make pizzas and everyone is fairly civil.

Then Gia sings a song for her sister and another for her Mom and Uncle Joe. The little girl breaks down in tears. She simply wants them to act like they love one another. 

The saddest part about the entire episode is that Teresa feels that the song is meant for Joe, not her. Her little girl is having a breakdown and still all the woman can do is point fingers and put on a show. Minus 15. Seems like the children in this family have better communication skills than the adults.

EPISODE TOTAL: +3! SEASON TOTAL: -79!

The entire crew flies off to Mexico next week. Will the country ever be the same?

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I agree with blogger C.Jones, that little girl infact all of Theresea kids are not very attractive and the one that had the birthday parthy, she cries more than any kid I have ever seen and she is terrible, she needs her but spank. The way she was acting is not very good. Her brother Joe looks like ET and that ain't good.

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I am so over Greg. He is such a suck up. What i find most annoying about the housewive Franchise of late is NEW JERSEY. The entire Manzo family and GREG, who were supposed to be friends to Teresa are constantly making snide comments. Not only to her back but IN her face. And it is clear that this woman is on the verge of some sort of breakdown. Moreover, where does Greg get off w/his blantant disregard for Teresa and her feelings. When did he become a housewife and why are his opinions so important.. What happened to Caroline to make her behave so rudely to Tereasa. Tereasa , however, is not without fault. Her constant catty comments and overreactions to EVERYTHING are exhusting. I can not help but to say I really hope that the New Jersey Franchise either get cancelled or that next season there is an entirely new cast. You can not have one of the housewives w/o the other, so if a few go... I would like to see them all gone.

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That Teresa and Joe are off their rockers. Where are they getting the money to travel and spend like they do. Where is the IRS? They would have me locked up and now they plan to open a restaurant; you have got to be kidding. Teresa's brother is such an idiot; does he not have any common sense; shut your mouth and quit sniffing your wife's panties; not cute or funny == disgusting!!! The only ones with any sense is Caroline, but why is she traveling with these fools. Teresa's cousin is so nice and such a lady; Teresa you could learn from her. Joe and Teresa has the brattiest children...YIKES!!!! I watch because it is like a train wreck; can't take your eyes off of it.

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after i saw the little girl sing her song and cry, i forgot about the rest: the party, the adults, the whole rest of the episode...my whole heart goes out to that little girl and i pray that these alleged GROWN-UPS can cut the petty fighting for the sake of a little girl! Obviously, the little girl is hurting the most in this situation.

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That was one lil ugly girl in that pink jersey that was standing behind gia lol

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I cried for that lil girl it was sooo sad you can tell how much pain she is in ...... When gia starting crying again you Teresa look around the room and then said to gia ok ok don't cry.. like she was getting embarrass that her daughter was crying .... It was just very sad

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Is there no end to Teresa's stupidity? I wish she, that orangutang of a husband will take those 4 kids and leave TV and the USA forever! She thinks the world revolves around her---well it doesn't! I see she staged a second wedding recently---just what you do when you are on the balls of your ass---buy a $25,000 wedding gown. The IRS should have been waiting at the door as they left to collect every gift they received to help defray their debt!

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They fly off to Punta Cana, DR not Mexcio.

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