Charlie Sheen Swears Off Marriage, Booze and Multiple Babes

Charlie Sheen has great news for women everywhere: he's swearing off marriage.

Appearing on The Wendy Williams Show yesterday, the mega rich actor told the host: “A couple of things I don’t do well: marriage and drinking. So why not quit both?”

Sheen - who absence from Two and a Half Men led to record ratings for the season nine premiere - touched on a number of other topics with Williams as well. To wit:

Did he shoot ex-girlfriend Kelly Preston: No, that's "completely false," but: "Maybe she was trying to commit suicide to get out of [our] relationship.”

What's the deal with Brooke Mueller: "You don’t want to know about that crap. We’re not back together.”

Any more goddesses in his future? “It kind of ran its course. It was really an experiment, just seeing if you could keep two women together peacefully under the same roof. It’s really hard - unless they’re lesbians, you know?”