The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Child's Play No More

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Everyone is really stepping it up (or at least trying) on The Real Housewives of New Jersey this week. THG recaps it all in our +/- review ...

Teresa's doing photo shoots for her second book and the entire family is involved. Between Joe complaining, Teresa whining, the kids screaming, and the parents looking somewhere between bored and annoyed, it's the photo shoot that just won't end.

The photographers earn a Plus 9 because I'm guessing they had no idea what they were getting themselves into and they still managed some decent shots.

Rich is an idiot. Victoria is 16 and Rich is telling Kathy not to talk to her about sex. Personally I think that shouldn't be one talk but an ongoing conversation and either way it's completely overdo. Rich seems to think that if Kathy talks to her about sex, that will put the idea in the girl's head. Minus 15 for taking naivete way too far.

Then Kathy decides to have said conversation with her daughter in the middle of a store. Oye. Minus another 5 for not making this a private conversation.

And those dresses Victoria's trying on for her junior prom are terrible. They're either too tight, too short, or completely gaudy. 

Hey, Chris got a job tending bar at the Wicked Wolf. I know where that is. Maybe I'll stop in and say Hi.

Did anyone else think Melissa's impersonation of Teresa was spot on? Plus 5. I wonder how long she worked on that.

Lauren's battling her weight and Plus 7 to Caroline for trying to be supportive. Her analogy about being 8 lbs. of sausage in a 5 lbs bag was hysterical. 

So they all went to see Albie and Chris' kick boxing instructor, Salvatore who is more than a little intimidating. I'll give Jacqueline a Plus 8 for that workout. She was wailing on the bag but Caroline bowed out. She came for the moral support. She's not looking to sweat.

I think Jacqueline should take more kick boxing classes. With everything Ashley is putting her through she certainly needs to blow off some steam. 

OMG Look Who It Is

Ashley's Daddy and step-mom fly up from Texas and earn a Plus 10 for trying to be more involved. Ashley is flailing. She's lazy, with a bad attitude and no ambition. She parties all night, sleeps all day and it's a shame everyone has let her get away with that type of behavior for so long.

This week Ashley wants to run off to beauty school in California. Oh but she needs someone to finance her. Then when her plan is questioned she whines about being picked on and basically tells Jacqueline that she should be happy since she's twenty and hasn't gotten pregnant yet, like Jacqueline did. 

Wow, this girl has certainly set the bar high for herself. Minus 10.

Ashley also complains that she shouldn't have to babysit her brothers since she didn't choose to have them. Why, you little brat. She lives in her parents' house, rent free and she's handed everything and she bitches about having to watch her siblings for a couple of hours. Minus another 15.

I really feel for Jacqueline. She's obviously made some missteps with her daughter but she loves her and wants to fix this. She just doesn't know how and honestly, the ball is really in Ashley's court now. That girl's not going to change unless she has to.

I hope Jacqueline really has had enough. Kick that girl's butt out. Let her go live with Daddy and see if he'll put up with that crap.

The Ashley saga will continue next week but for now we are left with…

THIS EPISODE: -6. SEASON TOTAL: -93.

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