Jersey Shore Recap: Wall 1, Situation 0!

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Ronnie and Mike's epic throwdown on Jersey Shore picked up last night in a special Sunday episode before the Video Music Awards. So who won the big fight?

We're gonna say the wall by TKO.

In typical Jersey Shore fashion, the events had to be seen to be believed, and the fallout was uglier than the altercation itself. Never a dull moment ...

As always, we've recapped all the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you. Let's break last night's episode, "And The Wall Won," THG +/- style!

Jersey Shore Cast Season 4 Pic

Not wasting any time, we pick up right where we left off, and the violence ensued when Ron's pent-up anger toward Mike could not be contained. Well, Sitch's head got rammed into the wall ... by Sitch. Seriously. Minus 20.

There's no attempting to explain that one. Vinny, Pauly D, Jenni and Snooki look on half-worried, but mostly just disgusted or stunned. It's hard to say. Plus 5.

Security eventually breaks it up. Plus 4 for saving Sitch and all, but Minus 4 because since when do they intervene when cast members beats on themselves?

Pauly D opines that perhaps Mike bashed his head into the wall simply to get away from the drama that is Sammi and Ronnie. Not a terrible theory. Plus 10.

"Not one scrape on my pretty face," The Situation says. "All those muscles didn't do s--t." Minus 7 because his sweatshirt is torn and his brain is bruised.

JWoww, the voice of reason this season, tries to get Ron to calm down. Plus 3.

Sammi, the voice of pure pain every season, makes it all about her. Minus 12.

Ron-Ron Pic

In typical Ron fashion, he quickly starts regretting what he did and cries. Plus 8 for at least showing genuine emotion. It's why people love the show, because for better or worse, these guys and girls are who they are.

Vinny tells Ron he'll help him control his anger. Good luck with that. Minus 4.

Ron to Sam, before admitting he's called other girls: "I do care about you more than I care about myself." Plus 3, 'cause that line really does sound good even when you don't mean it and your actions indicate the reverse.

OMG! Sammi is DONE! For good this time! Minus 14.

Ronnie decides to bail on Jersey Shore. Vinny talks him off the ledge and the cast remains intact for now. Plus 5 for the tension in the house right now. It's one misstep away from absolutely exploding with mass casualties.

A Situation Pic

"Light concussion with a light sprain. That's not good because for the next couple of days I can't GTL." - Situation's diagnosis and analysis. Plus 10.

Ron apologizes. Mike says ... he'll fight Ron next time. Minus 8 for not putting it to bed right there, and for feeling sorry for yourself so hard, Sitch.

Pauly starts a fight with a guy at a club. Minus 4 because we have no idea why, but Plus 9 because this was an afterthought in this insane episode.

Ron decides not to bring home some girl to show Sammi he's the bigger person. He buys her flowers. He admits he's been a d!ck. Attaboy! Plus 7.

Sam kills mood. Ron takes back flowers. Ah well. Minus 7.

EPISODE TOTAL: -16. SEASON TOTAL: +88.

Whose side are you on?

 

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@Brittany Fuck you Brittany eat my balls and swallow my cum you CUNT fuck you all

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Fuck the Situation and Fuck those two OompaLoompa Bitches Snooki and Deena "i kniw how to say prego" wtf Cojelona learn that midget priatitute, J-WoW your fuckn Anorexic Id tap you when you had stacks on your ass now your flat, Sam your nude leaked picture is nice great angle and nice Vag, Ron you lucky son of bitch fuck you and your steroids ill knock you out, Pauly D get a fucken hair cut ass hole "oh yeah hair cut yeah", Vinny Your ok but seriously bro I think you are the pussiest of all next to Mike. FML

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If u dont like jersey shore then y u even postin on this? Thats called immature=]

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Sam is just being a huge CUNT... Thays how shes always been since middle school thats why I just dumped her ass back in 10th grade. Still a pretty good booty call lmfBo as for The Situation we all know that prick had it coming and more. P.s Ron dont even try nothing stupid coming back to StaIsland bro you know where im at you fist pumping koala on steroids cunt

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This article is more entertaining than the latest episode....Ron and Sam just need to stop the BS before he goes bonk and grabs her ass up(not right but ya never know)A for "sitch" what was up with all that spit flying out of his mouth like a camel?Pauly D seems to be the only onewith any sense..nothing like jacking yourself up to end a fight!Both were retarded and I am team JWOWW!lol,the crap we watch to get a good laugh!

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I'm on Team Wall.

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Msammy has a mental prob, everyone askes her to get away from ron cuz she fueled the fire and all she did was make it all about her and how ppl were just sposed to calm down and stop fightin all of sudden cuz she's sorry, she's sorry all right and if she left I'd be happier! I like snook n deena least they party. Sam nds a guys from jersey so she'll stay up his as where she loves to be and not on the show where ppl r tryin to have a good time

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I care about the shore, matter of fact I'm sendin mike a get well card and a letter to sammy to boost her self esteem! Rite now! Yea Right! No but its purely a guilty pleasure and people either love it or hate it. There's shows that I can't stand like the kardashians bullshit or big brother and I just not watch them.

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Sam is the most self centered individual who needs a shot of self-worth instead of always looking to a not good for her guy and wanting to be the center of everyones world.

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Who gives a shit about jersey shore period?

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