Bachelor Pad Recap: Jake vs. Kasey, Winner Take All

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Last night on Bachelor Pad, Melissa went insane, Jake's feud with Kasey escalated, Bret Michaels showed up, and there was synchronized swimming involved.

Just another eventful night on ABC's guilty pleasure spinoff hit.

By the end, it was Jake Pavelka and Kasey Kahl on the block again, with a weird ending that would have people talking if the format actually mattered.

Read about it below in THG's official +/- Bachelor Pad recap:

Not In Sync

Blake, on Melissa: "She's like a live wire that's flailing around on the ground ready to zap somebody, and I'm covered in water." Plus 4 for that metaphor.

Speaking of water, the challenge is synchronized swimming! If you thought the girls would have a big edge here, boy did you think wrong. Minus 5.

Obligatory Minus 2 for Erica's attempt at "swimming."

Despite not playing to his self-proclaimed strengths - mental durability, physical strength and problem solving - Jake is the star ballerina! Plus 9.

Michael wins the rose, however, resulting in another boring, sappy date with Holly. Minus only 1, though, because at least this wasn't scripted.

Vienna Girardi, who was asked to come along on Mike's date for reasons unknown to all, spends the whole time whining. God, she is painful. Minus 9.

Once you get past the random, awkward ridiculousness of his cameo and "performance" for Holly and Mike, Bret Michaels is kind of the man. Plus 11.

Song choice: "Every Rose Has Its Thorn." Obvi. Plus 4.

Michelle Money, the girls' winner, is pretty darn likable on Bachelor Pad. Plus 13 for turning around her image. She's not perfect, but seems genuine.

Michelle Money Shot

Minus 7, though, for her pronunciation of Graham. Graaaaaaaaaahm. Not annoying at all. Plus 3 for those two, while we're at it. So cute together!

"I think you're great," Michelle says. "You barely know me," Graham responds. Still, they make out hard. Michelle definitely gets after it. Plus 5.

Minus 4 for the rose appearing and disappearing from Graaaaaaaaaaahm's shirt. Even we noticed that one, editors. Step up your game.

Back at the Pad, Jake Pavelka conspires to plot Kasey's demise. Plus 6.

Sadly, his plot does not involve playing "The Rainbow Connection" on repeat until Kasey loses his mind, attacks him and is removed from the house. Minus 3.

"I was willing to do whatever I need to do." - Jake, who then backed up his words, alright. He kissed Erica, and it was nothing short of foul. Minus 10.

She was a fan, however. "I have good lips that I maintain by getting injections every six months," she says. Gross, but Plus 6 for unintentional comedy.

Hey, look at that, we forgot William was still on the show! Plus 5.

The more riled up Kasey gets, the harder he is to understand, as his voice resembles a frog's. Plus 19, because no one cares what he's saying anyway.

  • Kasey Kahl Photo
  • Vienna Girardi Bikini Photo

Vienna Girardi's fake boobs are ALL over the place this week. Like, more than usual. Given her personality, how did she ever win The Bachelor?! Minus 3.

Kasey gets down on one knee and gives Vienna a ring ... a promise ring. SO lame, and yet fitting, as these two are developmentally in first grade. Wash.

Even Vienna can't take Kasey's singing half seriously. Take a hint. Unless ABC is paying him cash under the table to pull this, what a douche. Minus 11.

Melissa is freaking out. Like, panic-attack style. Xanax time. Minus 2.

A twist: Only one guy will go home this week! Not that anyone watches Bachelor Pad for the competition aspect, but Minus 4 for rules changing weekly.

With one final rose remaining, Chris just says "Kasey" ... and then we fade to black. Huh? He then says on Twitter that "It will all make sense next week!" Is Bachelor Pad trying to make us think? What gives? So confusing. Minus 15.

One theory: Jake punches Kasey in the junk before he bolts for the limo, and ABC just wanted to save that for next week's show. We can hope. Plus 2.

The Mask always cracks us up with his spots during the credits. Plus 3.

EPISODE TOTAL: +14. SEASON TOTAL: +28.

GONE: Jake Pavelka (we think), Dignity.

Whose side are you on?

 

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I guess last night show is leaving everyone hanging.....just as planned. I hope Jake is not off as he is the only reason I watch the show. Vienna & Casey are pitiful. What surprises me is the dynamics of the show. All these smart & beautiful people can't see through these two pitiful people. That is what scares me the most. We also see Amy feeling confused, as usual. So she once put a lot of energy into her relationship with Michael and he didn't appreciate her. Get over it!!! He is sincere now. So immature!

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fake is so subjective.. grow up... i dig jake's "fight". Kasey and his girl are are my least favorite.. "i hope thats not an engagement ring" HAHAHAHAHA good luck with that kas dog

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Please, please let it be Jake. this show is so lame but there really isn't much on TV right now to watch. I agree Kasey and Vienna are hard to take but so is Jake, he is so, so fake.

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i will not watch it any longer if Jake is off...i cannot stand kasey and vienna or melissa for that matter too. this is the worst one ever! kasey is an idiot and if i hear him say he's going to punch out jake one more time i am going to throw up, someone needs to punch him!...and vienna needs hormone therapy...stopy crying!

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These people are idiot's letting Casey & Vienna be the dominant couple...I can not understand why Casey was just saying that Vienna was all about the publicity, more than Jake last night! Then goes over & gives her a promise ring, which she thought was a engagement ring & wanted to say NO! Then she finds out it's only a promise ring & accepts it~lol! Casey singing & strumming that guitar was just A BIG GUBER! Both of them have got to GO!!! She is super annoying, but then again Melissa is too! None of those 3 better win, or there will be alot a angry people!

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Well if jake was voted off,I wont be watching the show,I have been watching him since Jillians season,and have always wanted him to win.

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I am really hoping that Kasey went home last night. They never end it without seeing the "cast off" saying goodbye to every one. AND they did not show scenes for next week! PLEASE let it be Kasey that went home!!!!!!!!

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Casey must go home....he's being played a fool by Vienna! She's such a B**CH! Casey should have got the hint when she told him "no" to an engagement ring.

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If Jake was voted off...that kills the show. I like Bachelor Pad, but I was watching it because of the drama/chaos between Jake and Vienna...Now, that's good TV. Ratings will most def go down if Kasey stayed...just saying!

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It had better be Kasey that is going home , if they don't vote him off now !!!! him and vienna have a very good chance of winning this game which i would be very angry if that happened , I'm a Jake fan and do not beleive anything that comes out of Vienna s mouth and i wish i was on Bachalor pad i would give her a run for her money and get them both off !!!!!!

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