Bachelor Pad Recap: Jake vs. Kasey, Winner Take All

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Last night on Bachelor Pad, Melissa went insane, Jake's feud with Kasey escalated, Bret Michaels showed up, and there was synchronized swimming involved.

Just another eventful night on ABC's guilty pleasure spinoff hit.

By the end, it was Jake Pavelka and Kasey Kahl on the block again, with a weird ending that would have people talking if the format actually mattered.

Read about it below in THG's official +/- Bachelor Pad recap:

Not In Sync

Blake, on Melissa: "She's like a live wire that's flailing around on the ground ready to zap somebody, and I'm covered in water." Plus 4 for that metaphor.

Speaking of water, the challenge is synchronized swimming! If you thought the girls would have a big edge here, boy did you think wrong. Minus 5.

Obligatory Minus 2 for Erica's attempt at "swimming."

Despite not playing to his self-proclaimed strengths - mental durability, physical strength and problem solving - Jake is the star ballerina! Plus 9.

Michael wins the rose, however, resulting in another boring, sappy date with Holly. Minus only 1, though, because at least this wasn't scripted.

Vienna Girardi, who was asked to come along on Mike's date for reasons unknown to all, spends the whole time whining. God, she is painful. Minus 9.

Once you get past the random, awkward ridiculousness of his cameo and "performance" for Holly and Mike, Bret Michaels is kind of the man. Plus 11.

Song choice: "Every Rose Has Its Thorn." Obvi. Plus 4.

Michelle Money, the girls' winner, is pretty darn likable on Bachelor Pad. Plus 13 for turning around her image. She's not perfect, but seems genuine.

Michelle Money Shot

Minus 7, though, for her pronunciation of Graham. Graaaaaaaaaahm. Not annoying at all. Plus 3 for those two, while we're at it. So cute together!

"I think you're great," Michelle says. "You barely know me," Graham responds. Still, they make out hard. Michelle definitely gets after it. Plus 5.

Minus 4 for the rose appearing and disappearing from Graaaaaaaaaaahm's shirt. Even we noticed that one, editors. Step up your game.

Back at the Pad, Jake Pavelka conspires to plot Kasey's demise. Plus 6.

Sadly, his plot does not involve playing "The Rainbow Connection" on repeat until Kasey loses his mind, attacks him and is removed from the house. Minus 3.

"I was willing to do whatever I need to do." - Jake, who then backed up his words, alright. He kissed Erica, and it was nothing short of foul. Minus 10.

She was a fan, however. "I have good lips that I maintain by getting injections every six months," she says. Gross, but Plus 6 for unintentional comedy.

Hey, look at that, we forgot William was still on the show! Plus 5.

The more riled up Kasey gets, the harder he is to understand, as his voice resembles a frog's. Plus 19, because no one cares what he's saying anyway.

Kasey Kahl Photo
Vienna Girardi Bikini Photo

Vienna Girardi's fake boobs are ALL over the place this week. Like, more than usual. Given her personality, how did she ever win The Bachelor?! Minus 3.

Kasey gets down on one knee and gives Vienna a ring ... a promise ring. SO lame, and yet fitting, as these two are developmentally in first grade. Wash.

Even Vienna can't take Kasey's singing half seriously. Take a hint. Unless ABC is paying him cash under the table to pull this, what a douche. Minus 11.

Melissa is freaking out. Like, panic-attack style. Xanax time. Minus 2.

A twist: Only one guy will go home this week! Not that anyone watches Bachelor Pad for the competition aspect, but Minus 4 for rules changing weekly.

With one final rose remaining, Chris just says "Kasey" ... and then we fade to black. Huh? He then says on Twitter that "It will all make sense next week!" Is Bachelor Pad trying to make us think? What gives? So confusing. Minus 15.

One theory: Jake punches Kasey in the junk before he bolts for the limo, and ABC just wanted to save that for next week's show. We can hope. Plus 2.

The Mask always cracks us up with his spots during the credits. Plus 3.

EPISODE TOTAL: +14. SEASON TOTAL: +28.

GONE: Jake Pavelka (we think), Dignity.

Whose side are you on?

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darn. i have been watching episodes on hulu religiously! jake going home was my last. no other character is worth watching. new show: The Tudors. its a shame too... I really liked The Bachelor Pad. Kind of annoyed.

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Jake deff went home, you can see Casey is shown on the preview for next week with the other 5 guys.... Im not watching any more.. Hope the ratings drop!!!!!!!

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If Jake is gone, I'm not watching anymore. I would rather see Jake stay than listen to Vienna whinning.

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Jake is ah hottie. Seems like an ok fella too. Go Denton! Yes, if he's voted off, what's the point in watching. Kasey is hilarious to watch "guard and protect", but w/o Jake..ehhh. I esp. loved Jake's synchronized swimming. Smiles all around ;) After Bachelor Pad2, what's next on your agenda Jake? All the best!

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Although I would prefer Jake stay, I read on Chris Harrison's blog that he said something about Jake's demise so I am guessing that means he is going home.

Heather mullen

Spoiler Elert-!!---Hate to break it to everyone, but it is Jake that gets sent home. Vienna and Casey make it 3rd until the end before they get voted off-(at least they don't win). The show is finished filming, and sources close to the show have already leaked this info.

Kellie m

So no one is going to comment about Kasey the Frog's singing? How funny was it to see Vienna have to suffer through that song? LMAO. It is bad enough to have to listen to him talk much less sing. My ears will be bleeding until next week. Thanks jackhole! Oh, and Jake kissing Erica...OMG that was just nasty. Who in their right mind wants to kiss her even if it was for a vote and to get help to boot Kasey. YUCK!!!!!

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OMG; Everyone on here is so awesome they see the fraud the Vienna is. Kasey came on like the good guy but we all know he a tool and betrayed Ames; eFF him if Jake goes I quit watching the show. Vienna bitches and whines like a hhungry puppy, then turns around and brags about her Malicous! attack on jake if i see her i may just throw trash on her what a total asshole...!!!

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If Jake is gone, I won't be watching anymore. He is a decent man. Vienna is spoiled and is just using Casey.

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This ridiculous show has to be scripted. Anyone with half a brain would think Kasey and Vienna were the most disgusting people on the planet and vote them off immediately. The fact that either of them is still there means their presence is helping the ratings...and all of us idiots who watch it, and then to make it even worse, are writing about how disgusting it is right here, right now. We are all pawns of the ABC network, and secretly (or not) we must really love this trash!