Romance. Resentment. Tears. The Bachelorette brought it all last night, with Ashley Hebert narrowing the season's field to the lucky final four suitors.
The eliminations were a bit surprising, but there is no clear favorite heading into the hometown dates, which must always be referred to as such.
So who got the golden ticket home and who got the chop? Who whined way too much and who handled their ouster remarkably poorly?
The episode also featured a sad interview with Emily Maynard, which we've posted below, in which she confirms her breakup with Brad Womack.
The Bachelorette spoilers we've compiled include who makes it past the hometowns, and all the way to the end this season ... if you dare to read.
Right now, let's break down last night's episode, the sixth of the season, THG style. Continue on for our patented +/- Bachelorette recap ...Heading into last night, J.P. and Ben seemed like locks for the final four, with two spots up for grabs. Then Constantine stepped up. Plus 4.
Opening up for really the first time on a truly romantic date, he emerged as a real contender. Maybe he's more than a taller, poor man's Ben F. Plus 1.
Speaking of Ben, he poured his heart out post-moped ride, saying he was "teetering on the edge" of dropping the "l-bomb." Way to hedge. Minus 2.
While Ashley stared blankly at that line, he must have done well overall, since he basically scored an overnight date a few weeks early. Plus 5.
He tries to downplay it to the guys but just can't. He's smitten with her and does a worse job hiding it than that white hat does covering his head. Plus 3.
J.P. Rosenbaum, apparently forgetting that he is on The Bachelorette, is PISSED about Ben's date ... and any other instance in which one of the guys touches Ashley, talks about her or looks in her direction. Minus 10.
"Group dates suck." Seriously man, this is what goes on. Deal. Minus 2.
On the most awkward group date ever, J.P. seethes as Ashley takes faux wedding photos with Ames and Lucas. She opines that this is a glimpse into what being married to them might be like. TOTALLY similar. Minus 6.
Ames on Lucas' attire: "It's very becoming." Plus 4.
Ashley says Ames is "a positive person" with "a great outlook." That seems like a nice thing to say before you dump a guy, but he got a rose later! Plus 8.
J.P. got the rose on the actual group date, however, after basically confessing his jealousy. At least he put himself out there, unlike some others. Plus 3.
Honestly, how many tops that reveal her entire back does Ashley own? Who walks around showing their entire naked back on a routine basis? Minus 7.
Ryan, on his first-ever group date, is totally jacked up, even by his standards. He's not only on Cloud Nine, people ... this is Cloud Ten material. Plus 4.
Of course, he proceeds to blow it by rambling on and on about conserving energy, tankless water heaters and the like. Cool stuff, dude, but wow. Minus 11.
Ashley, like viewers, is "just not feeling it" and boots Ryan. He pouts, openly, in a way that was awkward, unexpected and hilarious all at once. Plus 9.
This guy is awesome. It's like he's trying to break the world record for loudest sigh. We'd feel genuinely bad for him if we could stop laughing. Wash.
Sometimes I want to say like, 'Oh my gosh, I can't even breathe,'" Ash says, before bidding farewell to Lucas. That doesn't even make sense! Minus 5.
The interview with Emily was emotional, but also unnecessary. Why was she there? For all intents and purposes, we knew it was over, and this was completely drama free. We know they have to fill time, but still. Minus 5.
"It's just sad being here," she said, choking back tears from the onset. "The last time I came here, it felt a lot different." Ya think? Minus 8.
We like Emily Maynard a lot, but it was hard feeling totally sorry for her with Brad not there to defend himself with stupid platitudes. Wash.
Did she really just drop a dot dot dot reference?? Effing Bentley. Minus 3.
Minus 4 more for the complaints about paparazzi. It's unfortunate, but she went on a hugely popular dating show of her own free will.
Worst of all, while she talked about "little red flags" and how badly she wanted it to work, we didn't even get any details about why it didn't. You can't say that about the Jake Pavelka-Vienna Girardi interview. Plus 19 just remembering that.
TOTAL: -3. SEASON TOTAL: +209.
ROSE RECIPIENTS: Ben Flajnik, Constantine Tzortzis, Ames Brown, JP Rosenbaum.
OUT: Lucas Daniels, Ryan Park.
Who should Ashley choose among her top four? VOTE: