Teen Mom Recap: You and Your Damn Barney Talk

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Life is stressful for the Teen Mom cast. They need calming influences.

Barney is not getting it done, let's just put that out there right now.

Granted, Farrah Abraham was going through some serious stuff and might have found the purple dinosaur particularly annoying at that moment, but the girl was clearly looking for more from her mother as well.

Let's break down that and the rest of last night's episode, THG style!

Farrah and Sophia Photo

As Farrah was en route to court to confront Sophia's paternal grandmother, her mom tried to relay a cute story about Barney. It didn't go well. Minus 5.

"You and your damn Barney talk, Mom," Farrah says, frazzled. "Why do I want to talk about a Barney? That doesn't calm me down." Indeed. Plus 3.

The case was dismissed! Plus 10 for Farrah, but Minus 6 for MTV, which now has to cook up another quasi-fake narrative for young Ms. Abraham.

Does Farrah miss Derek as much as the show makes it appear? They weren't even in a relationship when he passed away. No points, just saying.

Amber left Gary! Plus 17! BUT, she's being investigated by police and CPS. Minus 8, and Minus 19 more since we know she'll be back with Gar.

The friend of Amber Portwood may be even more orange than she is. Minus 12. Girls, out there, forget about teen pregnancy. Don't fake tan.

At least Gary Shirley's t-shirt is a little less form-fitting this week. Plus 6.

Down the Toilet

Bentley looks upon the toilet upon which he will be trained. Wonder if he sees Maci's grades at the bottom. Oh, we went there all right. Plus 5.

She's failing algebra and communications. Minus 9, because algebra can be kind of hard, but communications? How do you fail your major?

Plus 6 for Maci Bookout and Kyle King together. He seems like he's a really solid influence on her, one that none of the other girls have.

Things are looking up for Teen Mom soulmates Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra as well. She's even doing her homework, people! Plus 3.

Her mom, April, even joins them in counseling. Plus 2.

Butch, on lessons learned from "30-plus years" of rehab: "You can't do it for nobody [else]- my kids, my truck, my grandmother." Amen. Plus 10.

EPISODE TOTAL: +3. SEASON TOTAL: +7.

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I could read a book about this without fniidng such real-world approaches!

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I never sign up for these things but after watching last nights episode of Farrah i got sooo mad! How could she be so mean? Its almost like shes not even human. How could someone treat their parents so bad like that. The fact that she calls her dad by his first name is so incredibly disrespectful. I feel so bad for her parents. I really hope that Farrah reads some stuff people are posting online so that she wakes up and gets her brain checked for mental issues. My parents annoy me sometimes but i would never let them know it because i dont want to hurt their feelings. Its hard for me to feel bad for her anymore. She is such a spoiled brat!

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Farrah is a good mom I just think she needs to respect her mom she yells at her like if that wasnt her mom..but besides that shes a good lovable mom shes doing a great job Amber got issues big time she needs to stop getting krazy all the time the baby dont deserve to see all the fights her parents have is not good for her Maci is a great mom shes the best mom in the show she dont need to be telling her babydaddy wat she does or who shes with Catelyn omg why would they give her daughter for adoption they could of gone threw with carly they would of been the best parents my opinion they should fight carly back

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Farrah is a dumb whore I really wish she died & not the father the father should of been alive & farrah should of died by givein birth!! Im glad she is goin through a tuff time because she give her mom such a hard time yes her mom is a lil weird but het mom was always there for her teen girls go thru things every day with there mother its life may be if farrah kept her legs close or praticed safe sex she wouldnt be worryin bout getn social binefits!! GROW UP FARRAH I HATE U

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Farrah youre a stupid ass little girl who needs to have selfrespect and diginity. You have to much pride and its making you look like a fool. Love your mom for she is all you have....take a minute to pull your head out your ass and look at everything shes done for you and YOUR baby. Grow up

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Farrah Is A BITCH And Then Some, The Way She Treats Her Mother Is Horrible. All She Has Is Her Parents And That's Because She's A BITCH All The Time No Matter What Her Mother Say Or Do Farrah Will Find Something Negative To Say And With An Attitude Like Hers She'll Never Ever Get A Man....I See Why She's The Only Child I've Tried So Hard To Like Farrah And Not Judge Her But She Makes It Hard

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@Janice: Wow, that is kinda crazy. Why would the mother be concerned about her sons Social Security money? It is not like she can get it. But DNA trumps opinion every time. I'd be leary of her too. Besides that, if she really wanted to see her grandaughter suing and slamming farah is not the way to get it. Thanks for the answer.

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I'd say minus another 15 for needing to take algebra in college. It's an 8th or 9th grade class.

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Some of you people need to quit worrying about Teen Mom, and focus on learning spelling and grammar!!! It amazes me how stupid technology has made people!!! Back away from the TV and READ!!!!!!

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Does anyone else notice that Bentley look's nothing like his father? js.