One is named after a car, the other runs his mouth like a motor. Both are as about smart as scrap metal and faced elimination last night on Big Brother.
Who survived and who was the first house guest evicted this summer?
THG breaks down last night's live episode in a +/- recap below ...
The votes didn't add up for the vets, so Brendon and Rachel went on the offensive ... by being nice. By being social! Look, they're like normal people! Plus 4.
Scratch that. Rachel revealed that her pet name for B is "Bookie" (pronounced boo-key, not like Snooki). He gets PISSED, since people will now think of him as less of a man and no longer respect him ... on BIG BROTHER. Minus 7.
In short, she "inadvertently demasculinated" him. Sure thing. Plus 3.
They made up. They made out. It was straight up wrong. Minus 30.
Nauseating as Brenchel can be to observe, their efforts to win newbie votes (and make Keith appear even crazier than they are) weren't terrible. Plus 5. It helps that they're playing with likable Jeff and Jordan, but still.Shelly's clearly not feeling the newbie love as hard as most, and was a good target for a swing vote. Plus 4. She must have NO faith in the new crew.
Given a chance to name a new "alliance" consisting of himself and the five veterans, Adam chooses ... Adam's Angels. So much 90210/heavy metal band name potential wasted. Simply wasted. Minus 12.
In his defense, he didn't vote with them, so he probably wasn't feeling the veteran love. Plus 5 ... and 1 more because "Donna Martin graduates!!!!"
Had Keith not scared ... well, everyone, this could've been an easy win. But Cassi's pitch to keep him, while shrewd, felt upon some deaf ears. Minus 9.
Kalia says "I want to do whatever the majority wants," but realizes that with a house divided, she can almost pick who the majority will be. Plus 5.
A night after Evel Dick's departure played out, he addressed the houseguests in a nice video message. We'll miss you, buddy. Stay strong. Plus 12.
Danielle's initial reaction was awkward, but she clarified herself well later. Their relationship is strained, she was on the spot. Give her a break. Plus 4.
Then it's time for the LIVE Diary Room vote ...
The veterans succeed in stealing TWO votes from the newcomers - Kalia and Shelly - and ousting Keith by a 6-4 vote. The vets know how it's done. Plus 7.
The Regulators, on the other hand? Great name. Worst alliance ever. Minus 24.
Plus 9 for Julie calling Keith out for the stupidity of throwing the veto competition WHILE ON THE BLOCK. Talk about overconfidence ... based on nothing.
Keith gets an additional Plus 3 for being a good sport. Not matter how poorly he played, or how hard he got played, he was LOLing at the farewell videos.
Porsche and Danielle have golden keys right now. If you had wagered on that outcome a week ago, you'd have gotten some LONG odds. Plus 5.
A rousing game of Big Brother miniature golf, won by Jordan, made her Head of Household. Plus 4 for the golfing skills and Plus 4 more for the dress.
So despite losing a player - arguably the best in BB history - the veterans survived week one and are sitting pretty once again. Better step it up, n00bs.
EPISODE TOTAL: -7. SEASON TOTAL: +25.