America's Got Talent Review: Don't Try This at Home!

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This is the first week this season that America's Got Talent emphasized told us not to tru things at home. Got that, everyone who is about to break out the pole dancing, motocross, and juggling acts in your living room?

Come along as I play the role of judge and grade each performance...

AGT Judges

Summerwind Skippers - The routine started off pretty standard with some solo work, but the circular handoffs needed precision. The group jump was a cute transition. There were some good Double Dutch moments, but the lights were distracting and a smart way to cover up any mistakes. I'm sure that Piers would have buzzed them if he caught any mistake. My Grade: A-.

SH'Boss Boys - There's something too gimmicky about the little kids and how they mug for the camera. I don't mind child rappers; it's the use of W's instead of R's that upsets me. Their spoken word version of "ABC" showed a lack of singing abilities. The second half was decent, with the cute dancing directions and the backup dancers that matched their age. I appreciated that they admitted that the producers manipulated the performance. My Grade: B.

Mauricio Herrera - Mauricio lost 19 pounds, but none of his over-the-top personality. Mauricio would fit perfectly as a Vegas bar performer, but not as a headlining act. He did his best to implement the dancers, lights, and explosions. He has an above average voice but was shadowed by a lot of better performers. My Grade: C+.

Seth Grabel - Seth needed an exotic show after having his Vegas fumble. The spoken word setup took a little long, but the trick was worth it. I wasn't expecting the cannon but Seth emerging from the water was brilliant. The combination of the balloons and paper were a great visual illusion for him to prove he didn't jump into the tank. My Grade: A.

PopLyfe - We were warned that the lead singer lost her voice, but when she started singing it didn't show. The little group marching section was cute and the group tried their best to work as a unit. The backup section's falsetto backup vocals were weak, but the fact that the group decided to have solo sections and an epic rock ending to the performance was perfect. My Grade: A+.

Ian Johnson - Ian was the dark horse of the competition, there are no other yo-yo acts. The dancers didn't add anything to the performance and Ian looked sloppy when he was transitioning between the first yo-yo portion. The diabolo section was more interesting and I was on his side right until he dropped the diabolo on the last trick. My Grade: C.

Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr. - Landau started off the top of the second hour which outside of performing last is probably the most audience gaining section. There was something about the tempo of the performance that didn't match. The fact that Landau awkwardly turned while he waited to sing didn't work with me. The song was touted as being an original take but the performance sounded like a generic karaoke performance. My Grade: B.

Purrfect Angelz - The former cheerleaders had the dramatic injury backstory, but nothing came to fruition during the performance. The performance reeked of NFL cheerleaders, but the tricks on the ropes were obviously used to enhance the generic cheer/dance squad choreography. The lasso work was unnecessary and it needed whip sound effects. One girl hid behind the haystack until the end sequence and I couldn't help but laugh. My Grade: B-.

Monet - Monet has one of many sob stories where she was homeless because of a hurricane. Monet started off pitchy and she didn't have any command of her lower register. Her pace was off and she wavered through the whole song. My Grade: C-.

Captain Stab Tuggo & Maybelle - I love that Maybelle has good life insurance. The husband and wife skit is cute but takes a bit too long until the danger sequences. Kudos to Maybelle for swinging things with her nose. Then Tuggo lifted a kettle with his eyes and everyone watched in horror. Amazing and gruesome at the same time. My Grade: A.

Lys Agnes - Unlike Monet, who had a sob story, Lys had time to mature her voice into the beauty it is today. Lys had issues with breathing in the beginning of song. The whole performance was strong and the way that she was literally in a frame helped cover up the fact that she barely moved. My Grade: B+.

Professor Splash - Professor Splash was placed 36 feet up, but the biggest problem was that there was no real setup other than Nick's random facts about the chances of death. He jumped, people went "Oh!," he faked death, and popped up. That's still the same routine, no matter what the difference in height was. He should have done the fire now instead of banking on America to vote for him. My Grade: B+.

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SHe hid behind a haystack because she was the injured girl dumbass!

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Strictly speaking, Ian wasn't using a diabolo, he was using an off-string yo-yo. The concepts are similar, but really they are very different things.

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