The World According to Paris: A Hypocrite in Quotes

On Tuesday evening, Paris Hilton took hypocrisy to a whole new level, whining about the very sex tape that has made her famous.

Then, Oxygen premiered The World According to Paris last night and we were proven wrong: this heiress can sink even lower. Through a series of self-serving, obnoxious, contradictory quotes, Hilton may have given us an honest look at herself.

But she simply proved to be a shallow, disrespectful, ignorant person in the process. To wit:

On why she is so mean to Kristen, the assistant of Brooke Mueller: "Some people just give me this weird vibe and she did that."

On the past porn-writing career of her new assistant: "What you do is something that really hurt me in my life, you know, something that someone did to me and made me famous in the process."

On her persona, spoken in narration while we see her dancing at a club: "I'm known as a party girl, and I'm really trying to change my image."

On her sentence for drug possession: "Because of a little incident in Las Vegas last year, I have to do 200 hours of community service and it really sucks balls."

On a stalker: "It's not my fault if people are still obsessed with me!"

Don't worry, Paris. Anyone watched this nonsense last night will definitely leave you alone in the future.