He wasn't even on the show last night, but Bentley Williams still loomed large over The Bachelorette, as Ashley Hebert tried to move on from his sudden exit.
Two dozen references to that shady character aside, the show gave us a boilerplate, run-of-the-mill episode with Ashley continuing her quest for love.
Thailand was the scene of three fun dates, a lot of kissing, a charitable endeavor, the man-claws coming out, and some seriously bad weather.
Not your typical group date, but certainly a rewarding one.
Save for a minor rule change by Ashley Hebert, there weren't too many surprises, as we're seen episodes like this many times and the favorites remain.
Will Ashley truly move on from Bentley and trust someone else? Eventually, you have to think so ... he doesn't win, after all. But she's not there yet.
The Bachelorette spoilers we've compiled offer hints on when Bentley returns (groan) as well as the final rose hopefuls, so check those out if you like.
Right now, let's break down last night's episode, the fourth of the season, THG style. Continue on for our patented +/- Bachelorette recap ..."I keep thinking about how it would be if Bentley was here with me," Ashley Hebert sighs. We know the answer to that. Revolting and slimy. Minus 9.
Minus 10 more for this: "I feel like there's something more there. The 'dot dot dot.' The door is still open. There isn't that closure." Please.
Fortunately, after their date was washed out, and with Ashley seeming a little disinterested in him, Constantine had a good attitude. Plus 5.
The advice they got from the shop owner was great. Love is not about winning. No wonder Charlie Sheen's been divorced three times. Plus 8.
Constantine and Ames both stepped up their game.
"It says a lot about Ashley that she would set this up," says William of the orphanage restoration group date. Yup, she planned it solo. Minus 4.
Think that Nick guy knew about the tsunami prior to this? No points, just asking.
Ben F.'s mural was the cutest thing ever. Plus 7 for getting into the spirit of the date. Contrived as it was, they did a nice thing for the kids!
J.P. Rosenbaum heated things up when he took Ashley outside in the rain with an umbrella and made out with her under a tree. HOT! Plus 11.
Ryan Park interrupts Ashley just as she was about to present the group date rose ... then has nothing to say at all. What a douche. Minus 7.
The Bachelorette is great because, as we saw with Ryan being called out, a guy will straight tell another guy to his face that he sucks. Plus 12.
Okay, he did sugar coat it a little. “You get extremely enthusiastic and excited about things,” is a nice way of saying he's a spazz. Wash.
Cheers to Bentley ... er, you guys!
Ames Brown is getting a lot of flak for his big forehead, cyborg-like demeanor and list of accomplishments, but he seems really nice and genuine. Plus 7.
Minus 4, though, for this line straight out of The Bachelorette scripted handbook: “Navigating these beautiful caves is exactly like navigating a relationship.”
Ashley's need for reassurance is a little irritating and pathetic. Minus 18. Girl, you're the star of The Bachelorette. And have the nicest body ever. Act like it.
Plus 8 for her being soaking wet for almost the entire episode, though.
These guys are apparently so awesome that she can only cut one of them this week. She can do whatever she wants? Really, Chris? Since when? Minus 6.
The previews ... who knew Bentley and the producers could stoop even lower? There's no excuse for bringing him back to hurt Ashley again. Minus 15.
TOTAL: -15. SEASON TOTAL: +127.
ROSE RECIPIENTS: Ben Castoriano, Ryan “Mickey” McLean, Blake Julian, Ben Flajnik, Nick Peterson, William “Will” Holman, Lucas Daniels, Constantine “Dino” Tzortzis, Ryan Park, Ames Brown and JP Rosenbaum.
OUT: West Lee.