America's Got Talent Review: Are We in Vegas Yet?

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Really, NBC? You call this the "Summer of Talent?"

Then why did America's Got Talent waste the first 25 minutes of last night's show on bad acts and laughable contestants? Did anyone wanna see a montage of bad drummers, harpists, and lounge singers? Why did we need two nights of Seattle auditions?

As I rip my hair out in anticipation of Vegas, let's take a look at who stood out...

Original, But Rejected
Marylee - The Funeral Writer/Musician was a hoot. She "sang silently" for decades. Her singing was decent and her lyrics were okay, but I think the in memoriam montage was what made the whole performance. She kept getting the focus on commercials so I expected her to make it through and I was floored when she wasn't.

Alaska (above) - I wasn't sure if the freestyle dancer was supposed to be intentionally or unintentionally funny.  I liked how both Nick and Howie learned the dance immediately. How did double dream hands get buzzed within seconds of his performance and Alaska get through the whole song? I couldn't get that track out of my head because of the constant Dailies Contacts commercials that played.

Amadeus - The pool pup was sheer cuteness. Sure, this was more of a trick than a talent, but it was cute. I probably would have given them the benefit of the doubt and hoped that the two would have come back with some different variation, like maybe enlarging the balls. I mean, if people love Wipeout, they would probably find a dog pushing big red balls around.

Same Old, Same Old
Brian Jackson - Brian blew British standard hot water bottles and has been training for 19 years. Wasn't there a person that blew hot water bottles on his head? I can't even find hot water bottles at any store nearby, why waste them on popping? Hot water bottles will never become a Las Vegas act. Please stop now.

The Art of Teknique - They were basically a three-person version of Future Funk from last season. They were better in choreography, but I was expecting the one in the hat to spin on his head and he never did. Take off the hat, please. It didn't go with a shirt, tie, and vest combo.

The Good
The BGP - You knew when their families walked onto the stage they would automatically make it through. For some reason I was expecting a OneRepublic-style group, but we got an interesting take on Elton John instead. Their version of "Bennie and the Jets" was a bit more staccato than the original, which made the song sound a bit amateur. While the judges suggested originality, I'm hoping that the lead singer comes back and decides to whiten his teeth.

Geechy Guy - He claims to hold Guinness Book of world records for most jokes in one hour, though according to the official website, it's held by Anthony Lehmann. He has one of those one of sets filled with one-liners which can be hit or miss. He's awkward enough for his shtick to work. I think his intense pit stains made him more appealing.

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Geechy Guy is my grandma's cousin.

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