This week on The Real Housewives of New York City, the Moroccan adventure began and there seemed to be a contest for who could be the ugliest American.
Join THG for its +/- recap, with points awarded for the worst behavior! Yes, since these are the Real Housewives, inappropriate and ridiculous are positive ...
The first group headed to Morocco included Luann, Jill, Kelly, and Cindy. The four behaved themselves, more or less and arriving without incident. Minus 5 each.
Luann made certain the staff greeted her properly as Countess de Lesseps. Oh, that Countess title just never gets old. Plus 3 for ego. She also earned a Plus 2 for name dropping when she subtlety inserted that Brad Pitt just left the Riad. She's back up to zero points.
Kelly gushed that this was a trip of a lifetime. She loved the Riad, calling it warm and luminous and was concerned about greeting the staff properly. Kelly obviously didn't know we were vying for ugly American points today. Minus another 5 for such appropriate behavior.
Ramona's worried this trip won't meet her standards. She must have the right type cotton sheets, her feather pillows and "I need my Pinot Grigio at all times." Ah, good to know she'd be coming to Morocco with an open mind. Plus 3. Add an additional point for the mention of her Pinot.
Did anyone else think Kelly hit it spot on? Sonja's ex was very well off but now she's fighting to maintain appearances. And Luann lost another 3 points for putting a halt to that conversation because speaking of a friend's financial troubles might be gossipy fun but it's most certainly rude.
Ramona couldn't wait to annoy the staff in person. She e-mailed ahead. She must have the proper amount of hangers, hand weights, her Pinot, and 600 thread count sheets plus someone to unpack her bags for her. That earned her a Plus 8 and the additional point for another mention of her precious Pinot.
The ride to the Riad was great. Ramona complained about the dust. The dust? It's a desert you idiot! She and Sonja made fun of the landscape, the people, heck even the livestock got dragged into it. I could only imagine what the driver thought. Plus 5 for each of them.
Alex lost 3 points when she remarked that Sonja and Ramona acted "like they'd never traveled before and it didn't matter whom the offended." At least she had the manners to feel embarrassed by these two dimwits.
The ladies arrived and kiss, kiss, hug, hug, everyone was on their borderline best behavior. When sweet, naive, Kelly said she thought things were going well, Jill quipped, "Oh don't believe a thing you just saw." Man, she wasn't kidding.
The ladies unpacked and Ramona needed to annoy some poor staff member with her flighty excessiveness. She even admitted she packed enough for seven women and no, she wasn't kidding. But at least I think she packed her underwear which was more than I could say for Sonja. Of course there's no surprise there. Perhaps that's one of the things she had to cut out due to her financial issues. Either way, Sonja earned another 3 points. Looks like she's gained on Ramona.
Luann offered to take the ladies out shopping. Minus 5 for playing the good host. Sonja and Ramona blew her off because they wanted to take a ride and hit a near by resort. Hey, I'm not saying you had to be joined at the hip for the entire trip but when your host offers to take you shopping the first day, you go shopping. Plus 5 for each of them for being lousy guests.
And I know Alex didn't go either but I granted her a pass on that one. She needed some rest after the long trip and that's an acceptable excuse.
What was with Ramona and sticking things up other people's anatomy? When hangergate occurred she said that Cindy needed a "hanger up her butt." She later said that Luann needed to "pull the stick out of her ass." Plus 10 for the trucker mouth but their was no mention of Pinot either time so no extra points were awarded.
How exactly did that lunch conversation go from Ramona's much too sexy outfits, to her fountain of youth skin doctor, to sex, and finally the differences between sex tapes and porn. Well, you couldn't say these ladies lacked for topics to keep things from getting dull.
It felt like we hadn't seen Brad in ages and then he popped up in Morocco. Minus 3 for Jill as she made sure her entire group would be invited to the party but then plus one when she said it wasn't necessary to invite Ramona. Although I had to laugh when she said, "10,000 miles away from home, still find someone that Ramona's pissed off."
Sonja and Ramona complained that they were out of their comfort zone here but apparently plenty of alcohol was the way to find it.
When Luann offered the services of a top local designer to the ladies we took back 5 points for the lovely gesture. Of course Sonja and Ramona insulted the man by asking him to go haul in some wood for their fire. Were they trying to look like a couple of jackasses? Plus 7 points for each of them.
Alex earned a negative 10 for actually getting up and getting the damn wood herself. You go girl!
Brad's party included alcohol and snake play. Who knew Jill would be so adventurous? But then we got the best cliffhanger. The Moroccan fortune teller told Ramona that her husband was cheating on her... and the room went silent.
In the end, Ramona won the ugliest American award hands down, earning 40 points for her atrocious behavior. Sonja came in a somewhat distant second with 23, while Luann and Alex both tied with negative 13 points each for having the best manners of the group.
- Ramona: +40
- Sonja: +23
- Cindy: -5
- Jill: -7
- Kelly: -10
- Luann / Alex: -13
So, did you think the fortune teller knew her stuff or was this just a fishing expedition? Either way Ramona's destined for a breakdown over this one.
I can't wait to see the fallout as our Moroccan adventure continues ...