April 2011 Archives

Charlie Sheen performed, or did whatever it is Charlie Sheen does, in Chicago last night. Unlike his disastrous Detroit show, it was somewhat organized.

The audience actually seemed to respond positively to Sheen and the second leg of the "Violent Torpedoes of Truth / Defeat is Not an Option" tour, too.

Some of the highlights:

Sheen Live Tour - Torpedoes of Truth

• The crowd starting a "Detroit sucks!" chant, after which Charlie read a poem about how much he hates the city of Detroit. Obviously.
• An interviewer asking him questions, including about his marriages, during which Charlie called Brooke Mueller a "kidnapper bitch."
• Charlie trading shirts with a guy who told him to get naked.
• Charlie claiming he owes Heidi Fleiss $2 million dollars. 

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In Friday's THG Caption Contest, we asked you to come up with the best one for this photo of Sisqo Chris Brown showing what a baller he is in New York.

Our winner is Nenette Mougeot. Nice work! The entry appears below.

Honorable mentions go out to Alyssa and freespirit114. Thanks to everybody for playing as always and best of luck in THG's next Caption Contest!

Dem girls be turning my hair white but I don't care, I got game.

Hugh Hefner has no intention of making loving, caring fiancee Crystal Harris sign a prenuptial agreement, according to reports. And seriously, why would he?

She's only 60 years younger than he and he only has like $43 million.

Sources close to Hugh and Crystal Harris say neither has even uttered the word "prenup" at any point in their courtship. The wedding is 10 weeks away.

What could go wrong?

There have already been concerns raised by his other exes and even rumors of Crystal cheating with Jordan McGraw. But Hugh's just not going there.

Hef, who has been married twice before, hasn't raised a prenup convo because he "actually cares about Crystal" and doesn't want to ask her to sign one.

Airtight reasoning right there.

Crystal doesn't believe that Hef will bring it up before they tie the knot and, rather stunningly, doesn't intent to raise the issue herself. So it totally works out.

The 46th Annual Academy of Country Music Awards was officially ladies' night, with Miranda Lambert, Taylor Swift and others taking home the top honors.

Lady Antebellum – the co-ed trio Hillary Scott, Charles Kelley and Dave Haywood – clocked in the most wins, but the evening's highest honor went to Swift.

The singer was crowned entertainer of the year.

"I'm just losing my mind," Swift told the audience after her big win.

"The fact that this is from the fans makes its so beautiful."

Lambert, meanwhile, snagged honors for favorite female vocalist, record of the year, video of the year and song of the year for "The House that Built Me."

Lady Antebellum won big, like they did at this year's Grammy Awards, for their smash single "Need You Now," scoring album of the year and top vocal group.

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If we were going chronologically, Rebecca Black should be the next Jenna Rose, since this video came out months before Black became a household name.

Fate can be a cruel thing, though.

Rose's debut single, "My Jeans," was actually released in October, but will now be considered by many to be a Rebecca Black knockoff, and a bad one at that.

We mean awesomely bad. Watch:

Jenna Rose & Baby Triggy - My Jeans

Things in common with Rebecca Black's "Friday" ...

1. Hilariously awful lyrics
2. Comedic doses of auto-tune
3. Unlawful driving by 'tweens
4. Random African-American guest artist
5. Setting new low for human civilization

To the surprise of no one, Justin Bieber and Katy Perry were among the big winners in Nickelodeon's 2011 Kids' Choice Awards in Los Angeles.

More than 200 million votes were cast to honor the best in kids' entertainment.

The show featured a bevy of entertainers, a variety of comedic skits, enough shrieks to deafen the average person and a 7,600-gallon vat of slime.

Justin Bieber Live - Kids Choice Awards

Katy Perry won Favorite Female Singer, Justin Bieber took home Favorite Male Singer, and The Black Eyed Peas won Favorite Musical Group.

Among those honored was Justin Timberlake, who accepted Nickelodeon's "The Big Help Award" for his charitable work and philanthropy.

Favorite Movie Actor and Movie Actress? Johnny Depp and Miley Cyrus. This is the last time those two will be mentioned in the same breath.

Other winners in the TV field included iCarly, American Idol, SpongeBob SquarePants, Dylan Sprouse and Selena Gomez. Congrats to all!

The Lonely Island - Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone, and Andy Samberg - are back and badder than ever. The world needs them. Seriously, b!tches, take heed.

Their new album Turtleneck & Chain (a reference to their hit "I Just Had Sex") is due out May 10. They're back, baby, and track #1 off T&C lets you know it.

Here's the disturbing, hilarious and VERY NSFW "We're Back" ...

The Lonely Island - We're Back!

Okay, so it's no "I'm on a Boat" or "Lazy Sunday." But you have to give these guys credit for their unique, warped sense of humor and musical "style."

Charlie Sheen kicked off his tour in Detroit tonight, and, the actor got violently torpedoed with boos from a crowd that left before the deranged act was finished.

The show started approximately 20 minutes late, as a random comedian came out and told jokes that made Two and a Half Men seem funny. A sample: "Shouldn’t they call the defibrillator a difibra-now?”

Movie clips then played around 9 p.m., two goddesses made out on stage and Sheen finally appeared. He stood behind a podium and said to the crowd: “I am finally here to identify and train the Vatican assassin locked inside each and every one of you.”

Charlie Sheen Monologue

That was pretty much the highlight of the evening.

Witnesses at the event said Sheen rambled on incoherently, at one point saying: "They took my awesome children... They took my sometimes bitchin job… And when they thought there was nothing left, they tried to take my titanium heart and brain and spine. But they could not.”

The audience grew restless, boos began to reign down and that's when the actor took to mocking those in attendance.

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In real life, Lily Collins has already found her prince. She's dating Taylor Lautner.

On the big screen, though, the daughter of music legend Phil Collins will be waiting for one, as she's been cast as Snow White in Relativity Media's upcoming movie based on the Brothers Grimm story.

Collins will appear opposite Julia Roberts (as the evil stepmother) and Armie Hammer (as the aforementioned prince) in this "action-comedy" retelling of the classic tale, set for a June 2012 release.

There's actually another Snow White movie in the works and it also has a Twilight connection: Kristen Stewart has landed the lead role in Snow White and the Huntsman. Charlize Theron will also star.

Justin Bieber has sampled it.

Nick Jonas has sang a few lyrics in concert.

But no one has paid tribute to Rebecca Black's "Friday" quite like Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon. The talk show hosts, who have agreed to be best friends for six months, collaborated on the track during Fallon's show last night.

The performance (which included The Roots and Taylor Hicks) came after Colbert accepted Fallon's challenge to cover the YouTube smash if Fallon's audience came up with $26,000 to give to DonorsChoose.Org. Both sides came through with their ends of the deal, leading to the following hilarity:

Stephen Colbert Sings "Friday"