The Real Housewives of Miami Recap: Stick a Fork in Lea Black!

by at . Comments

After each episode ends on Tuesday nights, we vow never to watch these Miami broads again. And yet, here we are.

It's as if we're saying to Andy Cohen, "Show us how much worse it can get. We sit here week after week waiting for this show to measure up to the other franchises, and each time we're disappointed."

I believe this series isn't working because Miami does not appeal to the masses.

The Real Housewives formula is almost flawless. Almost. The production company must be careful to select a city based on what they believe their readers will enjoy.

Beverly Hills was an obvious choice (albeit a little late).

Naturally we adore (and most of the time loathe) our Orange County bimbos and we find the tri-state dopes challenging.

Atlanta and D.C. we could take or leave, but they're stronger than Miami. Bravo has tried to entice us before with shows like Miami Social and we were just bored.

Second time around ain't much better; the women are either vapid and childish, or obnoxiously self-righteous. The strange part is that most of the Housewives are like this, but we just can't seem to get along with the Miami chicks.

Is it because we can't relate? Or is it because they just bug us so much more than the other women? I still haven't found the answer, but I spend each Tuesday wondering why I don't jive with the cast of The Real Housewives Of Miami.

Larsa is becoming more and more unlikable. She tricked us into thinking she was down-to-earth in the premiere, but we quickly caught on after a few episodes.

Larsa is eternally 16 and acts like that awful "popular" girl from high school.

She's catty, vapid and insecure, and seeks out people with similar characteristics. Hence, her friendship with Cristy. Both are examples of women most of us avoid like the plague. Larsa spent a few minutes on camera last night bitching about nannies.

Her conversation was not only insulting, but it bordered on offensive at times. Here's a novel idea: raise your own kids. 

Lea Black Photo

Lea Black belongs in Palm Beach. Miami is too young for her and that cleavage.

She's loud-mouthed and a bit of a know-it-all, which makes her a perfect fit for the social set two hours north. Between the peanut gallery comments at Alexia's pig roast and the green card quips at dinner when Marysol announced her engagement to Phillipe, I knew it was time for the driver to swing round.

Stick a fork in Mrs. Black, 'cause she is done.

Marysol is growing on me. My television co-watcher commented that she's a bit like Adrienne Maloof in the sense that she is reserved and not nearly as ostentatious in personality as her cast mates. While her mother still frightens the daylights out of me, Elsa Patton has become a rather likable character.

I'm still on the fence about the ring.

Cristy received and paid the invoice Lea sent her for freeloading at the charity event, but not before telling her friend how rude it was.

Rude? What's rude is showing up at a charity that requires a donation, then telling the cameras that you did Lea a favor just by showing up.

You're not famous and you have no redeeming qualities of note. You might be a big shot in the Miami social circuit, but to the rest of us, you're just a stuck-up townie with an attitude problem. It's charity. Buy a ticket.


Larsa, you make me sick. I agree with "pnifl" a prime example of a lebanese woman, Fake, Fake, Fake and full of shit! Instead of bitching about your nannies, you should be grateful you have a fabulous home, don't have to work, ect. You have all this because of your husband. Without YOUR HUSBAND, you are NOBODY!!
Take care of your own children and home and get off your high horse because you are NOT FAMOUS!! Your HUSBAND IS!
Phifl, I agree too, Like Lebanese women, the men think they are gods gift to women and everyone is beneathe them.
What a bunch of full of shit people!


This little Christy has zero intelligence. Who does she thinks she is? I never heard of her and I don't get why she's even on the show. Christy, you're not all that. There are tons of women more beautiful than you with class and intelligence. Go back to school and get yourself an education so you can gain some confidence and self-respect! You stupid girl.


Larsa Pippen is a prime example of a true lebanese woman. Self-absorbed, materialistic, fake all over. If you ever travel to Lebanon all you will see are lebanese women with inflated lips, boobs, and loads of nose jobs!! lol! The men are just as horrible as the women...selfish, full of themselves!
Larsa, I doubt if your husband is loyal to you. If you think he won't leave you for another woman, think again.
Why don't you go back to Lebanon and work as a maid...You need a reality check!!


notice Christy has no apparent man google her and find out about the man in her closet when her NFL husband came home and kicked his ass next divorce i wonder if he got the kids cause she sure doesnt seem to have anything to do but flant her Cuban self please girl get over yourself


Agree about Cristy, she just doesn't get that she CRASHED this charity event with NOT 1 ! 2 friends, she seems to think they should be greatful to HER? ah no Cristy greatful to the people who purchased the ticket and purchased items... to YOU ? Y? oh and the comment about "I knew al those peope there, theyre my friends" SO...? they KNEW YOU TOO AND THEY PAID!!! theres no excuse, it took you a month to pay and you paid for 2 should of paid for 3 !!!!!