Jersey Shore Recap: Team Sober FTW!

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The Situation got served in the Jersey Shore house's latest prank war, while revealing himself to be an even dirtier human being than previously believed.

Dude's more revolting even than the origin of the toilet clog, which was finally kind of revealed. Elsewhere, Snooki sort of admitted her lovey feelings for Vinny.

Sammi also came back to Seaside Heights. D-d-d-d-done!

As always, THG has broken down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode in our trademark +/- recap below. Let's get to it:

I Wanna Cuddle

SO SWEET: Too bad Vinny wasn't game for Snook's arrangement.

Snooki tells Vinny not to bring any girls home from the club so they can cuddle. Minus 5, girl, because you bring plenty of stuff home from the club too.

The first time you see an ex is always awkward. "Hey Sam," Ron said, "You look good." Sammi's reply? "You look pale." That HURTS on this show. Plus 9.

Deena says Sammi’s “hystatic,” which means “super-happy and … really happy.” Minus only 2, because at least she knows it's a made-up word. We think.

Ronnie awkwardly hovers around Sammi at the club. "I don't want to smother you," he said. Sammi then asks, "Are you leaving?" BURN again. Plus 6.

Snooki, on Vinny's package: “I actually named his penis Moby Dick, and I would love to try again to see if it would work.” Minus 8, because ... shudder.

Even though they live together 24/7, Pauly D still could not believe the pink top JWoww put on, his eyes widening to the size of dinner plates. Plus 4.

Oh That Face

D-D-D-DONE: So great/terrible to have you back, Sam.

The tension boils with Sam. It was inevitable. Minus 7.

Ron sums up our feelings: "I'm done you're done we're done I'm done you're done, d-d-d-one done done. Like, I don't even know at this point!" Plus 12.

Vinny's Dominican girl wants 10 of his babies. Is that a plus? Minus 4.

JWoww has got to go, so she squats behind a car, the second time she's relieved herself in public this season. The first on Deena's foot, though. Plus 10.

Snooki laments that whining about her feelings for Vinny only made her look stupid. Minus 9, because the only shock would be if she didn't look stupid.

Anyway, it's time for the weekly battle with the toilet, and as you can see by the Plus 7-worthy pic below, Ronnie is gonna get in there and get after it!

Preparing For Battle

READY FOR BATTLE: The toilet is a formidable foe.

When Ron's bid to break the stoppage fails, the plumbers are called in, at which point they unearth a vomit-worthy piece of brown-smeared cotton. Minus 6.

Plus 3 for the consensus that it belonged to Vinny and not one of the girls, since he wears [bleeping] something. Plus 5 for you if you can explain what it is.

Seriously, we have no idea what that is, thanks to all the bleeps.

Possible quote of the year: Cute girl: I’m gay. She’s my girlfriend. Vinny: For real? Girl: [nods] Vinny: Are you fully gay? Girl: No. Vinny: Awesome! Plus 16.

When you have to check a girl's ID, Mike, she's probably too young no matter what the DOB says. Minus 4, because Sitch has to be pushing 40 himself.

After last week's epic prank, Ronnie, Sammi and Snooki (Team Sober) punk Mike by hiding cheese in his bed. Like three kinds, too. Plus pepper flakes! Plus 8.

Minus 25 because not only does Sitch fall for it, believing his hookup smells like cheese, he thinks "oral pleasure" can't give you an STD. Run, ladies. Run.

TOTAL: +10. SEASON TOTAL: +215.

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You can catch STD's from Oral Sex???....we'll blow me down. wait, no don't do that.

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sammi rules and ron is an idoit for being rude to sam im in ur side sam

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the most pathetic show on TV ...how sad and misguided...snooki won't live past 30....

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Isn't Charlie Sheen in this episode?

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Since when did people start saying guinea t? & why is it bleeped the way "fuck" is?

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Really, Sitch is pushing 40? Why does he act like he's pushing 14?Isn't he a little old to be behaving the way he does?He acts like he thinks he's still 23 years old.I didn't even behave that way when I was 23 because I always felt it was undignified to do so. I know, dignity isn't really an issue on this program, but come on, I'd think he'd be embarrassed to behave the way he does:juvenile.I guess maybe it's just me, I don't know.But to be on this type ofprogram at about age 40? How embarrassing that's going to be later on in his life, or so I would think.I mean, there's nothing wrong with having some fun, if it stopped there, but it doesn't.

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I missed this episode !

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Bleeps? Was clear to me that it was a guinea-tee shirt. They knew it was Vinny's bc of the size & color. That whole scene was beyond gross & was given farr too much time. What's w/ all the phony love between the girls? They weren't that close before. Sam is using the girls bc she has nobody else, and they are stupid to allow it. Was sooo much better w/o her. Hope she leaves again. For good.

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hey I love u

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the bleeped word is guinea tee. It's new slang for wife beater.