Chicago and Detroit: On Vatican Assassin Alert...

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Consider yourselves on high Vatican assassin/warlock alert, good people of the Midwest.

Charlie Sheen has announced a pair of live shows for April 2 and 3 in Detroit and Chicago, respectively. Says the actor of these performances:

The Look of Crazy

My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not An Option Show is coming for you. I'm going on the road. LIVE.

Will there be surprises? Will there be guests? Will there be mayhem? Will you ask questions? Will you laugh? Will you scream? Will you know the truth?
WILL THERE BE MORE?!?!

This IS where you will hear the REAL story from the Warlock. Bring it. I dare you to keep up with me.

Tickets are on sale now. Purchase them and learn a few winning recipes from the master.

[Photo: WENN.com]

UPDATE: These tour dates have sold out in 18 minutes. Sheen is looking to add more.

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charlie sheen is on drugs and needs an urgent intervention, maybe even to be committed before he kills himself.

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Maybe this is just a very elaborate hoax. like with joaquin phoenix. heres hoping , it is hollywood after all and anything is possible.

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WINNING!!

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People will pay to hear him spew forth this crap? I can't even begin to understand why.

Charlie Sheen Quotes

Sean Penn, Mel Gibson, Colin Farrell. They didn't give me any advice. Within that there's great advice. There's just love. Just seeing what's up.

Charlie Sheen

All these words just sound cool together. They come from my grand wizard master.

Charlie Sheen