Charlie Sheen: Financially WINNING!

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Who needs terrible sitcom writing? Charlie Sheen is set to prove that being a crazed Vatican assassin/warlock is just as lucrative as reciting obvious, trite jokes on a weekly basis.

TMZ has learned that the actor will make $7 million off 21 tour dates over the next few weeks, as he'll receive 85% of the profits from all show, good for a total of $250,000 - $275,000 per day.

Sheen comic

Sheen will also rake in funds for merchandising and after-parties.

Sources say the act will last for an hour and 15 minutes and be comprised of nothing but Sheen in a chair, riffing and making jokes. When might you be able to give your hard-earned money to this raving loon? We've posted a few tour dates HERE and have added new ones below.

April 14
Toronto, ON
Massey Hall

April 16
Atlantic City, NJ
Taj Mahal

April 19
Washington, DC
DAR Constitution Hall

April 21
Atlanta, GA
Fox Theater

April 22
Tampa Bay, FL
St. Pete Times Union

April 23
Ft. Lauderdale, FL
BankAtlantic Center

April 26
Houston, TX
Verizon Wireless

April 27
Dallas, TX

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Cool as hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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GET PAID CHUCK TALK SNACK WITHA DRINK IN HAND HENNESSEY POCKETS WHAT TO FILLED WITH 7 MILLION PAID BY THE DAY HEY I DIDNT GROW UPA CREW UP FARIOUS BRULLER AINT GOT NOTHING
On YOU THOU YOU DID HAVE A HIT SHOW HONESTLY MONEY TALKS THE WAY CHIS TUCKER
ACTOR ARON CHARACTER LINES
USE IT OH WHAT'S YOU DOING INVESTAGATEING ON MY LIFESTYLE GET PAID CHUCK MAYBE EVERY THING WILL PEICE TOGETHER POUR THE HENN ICE BUY A NEW WALLET EASY GET THE PARTY STARTED
275.000 A DAY TO A BLACK MAN SHOOOOOTT

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Well, the guy's gotta make a living since he was fired from the show. How else is he going to keep paying for the drugs and porn stars? The fact he's doing these shows make perfect sense. The fact that people are actually going..? Not so much.

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I wouldn't expect anything less than from the idiots that live in this country.

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Boggles the mind what idiots will waste their mind on. The guy needs a shrink so he'll be a good father to his five children, not to have his ego further stroked by even more sychophants than were already doing it.

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Charlie Sheen needs to do what he does best, promote Porn. There is even a new rapper on the WEB called Porn Rapper who
claims Charlie inspired his latest work. This artist known as Porn Rapper is even calling Rap A Porn a new music genre. I
have no doubt that Charlie has given a big boost to the Porn Industry and will become a iconoclast mogul in it's future. I
suggest the "My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not an Option Show" tour DEBUT this title tract called X Slapper.
Party ON!

Charlie Sheen Quotes

Sean Penn, Mel Gibson, Colin Farrell. They didn't give me any advice. Within that there's great advice. There's just love. Just seeing what's up.

Charlie Sheen

All these words just sound cool together. They come from my grand wizard master.

Charlie Sheen