Jersey Shore Recap: Defying the Laws of Intelligence

by at . Comments

Pranks were again off the proverbial hook this week on Jersey Shore, with The Situation getting the better of Deena and Snooki, but later getting served himself.

Also, Sammi's back. Freaking wonderful.

To be honest, though, it's probably best from a dramatic standpoint that the Horror of Hazlet returns. Two weeks of practical jokes is probably sufficient.

As always, THG has broken down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode in our trademark +/- recap below. Let's get to it:

Prank Master

DUCK PHONE REVENGE: Plant marshmallows around this house, will they ...

Ronnie's father visits Seaside to lend him some much-needed support. He must not watch the show, otherwise he'd arrive to officially disown his son. Minus 5.

That bike they won on the boardwalk is hella sweet. Plus 3.

Nick, whoever that is (we lose track of Snooki's conquests) doesn't call Snooki back, so she calls him. About 19 times in a row. Dudes really dig this. Minus 9.

Turns out Nick heard Snooki hooked up with both Gianni and Jeff, who are cousins. When you sleep with anything that moves, these things do happen. Plus 4.

Vin on Snook: “I care about her too much to let her smash two nights.” True, you don't need to subject her to that thing after all she's been through. Plus 8.

Vinny tells Snooki she needs to find some quality dudes. “There are no good quality guys in Seaside,” she laments, and she certainly would know. Minus 7.

Annoyed by Deena and Snooki, The Situation calls them a cab to take them to Point Pleasant. Or so they think. Actual destination? Times Square. Plus 11.

Guy Code, Bro

WAY TO GET OUR BACK: The girls give Vinny the third degree.

It took them only about 40 miles to catch on. Minus only 2, because while they do defy the laws of intelligence, we half-expected a dropoff in New York.

Snooki is mad at Vinny and Pauly for not telling her about the prank. Oddly enough, Sitch would've totally narked had they been the ones who pulled it. Minus 5.

Situation takes too long to get ready for dinner, so the guys ditch him. This hurts his feelings, but he'd have done it, and a little humble pie never hurts. Plus 4.

Ron insists on calling Sam, who says "Like, I never thought you would, like, do that to me, and you did. I knew what I had, and, like, you didn’t." Like, Minus 13.

Sammi: "Don’t ruin your life over me." Ronnie: "You are my life now." It's too for me to suppress the urge to vomit, but that's kinda sweet, so ... Wash I guess.

Pauly D says, faux-angrily: “I just heard that you guys were mad at me, but I didn’t do anything. So I’m mad at you for being mad at me for no reason." Plus 8.

The toilet is still clogged. Plus 4. Previews show it still is next week. Plus 10.

She's Baaaaaack!

WHOOP DEE DOO: Sammi's back. People are absolutely thrilled.

The Situation held a family dinner. By himself. JWoww wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry, and neither were we, but we lean slightly towards the former, so Plus 3.

Deena and Snooki decide to play along and pretend they had the time of their lives in New York. Minus 1, though, because that lasted all of about 40 seconds.

The girls got him good with the last part of this zinger: "Mike, you're an a$$hole and we hate you and you're a bad person and were born in 1965." Plus 6.

A car pulls up outside. Who could it be?! Minus 7 for the non-suspense but Plus 15 for Sammi returning in the one outfit she owns, the white top and black skirt!

How long until they try to kill each other next week? Three minutes? Minus 20.

TOTAL: +11. SEASON TOTAL: +205.

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Like Us On Facebook

More From The Hollywood Gossip

Jwoww-and-roger-matthews

JWoww Gives Birth to a Girl!

JWoww is a mother. The former Jersey Shore star just gave birth to a daughter.
Snooki-no-makeup-all-baby-bump

Snooki: Makeup Free for #MomLife!

Snooki is showing off her baby bump in this photo. She isn't wearing any makeup in it.
Julianne-hough-naked

Stars in Stars (and Stripes): America the Very Beautiful!

See stars in stars via this photo gallery. And also stars in stripes.
Snooki-at-the-mtv-movie-awards

Khloe Kardashian Apologizes For Dissing Snooki: We're Leopard Soul Sisters!

Despite the fact that she's dating a "wannabe womanizing thug," Khloe has long been considered the friendliest and most...

Avatar

@mela: Soapbox, no. Expressing my opinion,yes. There is a big diffrence in those two things.

Avatar

Mela- how about u got off YOUR soapbox! Freespirit is absolutely right! These losers have put no effort into earning their money- somehow all their horrible character flaws come together & BAM they r rich! & btw, no shit we don't take life advice from them!! NO SHIT!!

Avatar

@freespirit114
I love how you're on a soapbox about the moral vein of society on a gossip blog. Lol.
This show is pure entertainment. Everybody loves train wrecks and drama. This show is hilarious. Yes, they're given celeb status. But it's not like they're nominated for public office somewhere. No one is looking to the Jersey Shore for. Life advice and if they are they deserve whatever they get.
Yes, we're rewarding their behavior but I don't see it making them worse. And none of them are serial killers or crackheads.
Lighten up or post your sermon on some page that cares.

Avatar

I'm with you, D-lister. It isvery sad indeed. One wants to weep.

Avatar

Seriously? "You were born in 1965" is the best comeback they can come up with? Oooooh, good one, airbrains! Growing older is not optional unless you die before it happens. Idiots. Somebody call an exterminator, and please fix the toilet while you're at it.

Avatar

Seriously??? Sammi is a complete idiot. That frustrates anybody w/ a brain. If she couldn't handle what he did to her then she needed to exit. To stay and torture him, herself and everyone around her is immature, inconsiderate, self destructive & shows she has no self respect at all. It's easy to be frustrated by stupidity. Get it now???

Avatar

why do you guys rag on sammie so hard? That girl didn't do shit! It was Ron going out to the club and hooking up with other broads then coming back home to her. And j woww and snook could have just been up front with her about what they knew instead of writing that stupid letter. Sammie has every reason to be mad. People on the show were dogging her no matter what intentions they had. Yea she is a bit intense but hell who wouldn't be in her place. Give her a f**king break! THG and Everyone else!

Avatar

Freespirit 114 I have to say I disagree with your philosophy. The truth is money is power! its power over people, over our hearts, over our minds, over our morals. And with the economy being so messed up these days it doesn't matter how u get a dollar anymore. All that matters is the money. The jersey shore clique isn't doing anything wrong. They just got lucky with an easy break. Don't hate on them. you need to Just ask yourself if you were offered a deal like theirs would you take it?

Avatar

@freespirit114: Sadly, your not alone with that theory. And before long, someone will even tell us to just not watch the show. Hell, you don't have to to form that feeling. Seems that every talk show host can't get enough of them also. Maybe the terrorist ARE winning.

Avatar

I missed it last night! She's back on the show, WTF? Ugh! Did anyone notice if u watch season 1, u see her laughing in Angelina's corner everytime Angelina starts talkin shit? Sammi's a spineless follower for sure, not a leader! Ha see what happens when she is in charge of her love life; disaster!!!