Jersey Shore Recap: Defying the Laws of Intelligence

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Pranks were again off the proverbial hook this week on Jersey Shore, with The Situation getting the better of Deena and Snooki, but later getting served himself.

Also, Sammi's back. Freaking wonderful.

To be honest, though, it's probably best from a dramatic standpoint that the Horror of Hazlet returns. Two weeks of practical jokes is probably sufficient.

As always, THG has broken down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode in our trademark +/- recap below. Let's get to it:

Prank Master

DUCK PHONE REVENGE: Plant marshmallows around this house, will they ...

Ronnie's father visits Seaside to lend him some much-needed support. He must not watch the show, otherwise he'd arrive to officially disown his son. Minus 5.

That bike they won on the boardwalk is hella sweet. Plus 3.

Nick, whoever that is (we lose track of Snooki's conquests) doesn't call Snooki back, so she calls him. About 19 times in a row. Dudes really dig this. Minus 9.

Turns out Nick heard Snooki hooked up with both Gianni and Jeff, who are cousins. When you sleep with anything that moves, these things do happen. Plus 4.

Vin on Snook: “I care about her too much to let her smash two nights.” True, you don't need to subject her to that thing after all she's been through. Plus 8.

Vinny tells Snooki she needs to find some quality dudes. “There are no good quality guys in Seaside,” she laments, and she certainly would know. Minus 7.

Annoyed by Deena and Snooki, The Situation calls them a cab to take them to Point Pleasant. Or so they think. Actual destination? Times Square. Plus 11.

Guy Code, Bro

WAY TO GET OUR BACK: The girls give Vinny the third degree.

It took them only about 40 miles to catch on. Minus only 2, because while they do defy the laws of intelligence, we half-expected a dropoff in New York.

Snooki is mad at Vinny and Pauly for not telling her about the prank. Oddly enough, Sitch would've totally narked had they been the ones who pulled it. Minus 5.

Situation takes too long to get ready for dinner, so the guys ditch him. This hurts his feelings, but he'd have done it, and a little humble pie never hurts. Plus 4.

Ron insists on calling Sam, who says "Like, I never thought you would, like, do that to me, and you did. I knew what I had, and, like, you didn’t." Like, Minus 13.

Sammi: "Don’t ruin your life over me." Ronnie: "You are my life now." It's too for me to suppress the urge to vomit, but that's kinda sweet, so ... Wash I guess.

Pauly D says, faux-angrily: “I just heard that you guys were mad at me, but I didn’t do anything. So I’m mad at you for being mad at me for no reason." Plus 8.

The toilet is still clogged. Plus 4. Previews show it still is next week. Plus 10.

She's Baaaaaack!

WHOOP DEE DOO: Sammi's back. People are absolutely thrilled.

The Situation held a family dinner. By himself. JWoww wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry, and neither were we, but we lean slightly towards the former, so Plus 3.

Deena and Snooki decide to play along and pretend they had the time of their lives in New York. Minus 1, though, because that lasted all of about 40 seconds.

The girls got him good with the last part of this zinger: "Mike, you're an a$$hole and we hate you and you're a bad person and were born in 1965." Plus 6.

A car pulls up outside. Who could it be?! Minus 7 for the non-suspense but Plus 15 for Sammi returning in the one outfit she owns, the white top and black skirt!

How long until they try to kill each other next week? Three minutes? Minus 20.

TOTAL: +11. SEASON TOTAL: +205.

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