Charlie Sheen: Headed to HBO?!?

by at . Comments

The lunacy of Charlie Sheen has resulted in CBS shutting down production on Two and a Half Men this season.

But don't think this news fazes the hilariously troubled actor, who texted from the Bahamas last night - where he's vacationing with a pair of Sheen-proclaimed "goddesses," Bree Olson and Natalie Kenly - and told Radar Online he's nearing a deal with HBO.

Charlie Sheen on Tour

“I’m close to securing a deal... for a 10 show guarantee,” he wrote. "It will be epic, all types of guests and we will focus on the truth and the absurd!”

Who could have guessed how prescient the folks behind Major League were when they dubbed Sheen's character "Wild Thing?"

No comment yet from that network, but Sheen is still under contract with CBS. Would he really leave a sitcom that pays him $2 million per episode? Yes. Because he claims the HBO deal would be worth $5 million/week.

Can we believe anything from a man who orders suitcases full of cocaine, refers to himself as a "High Priest Vatican Assassin Warlock" and believes he's "winning" at life because all of us "losers" cannot "process" his behavior? Of course not.

But, however it comes about, this is our best guess: no way is Sheen starring on Two and a Half Men next season.

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WHY ARE WE TALKING IN CAPS?????

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CHARLIE SHEEN DESERVES NOTHING AND DESERVES NO ONE TO WATCH EXCE[T MAYBE SOME OF THE PIN HEADS OUT THERE WHO JUST DONT GET IT THAT THIS IS A LIFE AND DEATH SITUATION FOR HIM. CBS WAS TRYING TO GIVE HIM A WAKE UP CALL - SEND HIM HOME TO DO SOME THINKING AND SOME MORE REHAB MAYBE. NOW IT IN THE LAND OF THE ALMIGHTY DOLLAR REIGHNING SUPREME ONCE MORE HBO IS GOING TO OFFER HIM 5 MILLION AN EPISODE???!!! JUST WHAT HE DOES NOT NEED.

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@ JJ...........F'EN A' RIGHT ! WITH CHARLIE THERE IS NO "I'M SORRY....PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I JUST HOPE YOU CAN FIND IT YOU HEARTS TO FORGIVE ME" BULLSHIT. INSTEAD YOU GET ...... I DID IT ... SO WHAT, IM AN ADULT WITH MONEY TO SPEND, MIND YOUR OWN FUCKEN BUSINESS ! YOU DEAL WITH YOUR OWN LIVES I DEAL WITH MINE, AND IF CBS DONT LIKE THEY CAN GO FUCK THEIR SELVES TOO ! MOST OF THE PEOPLE WHO TALK SHIT ABOUT HIM, WISH THEY HAD HIS BALLS !

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Charlie Sheen questions Obama about 9/11
despite AIPAC controlled media censorship

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5 million per week! Give some to me!

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Charlie Sheen is awesome. Does whatever the hell he wants to. Makes a ton of money at it. Loves to have fun. Gets totally hot women with ease. He is a hero to every man with any balls.