Charlie Sheen Thanks Fans, Wonders Why We Care

For the first time since his alleged cocaine use and adult film star partying landed him the hospital, which landed him into an at-home treatment program, Charlie Sheen has released a statement.

It reads:

I have a lot of work to do to be able to return the support I have received from so many people.

"I want to say 'thank-you' to my fellow cast members, the crew of Two and a Half Men, and everyone at CBS and Warner Bros., especially Les Moonves and Bruce Rosenblum for their concern and support.

"To my fans, your good wishes have touched me very much. Like Errol Flynn, who had to put down his sword on occasion, I just want to say, 'thank-you.'

Sheen isn't saying he has a lot of work to do in order to get better, is he? We're glad he's gracious, but there's no sign here of a guy who thinks he has a problem - especially considering the text messages he left for E! News minutes prior to this statement. Follow the jump to read them.

Responding to various rumors about his life - will father Martin Sheen really seek conservatorship over him? - Sheen wrote:

"Believe nothing. I will never speak about any of this as long as I'm alive. You're all gonna have to keep towing the same redundant line, guessing wrong....

"BTW, two wars are in an endless state of sorrow. Egypt about burned to the ground, and all you people care about is my bullsh-t....?"

No, Charlie, you are far from all we care about. You're more like a welcome distraction from those topics. Moreover, allow us to respond to your question with one of our own:

Two wars are in an endless state of sorrow. Egypt about burned to the ground, and all you care about is smoking cocaine and forming a porn family?